Hooded Sweatshirts, Candle Wax, and Burnt Coffee
by Lia06
Summary: Ben met Gianna when they were eighteen years old. He asked her to marry him when they were twenty-two. Three weeks later, he took it back and they haven’t seen each other since. But one summer is about to change everything. Modern Persuasion; roles revers
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I don't own Persuasion. I'm just trying out a crazy idea I had. This has been done before but I'm still trying it. I'm modernizing Persuasion and swapping the gender roles. Then, the story is told from the Frederick character's perspective rather than Anne's. I thought it would be interesting to see how it would work.

* * *

Title: Hooded Sweatshirts, Candle Wax, and Burnt Coffee

Rating: T for language and content

Summary: Ben met Gianna when they were eighteen years old. He asked her to marry him when they were twenty-two. Three weeks later, he took it back and they haven't seen each other since. But one summer is about to change everything.

* * *

"_Half the sum of attraction, on either side, might have been enough, for he had nothing to do, and she had hardly any body to love; but the encounter of such lavish recommendations could not fail. They were gradually acquainted, and when acquainted, rapidly and deeply in love. It would be difficult to say which had seen highest perfection in the other, or which had been the happiest; she, in receiving his declarations and proposals or he in having them accepted."_

_-__Persuasion__ by Jane Austen; Volume I, Chapter IV_

* * *

I met Ben Christianson when we were freshman in college. He sat next to me in Psych 101. We started talking the first day of class when the professor suggested that we exchange contact information with a few people sitting near us in case we missed a class and needed to get homework or notes. By the end of the semester, we were close friends and we were dating by the end of the year. Ben was from a very wealthy family. His dad, James Russell Christianson, owned a large publishing conglomerate. His mom, Adelaide Eliot-Christianson, wrote the national best-seller Late Bloomer as well as several other books. You've probably read Late Bloomer; everyone has read it. Oprah recommended it and now they're making a movie out of it starring Meryl Streep and Hugh Grant. Ben's older sister, Eliot, is an actress-albeit not a very good one-and she's playing a small role in the film version of Late Bloomer. His younger sister, Carissa, is married and has one child; although being that she's five years younger than Ben, she was simply a high school student when we were dating. Beyond her husband and little boy, Carissa is a socialite and a hypochondriac; her doctor could buy a home in Boca off what he makes from her in one year. She drives both of her parents crazy; it's one of the few things that they actually agree upon.

I did not grow up with corporate VPs and great writers. My mom teaches first grade and my dad works as a financial planner. We did well enough. My parents owned their own house-after paying off a thirty-year mortgage. They managed to put all four of their children through college. But we also went without many of the luxuries that the Christianson family takes for granted-like vacations in the Caribbean or Europe or other exotic locales. We don't have a vacation home unless you count a tent or an RV. But we were also a much closer family than the Christiansons. Ben was stunned the first time I brought him home to meet my family and we were all home for dinner. Sophia wasn't there; she was studying abroad in Sweden at the time. But Stella and Isabella were both there. I'm the second of four girls and my dad loves it when we bring guys home to he can watch sport and talk about cars with them.

"My parents avoid eating dinner together unless it will get them good publicity," Ben told me that night. "They do not like family togetherness. Kids are for social status. Eliot, Carissa, and I were raised by nannies. You'll hate my parents. They'll drive you nuts. James and Adelaide are nothing like your family, Gia. They don't like family."

"But they're your parents. How did you end up such a good guy?"

"I had good nannies. And I'm not kidding about that. I had this amazing nanny growing up; her name was Natalia. She was born to be a mother; she has three kids now. But she took such good care of me. I seriously thought she was my mother until I was like seven or eight. And then I hated my real mom. I wanted Natalia to be my real mom and I wanted to go live with her and her husband, Boris. But they said I had to stay with my real parents."

I smiled and laughed. I told him something about being sure that his parents couldn't be that bad. But he was right. I hadn't met them yet. I'm not really sure if I hated them. But I know that they hated me. They did drive me nuts. James and Adelaide were nothing like my family. It was painfully obvious that neither one of them had ever played the alphabet game on a road trip. In fact, I doubt that either one of them has ever been on a road trip. I told them that I wanted to be a doctor. Apparently that was respectable but definitely not worthy of their only son. Ben was going to inherit Kellynch Publishing International, marry a woman of an equally prestigious pedigree, and not spend the rest of his life with a girl whose family owned an RV. Adelaide made it very clear to me that she did not want me in her son's life. Yeah, it's the twenty-first century. We don't do that crap anymore; people marry because of love, not because of social alliances. I've read Late Bloomer and social alliances or social rank never comes into play in that book. I guess her books could never happen in the world in which she exists. They're just fictional stories to her. And that's sad because they're really beautiful stories of love. But I guess that to fall in love with her son, you're supposed to be loaded to the gills with money, pedigree, and vacation homes in St. Tropez. My family is not wealthy; my parents make enough money to afford their house, two cars, the RV, and college tuition for us kids. When I admitted that my sisters and I had all gone to public schools from kindergarten through twelfth grade, Adelaide audibly gasped and a look of horror passed over her face.

At the end of senior year of college, Ben asked me to marry him. We'd been dating for three years, we were in love, and it was time to get married. Sure, I was starting medical school at the University of Michigan but we could make marriage and medical school work. Ben was going to start working for his dad. We'd be able to survive. The only condition that I insisted upon was this: Ben would not pay for my medical schooling. I was not going to take one penny from the Christianson family. Ben agreed to this and we told our families. We were planning on getting married the summer after my first year of medical school. My parents, who loved Ben, were more than willing to pay for our wedding.

James and Adelaide were less than thrilled with our plans. James told Ben that the job at Kellynch publishing was gone if he was going to insist on marrying me. Ben told his father that he could get a job on his own. James told him he could go to hell. And then Ben and I left the Christianson mansion. But when we were back at my apartment, James called his son and told him they needed to talk-immediately. I don't know what James said to Ben or anything that happened. What I do know is that the next day, Ben showed up at my door and asked me for his ring back. He said that we couldn't get married. There was just too much stacked against us; it wasn't a good idea.

* * *

That was six years ago. I'm twenty-eight and in the third year of my residency in pediatrics at C.S. Mott Children's Hospital in Ann Arbor, Michigan. I'm not rich by any means but I'm financially independent. I scrimped my way through medical school and somehow managed to make it out without any loans. That might have had something to do with my grandmother Napolitano; she had wanted to be a nurse when she was younger but she had to go to work right out of high school to earn money to support her family. So when she found out I was going to medical school, she decided to help me out financially as much as she could. And when she died my third year of medical school, she left the bulk of her money to me. Mom said I was Nana's favorite; she's probably right. But now I'm doing all right financially. I also have had barely any social life in the past several years because of work and school. I've dated a couple of guys casually. But dating other medical students while you're in medical school rarely does you any favors. It's pretty much a guaranteed sure-fire way to kill a relationship. You're both just too busy to go on dates. I dated this guy named Reuben for like five months but then we realized that we never went on dates; we just studied for exams together. And so we broke up; we didn't have time for a relationship. Last I heard, he was dating some nurse in neurology but that was two years ago.

I know a few things about Ben's life these days. Some of them come from Kyle Harville, my best friend's husband who also happens to (somewhat awkwardly) be friends with Ben; they're not close but they still get together for drinks every so often. Others come from reading newspapers and magazines or occasionally overhearing something on CNBC when I'm at my parents' house. (My dad always watches CNBC for like five or ten minutes; it's part of being a financial planner but he hates the channel.) I know that Kellynch Publishing has a lot of money problems due to bad investments on James Christianson's part; my dad emailed me this link to a story on CNBC's website about this one day. I also know that Ben no longer works for his father; he has a master's degree in English and is currently teaching high school-at a public school, no less. His mom must love that one. And he's working on his PhD in English; he wants to teach at the collegiate level. Admittedly, the movie version of Late Bloomeris under production. But with Kellynch going under, Adelaide needs to find a new publisher. And no one wants to hire James Christianson's wife; that's just not ethically copacetic as long as Kellynch is still operating. The only money she's making is from the sales of her already-published books. Adelaide has never been very good at handling her finances; she basically spends money when she gets it. And Eliot is still pretty much entirely dependent on her parents. She lives with them and the only money she gets is from the occasional movie job she gets. So, Ben's family is falling to pieces over all of this. And Ben is trying to keep the peace in the family, negotiate his parents' possible divorce, and try to get his family to learn how to economize and save money. I'd bet he's not doing too well with that. Kyle has more than confirmed my suspicions. He's pretty honest with me about what Ben's family is going through.

I don't care that much about that asshole. He broke up with me because of his family. He's a wimp who can't stand up to his family. It's nice to know what's going on with him. And I do hear it from CNBC and Kyle. CNBC is a fabulous way to find out what's up with your ex-boyfriend. I can't really call him my ex-fiancé. We were engaged for three weeks before I gave him back the ring. Three weeks isn't that long; I guess some people get married after three weeks. Didn't Mandy Moore do that? But honestly, I dated Ben for three years, we were engaged for three weeks, and now, we haven't spoken in ages. Kyle thinks that it's better that way. He's afraid I'd just blow up at Ben if I ever had to talk to him again. I'd rather just freeze him out forever. I know what's going on his life. I express concern about his family when I'm talking to Kyle. I was nice to him when we were both at Kyle and Jenna's wedding. I was the maid of honor; he was just another guest. We were both civil; I never spoke to him. I had a date; he didn't. It was all lovely.

I have two weeks off from work this summer and I'm going to visit my sister, Sophia, and her husband, Karl, at their new summer home. They're renting it from some wealthy family that's having major money problems right now. It'll be nice to just have two weeks with Sophia and Karl. I can spend time at the beach and not think about kids throwing up all over me. I can just relax, not worry about anyone's problems, and just sleep. I don't sleep enough when I'm working twenty hour shifts; and I do that too often.

The way my residency works is that I work in a regular pediatrician's office three days a week and then I'm at the hospital the other two. And I work at the hospital every other Saturday. I work a lot. But that's part of being a resident. Someday I'll be free of all of this. Sophia is always telling me I need to free myself from the oppression of the man; she's a bit of a New Age freak. Okay, she's not a freak. But she's always freaking out about some new mineral or herbal cure that will save us all from Al Gore and the Internet. She loves organic food. It's good stuff but it's expensive and I can't afford it. Yes, I can afford to have an apartment with only one roommate. There are a lot of things I can afford. But I have to be careful with my money. I don't make much and I have bills to pay. I need to eat and put clothes on my back. I didn't get lucky and marry some gorgeous and totally loaded German artist. My sister met this amazing German artist named Karl Zimmer while she was in Sweden. His dad owns some major corporation and Karl never wants for anything. So he and my sister got married a few years ago and they travel around the world being artistic. He is a painter; she writes for _Newsweek_. They get to see the world. I doubt that I'll have any nieces or nephews from them anytime soon. But they're happy, very happy. I think that counts for something. Sometimes, I wonder if Ben and I would have been happy together. But then I brush him from my mind and go back to trying to analyze two-year-olds who are vomiting and have a temperature of 104 degrees Fahrenheit.

* * *

"When are you coming?" Sophia whined into the phone. "I miss you. It's so dreadfully boring up here. There's so much scope for the imagination but all Karl wants to do is paint. He doesn't want to go sit on the dock and talk. He tells me to shut up and leave him alone."

"Don't you have neighbors to bother?" I asked her as I set my keys down on the kitchen counter and then put my two blue reusable Meijer shopping bags next to them. Then I had my hands free and I could pay more attention to my chattering older sister-while unloading my groceries.

"There's a large family vacationing up here and they're great, absolutely wonderful. There's Mike and Karen; they have five children. Their oldest, Nolan, is married and has a son of his own. And then they have twins, Chris and Logan, who are in their late twenties and very friendly. And then they have two younger children; I think they're in high school. Oh, and Nolan's wife's brother is with them. He's very busy working on his doctoral thesis. We haven't even met him yet."

"I'll be there on Saturday. I still have to work the next few days. And on Friday, I'm going with Kyle to his parents' house. They're having a small get-together."

"Oh, it's been a year since Allyson died, hasn't it?"

"Yeah, they wanted to do something small. I think it's just going to be Kyle, Jenna, their kids, Connor, his girlfriend, and Katelyn. And I'll be there. It's just a family thing."

"Will Josh be there?"

"It's a family thing, Sofe. Of course Josh will be there; he's there for Christmas. I forgot; I just always include him with family members."

"Well, you listed off Connor, Kyle, and Katelyn."

"And I forgot Josh. I'm sorry." Josh Cole had been dating Kyle's younger sister, Allyson, for years. They'd gotten engaged about a year and a half earlier; then three months later, Allyson died in a car accident leaving her family and Josh shaken. Josh had never had much of a family and had really bonded with the Harville family while dating Ally. After she died, his heart had been broken and he'd moved in with his dead fiancée's family. Now, a year later, he was living with Kyle. He was still struggling to deal with life on a daily basis and at times, he drove both Jenna and Kyle nuts.

* * *

I got to Uppercross, Michigan around noon on Saturday. I'd left Ann Arbor around eight in the morning. Friday night had been good. Josh was sad, but the rest of the Harvilles were much more hopeful. As Kyle told me, "Ally is in a better place. It sucks for us that she's gone but I know she's happier where she is."

Connor said, "At some point, you just have to move on with your life. Ally wouldn't want us to sit around moping for the rest of our lives."

But Josh wanted his lost Ally back. I know he needed to move on but I didn't know how to help him. I'm a pediatrician, not a psychologist; my office has someone else on staff for that one. Josh needed a pediatrician and not the one from my office; he only works with kids. But Kyle's dad is a psychologist. Okay, Josh probably shouldn't see his dead fiancée's dad; they're too closely related. But he should see someone.

Anyway, I got to my sister's house in time for lunch. I recognized her summer cottage the minute I saw it. This house-I'd been there before. Karl and Sophia were renting Ben's family's summer house. Oh how the mighty have fallen! Ben brought me here the summer before our senior year of college; his parents were in Paris all summer with his sisters so we got it to ourselves for most of the summer. I'd love that summer. It had been the best summer of my life-until the asshole gave in to his precious family and dumped me because of my family. Oh Sophia, you have no clue where you've brought me.

"Gia!" my sister squealed running out her front door before I was even out of the car. "You're here! You're finally here."

"Hey, Sofe," I said, climbing out of my car and hugging her. "How goes it?"

"Fabulous, now that you're here," she replied, kissing both of my cheeks. "We need to get you some lunch-have you eaten? Karl and I are making a Greek salad with fresh bread for lunch. And we have fresh-squeezed lemonade. But after lunch, you need to get changed and then we'll hit the beach. And you've got to meet the Crosses; you'll love them. I've told them all about you. But we still haven't met Carissa's brother yet. He must be really busy. He was the thing for Ally last night? How is Josh holding up?"

"Sophia, slow down and let your poor sister breath," Karl said emerging from the house in blue jeans and a tight black t-shirt; he never wears shoes unless he has to. "Gia will be here for two weeks. You don't need to tell her everything right away. She just spent four hours alone in a car."

"But I missed my sister!"

My brother-in-law rolled his eyes, gave me a hug, and quickly kissed my cheek. "Welcome, Gianna; we're glad you're here. Come in. I'll put your things in your room. Just relax and don't let Sophia talk your ear off."

I grinned; I really love him. "Thanks, Karl. Just let me pop my trunk for you."

"That sounds great."

* * *

Thirty minutes later, I was curled up in a deck chair wearing shorts and a tank-top. I had a glass of lemonade, some Greek salad, and the bread Karl had made. "The deck has a great view of the lake," Sophia told me as she sat down next to me. "Karl loves to just sit here and paint."

"You should see the sunsets over the lake," he told me. "You'll want to take pictures of them forever."

I smiled. That deck does have amazing views of sunset but I wasn't quite ready to admit that I'd been here before.

"We're going to the Crosses' for dinner tonight," Sophia announced. "It's a barbecue. They can't wait to meet you. So you have to look cute."

"She might as well start a fan club for you," Karl told me. "She's always talking about you. Gia, I think you're Sophia's favorite subject."

I laughed as my sister protested, "But I love my sister!"

"Do you talk about Stella and Isabella this much?" I asked her.

"No, but you're my favorite."

"I know. And Stella and Isa aren't visiting you this summer."

"Lame," she replied taking a bite of salad.

Karl and I both laughed. That was typical Sophia. I love my older sister to death but she is just a chatterbox and very open with her emotions. Isabella is like that too. Stella and I are more reserved. Ben often commented on it when he visited my family. But I was used to it. Sophia and I had shared a bedroom since I was born. Stella and Isa had shared the other bedroom. And we four girls all shared a bathroom. Mornings in our house were just a little hectic. Thankfully, Stella is three years younger than me and Isa is five years younger than me. So they weren't as interested in the bathroom when Sophia and I were in high school. Sophia was always in the bathroom for almost an hour in the morning; she probably still is but I haven't shared a bathroom with her since she graduated from college and married Karl.

* * *

Ben wasn't at dinner that night. His nephew wasn't feeling well, so he stayed home to take care of him. But I got to meet the rest of the Cross family. The twins really were attractive. They were identical; thank God. We've had some problems at the hospital with staff members confusing identical twins. Chris was tall and thin with light brown hair and blue eyes. Logan, meanwhile, was tall but broader-chested with brown eyes and very dark brown hair, almost as dark as my own very Italian hair. But they were both very good-looking. Chris was more reserved, quieter; he was a fourth-grade teacher. Logan was louder, much more outgoing, and definitely very flirtatious.

Chris was really friendly, easy-going, and fun to talk to. The whole family was really great. Carissa was whiny, mopey, and attention-seeking-the same girl she'd been years earlier. She doesn't remember me, but we'd barely met three or four times. Nolan was a great guy-really friendly. He and I spent a long time talking about the American health-care system; he's a physician's assistant and understood a lot about what I do. Logan teased me relentlessly about being a "money-grubbing sawbones." He still works at Starbucks because he has no idea what he wants to do with his life. And he's twenty-seven. He might need to grow up. But he's fun to be around. And I should start thinking about find The Guy. I'm twenty-eight years old; there is no reason other than the fact that I'm lame and pathetic that I'm still single. I've just been too busy to deal with a relationship. But I think I could handle one now. I'm over Ben. I'm not quite sure what the heck he's doing here of all places. I guess he must be visiting his sister or something. But I thought Kyle said he was living with his parents while he was working on his PhD. Maybe his plans changed. Maybe he realized just how annoying his parents are. Who knows? I stopped knowing what was going on Ben Christianson's life the day he came to my apartment and said, "I'm really sorry about this, Gianna. But after talking with my dad last night, I've realized that there's just too much against us. My parents aren't going to back down and that really scares me. So while I used to say I'd never be the asshole who did this, I'm going to have to ask you for your ring back. We can't be engaged anymore, Gia; we just can't. We can't be together. My parents are pushing against me and I can't handle it. It's never been this bad before. They told me-I can't do this, Gia. I can't. We can't get married; it's just not a good idea."

I can't remember exactly what I said to him but I know I threw the ring at him and told him to go to hell. But like I said, I can't remember exactly what I said. I was angry and it was six years ago. He broke my heart. You can't just forgive that.

* * *

A/N: Please review. I promise Ben will appear shortly. I want to know what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I don't own Persuasion. And I really appreciate the reviews. I have to tell you that one of the reasons I decided to write this story is that I've always wanted to tell this story from Frederick's perspective. But I feel that I am not an effective writer when trying to write from a male perspective. Thusly, I am writing Frederick's part as a female and Anne's part as a male.

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Chapter Two

* * *

My plan for my two weeks in Uppercross was to spend the entire time on the beach, reading and relaxing. Maybe I'd engage in a little harmless, reckless flirting with the Cross twins. But I was just going to relax and ignore Ben. No ex-boyfriend from my past was going to ruin my first real vacation in seven or eight years. And I didn't care who he saw me with or what he saw me doing. He broke my heart; he didn't have any right to pine over me or judge me. I could do what I wanted. And so could he. If he wanted to marry some fancy heiress, he could do that. I just wanted to ignore him as much as possible during the next two weeks. I hadn't wanted him coming back into my life right now. I would have preferred if I could have told him to eat shit and die six years ago and then never see him again.

I saw Ben for the first time the day after I arrived. Nolan and Carissa had invited us all over for Sunday brunch, so his presence was almost guaranteed. I wasn't looking forward to seeing him but at the same time I was pretty sure I could avoid him easily. There would be plenty of people. If necessary, I would acknowledge him and then proceed to ignore him. I just didn't want to have to play nice with a guy who had once broken my heart. But I had promised my sister and the Crosses that I'd show up for brunch. So at twelve o'clock promptly, I followed my sister and brother-in-law into Nolan and Carissa's cottage.

But when I first woke up, Sophia was out on the dock doing yoga. "I found the local Mass schedule online," Karl told me when I came down for breakfast after showering. "St. Andrew's has a ten-thirty. If you want, we could go to that."

"Sure," I said as I plugged the hot pot in. I always drink tea because Sophia always burns the coffee. "Will Sofe be coming with us?"

My brother-in-law shrugged. "I'll ask her; she's in the shower right now. I never know with her. They always say that artists constantly fight against the establishment and writers are better adjusted to the real world. But they have your sister and I confused. Sophia is the free-spirit flower child and I'm much more-how do you say? I follow the rules."

I smiled. "Sometimes I wonder how she's related to Stella, Isa, and me. I'm a doctor, Stella is a lawyer, and Isa's an accountant."

"And Sophia is a vegetarian yoga-loving writer who has thrown out the rules by which her parents raised her."

"You forgot that she's obsessed with Disney movies."

He laughed. "She is. But she's still thrown out her parents' rules."

"She still goes to Mass occasionally. Mom and Dad approve of that."

Karl laughed. "And she swears whenever she wants. Your parents never would allow that in their house."

"Well, lucky for her, she doesn't live there anymore."

"That's probably a good thing."

* * *

After Mass, we went to brunch at Nolan and Carissa's house. Like I said, we got there at twelve o'clock promptly. That's Karl for you; he's a really regimented person, for an artist. And we finally met Carissa's mysterious and elusive brother who also happens to be my ex-boyfriend, Benjamin James Christianson. Chris and Logan were playing video games while Ben was taking care of Nolan and Carissa's son. Nolan was cooking up a storm in the kitchen and Carissa was fussing and worrying about three-year-old Jayden. "He's so little and he has a fever. He just looks so weak. Should we take him to the hospital?"

"Carissa, calm down," Ben told his younger sister. "His fever is only 100 degrees. That's not much above normal. He just needs to rest for a couple days and he'll be fine."

"My baby could die," she shrieked. "My baby could die and no one would care."

"Hey, Rissa," Chris said. "Here's an idea. Gianna is a pediatrician. Have her take a look at Jayden."

"Gianna," she said slowly as if she was thinking over a foreign idea. "That's a good idea. Gianna, can you please come look at my baby please?"

"Sure thing," I said walking over the window-seat that had been turned into a bed for the little guy. Ben was seated next to his nephew, arranging the blankets around the little guy. Jayden Cross was small and pale. And he looked very tired; I'd be tired too if I was sick and my mom kept shrieking about how I was going to die. "Hey buddy," I said getting down on my knees by him. "I'm Dr. Gianna. Your mommy tells me you're not feeling so great."

"My throat hurts," he moaned. "And my tummy feels bad. I threw up all over Uncle Ben last night."

"I bet that wasn't any fun."

"Uncle Ben didn't get mad. Mommy would have been mad."

I touched his forehead and nodded. He was warm but not too warm. "I don't think your mommy would have been mad."

"No, she doesn't like it when I make a mess. She says it's bad. But Uncle Ben says it isn't my fault."

"He's right," I told the little guy. Then I looked up at his mom. "Carissa, I'd like to take his temperature to be sure. But it looks like he just has a minor flu bug. He should be fine in a couple of days."

"Don't you want to run some blood tests or something?"

Ben sighed audibly. "Rissa, she's a doctor. Trust her. She knows what she's saying."

"Oh man, Ben, you haven't been introduced to Gianna yet," Logan yelled from the couch and his Halo game.

"Oh right," Carissa said suddenly and turned into the model hostess. "Gianna, this is my brother, Ben Christianson. Ben, this is Gianna Napolitano. She's a doctor."

"We've met before," I said quickly, not wanting to spend any more time with Ben than was necessary. "Ben and I went to Michigan at the same time and had some classes together when we were freshman."

"Her best friend dated one of my roommates," Ben added.

"Which roommate?" Carissa asked eagerly as I tried to slip away from them.

"Is her friend hot?" Logan asked eagerly.

"Kyle Harville," was all Ben said. Yeah, it's not a good idea to comment on whether or not your ex-girlfriend's best friend is hot-especially when said best friend is married to your friend and is pregnant with their third child.

"Didn't he get married a couple of years ago?" his sister asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Kyle married my best friend, Jenna."

"I love weddings," my sister sighed. "Karl, do you remember our wedding?"

I laughed as my brother-in-law rolled his eyes. "It was my wedding, honey. I'm not going to forget it."

"It was a great wedding," Sophia said with a sappy smile that is induced by talking about her wedding, talking about cute boys, and watching chick flicks. "We were so happy."

"Are we not happy now?" Karl asked.

"You're so silly," she cooed as I laughed.

"Does Nolan need any help in the kitchen?" I asked wanting to get away from Ben.

His wife shrugged disinterestedly. "I don't know. Go ask him yourself." Six years, marriage, and a child had not changed Carissa Christianson-Cross. She was still attention-seeking, needy, and self-absorbed. And physically she was still the short, thin brunette with big blue eyes and a crooked nose about which she constantly complained. I'd recognized her the minute I saw her the night before and then I knew that the mysterious brother of whom my sister constantly talked was Ben, my ex-boyfriend.

* * *

So I went to the kitchen to help Nolan, who did indeed need help. He loved cooking but he was a bit overwhelmed making brunch for about fifteen people by himself. I set the table and then found myself making biscuits and then the bacon. Eggs, sausage, and pancakes were keeping Nolan plenty busy. Nolan Cross, who begrudgingly admitted to being named after the retired Texas Rangers pitcher Nolan Ryan and his father's baseball obsession, was a quiet man but a good person. He was of average height, medium build, with light brown hair and blue eyes. He was nothing extraordinary, just an ordinary guy. You probably never would have noticed him if you passed him on the street. He was a very average, nondescript person. But he was genuinely concerned about his wife and his son. "Carissa babies Jayden," he told me. "She worries over his every little problem. And you can see that it bothers him."

"He told me that she would have gotten mad at him if she had thrown up all over her," I admitted.

Nolan nodded. "That's my wife for you. I love her but she is very materialistic. It comes from her family. The Christiansons are extremely wealthy and neither of her parents has strong parenting skills. They gave their children whatever shut them up as children."

I nodded, not wanting to reveal my personal experiences of the Christianson family. I also supposed that it couldn't be easy being married to Carissa. She was a very needy, clingy woman. I vaguely recalled something about her being a hypochondriac but I couldn't remember any details about that. So I just stirred biscuit batter and listened to him talk about his family. He loved his son; that was immediately obvious. And Jayden was a cute little kid. He probably was one of the most spoiled little kids I've ever met but he was adorable. And his uncles are awesome guys. By uncles, I mean his dad's brothers; we're not talking about his mom's brother. He might be good with little kids but he's still the asshole who dumped me for no real reason other than the fact that he's a pathetic wimp.

I think that most girls who have had their hearts broken would dearly love to hurt the man that did to them. You want him to know how you feel; I've wanted Ben to know what he did to me for ages. I want him to feel the pain and misery that I felt the day he asked me to give him back his ring. I've known many people who have suffered heartbreak. Josh Cole still hadn't recovered from losing Allyson Harville. In high school, one of my best friends fell hard for her biology lab partner; Katie and David got to be so close, became such good friends. Naturally, she was falling in love with him. And all the while, he was falling in love with Norah who sat in front of them. Katie got her heart broken when David asked Norah to go to our junior prom with him-all the while knowing that Katie was interested in him. Six months later, David found it in himself to apologize to Katie for what he'd done. They worked things out and became friends, good friends. He started dating Norah and Katie started dating another guy, who was in college and was her older brother's friend. Occasionally, David, Norah, Katie, and Luke would double-date. It was awkward for Norah but the other three loved it; Luke and David became friends, good friends. And then, during our freshman year of college, David and Norah broke up; he was going to the University of Michigan and she was at USC. Neither one of them was truly prepared for a long distance relationship. And they realized that they were not meant to be together. Katie and Luke stayed together for a much longer time but they eventually broke up the summer after our junior year of college. And then, the summer after our senior year of college, David and Katie started dating. They got married a few years later and Luke was in the wedding party. But most girls don't get a David Gilbert. Most guys aren't David; they don't look back and realize that they were assholes. I didn't get a David Gilbert; I got a Ben Christianson.

The problem with the Ben Christiansons of the world is that unlike David, they won't realize that they're being assholes. They won't come back and apologize for what they've done. They might be better looking. They might have the sensitive blue eyes and stunning dark brown hair. They might be the best kissers you've ever met. Heck, they might be stinking loaded and able to buy you whatever you want. But they're missing something. There is a certain air of nobility to David that Ben will never accomplish. But I didn't get to date David; I wasn't really interested in him. I dated Ben. I got my heart broken and no apology. Six years later, all I have is a box in my closet labeled "Ben Christianson" filled with pictures and letters, dried flowers, a mixed CD or five, some old hooded sweatshirts he loaned me, and candles from a vigil we went to on September 11, 2001. I have a lot of memories and a lot of anger and resentment. Katie Joseph-Gilbert has memories, an apology, a husband, and a baby daughter. She got the better deal. I'd rather have a David Gilbert or Kyle Harville. Ben might be better looking but dear Lord, as a human being he's nothing compared to the gentlemen that my friends married.

* * *

I sat across the table from Ben during brunch that Sunday. It wasn't planned; we both just ended up sitting where no one else wanted to sit. We were with Carissa who was constantly running out to check on Jayden who had fallen asleep. Logan and Chris, as well as their parents, were very curious about my life, so I was answering whatever questions I was asked. My sister and Karl were also being interrogated. But I was fresh meat, so therefore very much more interesting. Their mother wanted to know if I had a boyfriend and when I replied in the negative, she was eager to offer me Chris and Logan as options. "They're both single," she told me proudly. "I can't see why."

I smiled and was mildly pleased to see that Ben frowned. He wouldn't want to see me with anyone else. Well, he was a big boy and he would have to learn to handle disappointment. Just because he threw me away that didn't mean I would be single for the rest of my life. Just because I wasn't good enough for him didn't mean that no other man alive would ever desire me. I've only improved with age; or at least, that's what Sophia tells me. But she's my sister; sisters have to say certain things.

"Tell us about your old boyfriends," Logan said. "How many guys have you dated?"

I saw pain flash across Ben's face at that moment. "I'm not the sort of girl who kisses and tells," I replied. "And anyway, I'm a resident and I spent four years in medical school. When have I had time to date in the past six years?"

"Oh come on," he protested. "What are you, a nun? You've got to have had some action. Six years is a long time to be single."

I shrugged. "I don't kiss and tell."

I saw Ben smile approvingly at that as if he was comforted in the knowledge that I wouldn't expose him as the asshole that had ripped my heart out of my chest and thrown it to the lions six years earlier. Perhaps he felt some sort of remorse for it. Or maybe he just didn't want to be embarrassed in front of these people. Whatever his fears or reasons his secret was safe with me. I'm not the type to kiss and tell. I didn't see what business it was of Logan's to know my dating history; I'd just met him the night before. But I suppose that some could argue that it is enough time to build a relationship. Romeo and Juliet fell in love in one night and were killing themselves in less than a week. I've never seen the romance in that story. They were teenagers who ended up killing themselves because they were in love with someone they'd met a few days earlier. That's not romantic; that's just plain ridiculous.

"What's the most exciting thing you've done in your life?" Chris asked.

"After my grandfather died, I went to Italy with my grandmother to visit the town where her parents were born. We spent three amazing weeks just exploring this little town in the mountains north of Rome. And then we went to Florence, Rome, and Milan. It was heaven."

"And they didn't take me," Sophia said.

"Yeah, you go to Europe at least twice a year," I told her. "Your husband is from Germany. I never have any reason to go to Europe. My exciting adventures are to Chicago for medical conferences."

"That's lame," Logan said. "You should go to medical conferences in the Bahamas or Cancun or something."

I smiled and shook my head. "They generally don't have medical conferences in the Bahamas or Cancun for pediatricians. Those are for cardiologists and neurologists, people who do more dramatic things than diagnose the flu or something like that."

"Don't you ever work with blood?"

"I get kids with bloody noses sometimes. During flu season, I get a lot of bodily fluids that you don't want to talk about when you're eating. Sophia will have a pretty violent reaction if I mention them."

"I have a fragile stomach," my sister protested. "I'm a very delicate person."

Karl rolled his eyes and I shook my head. I was pretty sure that Carissa had a "fragile stomach" as well. My sister was the type who freaked out while watching _Grey's Anatomy_. Years ago, Karl, Isa, Stella, and I had been watching _Braveheart_ together when Sofe wandered in. She happened to come in during a scene involving the princess and had become interested in the movie…until a battle scene began; then she bolted for the bathroom. Carissa was probably worse than that. She just struck me as the very feminine, dramatic, weak-stomached type. She would have fit into a BBC period piece perfectly. I could be the girly-girl when I wanted. But I also liked being able to hold my own in a room of men. I wanted to be more than just a silly giggly girl who fainted at the sight of blood. I'd never been that girl who fainted at the sight of blood. I remained calm as long as necessary. Ben couldn't even claim that. Blood didn't scare him but it bothered him.

* * *

"Tell me about your life," Logan said as we sat on the beach together later that day, watching the sunset.

I smoothed my skirt and shrugged. "I was born in 1981; I'm the second of four girls. I went to the University of Michigan for undergrad and then Wayne State University for medical school. And now I'm doing my residency in pediatrics. In two years, I'll be free to go into private practice. I've been in Ann Arbor most of my life and I love it there."

"Okay but there has to be more to you than that. Are you just a doctor or is there more to your life than being a sawbones?"

I sighed; I hate being called a sawbones. I'm not a surgeon; I don't saw bones or anything like that. "I'm a workaholic. I spend most of my day at work or dealing with things related to work."

"Don't you have a social life?"

"I have friends."

He leaned his head into his hand and looked up at me. "So tell me about your friends. What do you all do together?"

"Most of my friends are married and have kids," I told him. "So my life is really sedate. Occasionally Sophia or someone tries to set me up on a blind date and it ends up as an epic failure."

"Why?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I guess I'm not really the blind date girl. Blind dates are so awkward and I hate awkwardness."

"Oh come on!" the boy next to me protested. "Awkward first dates are amazing. You actually get to know the person."

"Most of the girls I know won't eat pasta or hamburgers or anything else messy on a first date. They want to make a good impression."

"Hey, that's a good idea. My friends and I say you can't burp in front of the chick until the fourth date."

"I just want a real relationship," I said. "I want to be with a guy who doesn't mind burping and farting and laughs when I spill ketchup on my white sundress."

"And so do I. But I don't want that on a first date. I want to see what she's like on her best behavior, being all proper."

"Nah, you get that when you bring them home to meet your folks. They're so terrified of your mom and dad that they sit up perfectly straight and act like they're meeting the president or the Pope. But I want comfort on a first date. I'd rather date a friend than some random stranger. I had a friend in college date a guy she met in Target. Now that might seem romantic to some but I'd rather just have a friendship develop into a relationship."

"You're weird."

"Oh thanks," I replied rolling my eyes. Karl and I both roll our eyes a lot; it comes from spending a lot of time around Sofe or something like that. Maybe it comes from the fact that neither one of us takes ourselves very seriously so we get annoyed when other people either take us too seriously or take themselves too seriously. Logan is really laid-back but I feel like he's taking me really seriously.

"What if you ruin a perfectly good friendship by dating the person?" he asked. "You guys date but then you break up and you ruin this great friendship. What would you do?"

"If it ruins the friendship, then the friendship wasn't that strong to begin with."

"What if he cheats on you?"

"Then he was never worthy of my friendship in the first place. If he would betray one of his friends, then he was no true friend. I want to marry a man who can be both my friend and my lover. I want him to be someone I can trust completely with everything."

"And where are you going to find this guy? You're living in a dream world filled with fairy tale princes."

I shook my head and sighed. "There still are guys like that around. There just aren't very many of them."

"What's wrong with a normal guy? Why are you demanding so much out of guys? I like being a guy but I don't want to feel like my girlfriend is pressuring me to bring her flowers or open doors for her. I want to be more independent of her."

"Then why are you dating her if you want to be independent of her? Doesn't that seem a little redundant?"

"What do you mean?"

"Okay, so you want to be independent but you want a girlfriend."

"You can have both."

"But what if you're with a girl who wants something more serious? What would you do if your girlfriend started dropping hints about marriage?"

"Run," Logan replied. "I'm twenty-seven years old. I've got plenty of life ahead of me. I don't need marriage or that shit tying me down right now. I mean, dude, I've got to fight for my right to party."

Oh have mercy; he's quoting the Beastie Boys now. What am I doing right now? I'm sitting on a beach listening to Dick's Sporting Goods manager explain his life philosophy to me. And his philosophers were the Beastie Boys. I need to reevaluate my life. Where is Chris? He seems more responsible, more mature. I can't be involved with an immature kid right now. I'm an adult. I need an adult relationship. I spend my days working with sick kids. I need adult conversation in my life. I'm twenty-eight, not eight. Logan can refuse to grow up but I can't. I'm an adult and I need adult relationships. I'm a doctor; I'm not a five year old. I don't play games. I've been in a mature relationship before and I want to be in one again. But Ben was a long time ago. And there hadn't been anyone serious since Ben.

"Do you smoke?" Logan asks, interrupting my inner-monologue.

"Nope," I replied. "I'm a doctor and I'm allergic to all forms of smoke."

"That has got to suck. I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't just blow off some steam with a couple of smokes. It's just so freeing."

I shrugged. "I hate the smell of cigarettes," I told him simply. "It doesn't really bother me."

"But how do you release your stress?"

"Cooking, baking," I replied. "I find ways. I like to crochet. I talk to my friends."

"What about your boyfriend? Do you talk to him when you're stressed?"

"My boyfriend?" I asked. "I don't have one."

"Oh come on! A sexy, sophisticated doctor, you've got to have a boyfriend. If you were on _Grey's Anatomy_, you'd have a boyfriend like Patrick Dempsey."

"Do you watch that show?" I asked him.

"Oh, no," he said quickly. "But I've dated a lot of girls who watch it. And sometimes Carissa watches it or my mom or Danielle or Cassie will have it on when I'm in the living room."

I nodded but I was a little skeptical of him. He was pushy and I don't like pushy. I'm not high-maintenance and I can't handle guys who are high-maintenance. I'm a workaholic; when do I have time for a pushy boyfriend? But he seems like he could be controlled. And he's fun; I need a fun guy in my life. I have good guys in my life but no FUN guys in my life. I need someone who is random and sporadic and crazy and chaotic. It would just spice up my life. I can't handle a high-maintenance relationship. But I could do something fun. I know it doesn't make sense. I want to get married but I don't want high-maintenance and I want fun. Maybe I'm confused. I just want to be with someone who won't stress me out or drive me insane. I don't want an immature guy but I want someone fun. I don't want a boring relationship; I need excitement. But I also need someone who understands that I am a workaholic and I'm busy. Medicine demands eighty hours of my time every week and there are only one-hundred sixty-eight hours in a week. If I have to sleep for at least six hours every night, then I only have forty-six hours of freedom every week. And I spend far too much of that time figuring things like that out. I really need to get a life.

* * *

A/N: Please review! I really appreciate the encouragement and insight you guys have.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I appreciate reviewers to say the very least. And I don't own Persuasion.

* * *

Chapter Three

* * *

I quickly realized that Carissa had the most obnoxious voice in the world. She has this nasally drawl that is kind of Midwestern and kind of not. It's really hard to listen to and actually kind of painful. And she insists on talking constantly. Every time I'm within ten feet of her she starts talking about all of Jayden's health problems or her (nonexistent) weight problems or her marriage troubles or her (desperate) need for a nose job. I'm glad I didn't marry her brother; I'd be stuck spending Christmas with her for the rest of my life. Two weeks out of my summer will be enough. "It's fine that Ben and Nolan are friends but I really don't get why my brother just had to marry Ben's sister," Logan told me on Monday morning while we were walking to the beach to play Frisbee. "Ben is nothing like the rest of his family. He's all down to earth and friendly. He's a great guy and really fun to be around. But Carissa is awful. She's a waste of space if you ask me. She never stops nagging or bitching or moaning or whining. She's never happy. God, she makes me want to kill myself."

I smiled. "She can't be that bad."

He shook his head. "You don't know Carissa; I grew up down the street from her. She's impossible. She's a hypochondriac and she's always making up diseases for herself. She's always telling people that she has cancer or that Nolan wants a divorce or something like that. It's not bad enough that she thinks these things but then she says them out loud. I swear there has to be something wrong with her."

"I feel bad for her. She's lonely and she just wants attention."

"I agree she wants attention but I'm sure as hell not giving it to her. She's so pathetic. My god, she just never stops whining about how sick she is or she has no friends or she wishes she had someone who listened to her. Like yesterday, she was bitching about how no one would care if Jayden died. I'd care if he died; he's my nephew. But I wouldn't care if she died. Then we'd all be free of her."

"That isn't cool," I said. "She's your brother's wife. You shouldn't want her dead."

"But she's so annoying. God, get a sense of humor. We've got to get rid of the annoying people and make life more fun."

I sighed. "Logan, you can't just eliminate people because they're annoying. There's no universal standard as to what is annoying."

He ran a hand through his shaggy hair and sighed. "We could have an international committee or something that decides what is annoying."

"And what would happen if they decided you were annoying?"

"That's impossible. I'm amazing. How could anyone find me annoying?"

Oh dear lord, please tell me that this is some sort of an act. How on earth can anyone really live like this? Is Logan really this shallow? This has got to be an act. No man would ever really act like this. He's twenty-seven years old. He went to college. He can't be this immature. I was convinced that this had to be an act. He was self-centered and immature but it had to be an act. There has to be something more to this guy. He has to be more than a self-centered pretty face and an

"Hey, Ben, do you want to play Frisbee with us?" Logan asked his brother's brother-in-law as we walked past Nolan and Carissa's cottage. Ben was sitting on the front porch with his laptop and a pile of books and papers. His black-rimmed glasses were perched on his nose and he was intently studying a book while occasionally penciling notes in the book or typing something on his black Mac Book.

"No thanks, Logan," Ben replied. "I'd love to play but I've got to get this draft emailed to my advisor in half an hour and it's nowhere near ready."

"Workaholic," Logan muttered as we kept walking towards the beach where we were meeting Chris, Nolan, and their younger sisters.

"He procrastinates," I muttered to myself.

"Huh? You know him?"

"When we were in college, our roommates dated each other and then they got married a couple of years ago. We spent a fair bit of time around each other but didn't know each other that well. I'm not sure I would have recognized him if Carissa hadn't told me who he was." Okay, that was an outright lie; Ben hadn't changed much in the past six years. But Logan doesn't need to know that one of the more substantial changes to Ben's physical appearance is a scar on his jaw line that took me several minutes of close examination to find. But it is there! And his face has matured wonderfully, but Logan does not need to know these sorts of things.

"Are you serious? Wow, I didn't realize you actually knew him. I thought your roommates just hooked up once or something."

"No, Kyle and Jenna are married and they have two kids with a third on the way."

Logan shook his head. "That's crazy. I can't imagine having three kids."

"I want at least five," I told him impulsively, more to see his reaction than any sincere desire for more than four children. I'm one of four kids and I think it was great for all of us. I'm glad that my parents had four of us. It made life more exciting. Life would be so much more boring if I didn't have Sophia in my life. Who else in the world would wake me up at dawn to go look at the fish in the lake and then jump into the lake fully dressed just for fun? Or who would make me blueberry pancakes for dinner on a whim because she thought that "seeing blood all day might get boring"? Plus, she's my older sister so if she wasn't here, I wouldn't be here. I love all three of my sisters and I wouldn't trade them for the world.

"No way, I'm never having kids. They're cute and all but I'm not much for responsibility. You can ask anyone who knows me. I'm really irresponsible. One time, Nolan asked me to watch Jayden for like half an hour or so and the little guy broke his arm."

"I hear people tend to be more protective of their own kids than they do of other people's kids."

He rolled his eyes and raised his eyebrows. "That's a load of horseshit. If I had kids, I'd be just as much of an asshole as I am with other people's kids. I just don't like being responsible for anybody else. I'm lazy. Why should I bust my butt? I like my job. I'd like to make more money but I'm lazy. I could do something more but I'm lazy."

"I'm a doctor," I told him. "And I do it for the kids. I don't do it for the money."

"But you've got to admit that there is some serious money in being a sawbones."

"Can you please stop calling me that?" I asked. "I'm not a surgeon. They saw bones. I'm just a pediatrician. I deal with little kids who barf and parents who worry all day long. I'm not a hero and I'm not in it for money."

"Oh come on, Gianna, the money has got to be a nice benefit to it all. I mean, when kids are puking all over you, don't you just think about the fact that you're getting rich off of it?"

I shook my head and looked at him. "You say that you don't want to move up in life but you're talking about how I should take advantage of people who have sick little kids. I'm not materialistic."

"Me neither," he replied. "I like to think of myself as a rock-climbing surfing beach-bum hippie."

"Wow," I said. "I think of myself as a doctor who cares about her patients."

"See, you're a doctor; you're a sawbones."

He's gorgeous but obnoxious. Thankfully, we arrived at the beach just then and I didn't have to listen to him. All of this should have triggered my red flags but it didn't. I should have realized that Logan wasn't what I was looking for but I didn't. I was too busy enjoying the attention and the quality time with a cute boy. I'm a sucker for sexy eyes. I don't care what color they are. Logan's eyes are stunning blue. Chris has brown eyes. Karl has amazing green eyes; Sophia says that was the first thing she ever noticed about him. Ben has amazingly sensitive blue eyes but he wears his glasses a lot. But he was sexy with glasses on. He is one sexy asshole. Unfortunately, I'm not much for assholes. I need to find someone who actually loves me and respects me. Respect is a really big thing for me. I've always felt that Ben and his family had zero respect for me and that's always pissed me off. I want to be with a guy who respects me. And I want a guy whose family respects me and sees me as a human being.

* * *

While I'm not very good at it, I love playing Frisbee although Ben is the one who introduced me to it. He loves playing the game; okay, he loved it in college. I don't know if he's still into it. It's been six years and he turns down the opportunity to play today. I know he's probably busy with his thesis but it's Frisbee; he used to drop everything for this game. He never skipped classes but he definitely procrastinated on homework for Frisbee. But Ben was always procrastinating. He's also a genius at writing papers the night before they're due. I envied him that ability. And at times, I almost hated him for it. I would spend days working on papers and he could spit them out in a few hours. All he needed was some coffee or Red Bull and a few hours along with his laptop and he had the perfect paper. And he got really good grades on these papers when I would spend hours on papers and only get good grades. People like him drive me insane. And he was my boyfriend for three years. I'm a glutton for punishment.

Frisbee has never been my forte. I enjoy it but I'm not great at it. The guys quickly discovered this as we tossed the disc around. "I'm out of practice," I said as I tried to throw it to Nolan but accidentally ended up giving it to a duck in the lake. "I haven't played much in the past couple of years."

"You need to talk to Ben," Chris said. "He's phenomenal. He can throw underhand and overhand and with his eyes closed."

"He can even do it with one hand tied behind his back," Logan told me.

"One time," Nolan explained quickly. "We tied Ben's right hand behind his back and he actually got it to me. It was amazing."

"That dude is stunning," Logan said. "He should play Frisbee professionally or something."

"He'd never go for it," his older brother replied. "He really loves English literature."

"But he's so good at Frisbee."

"He can make a little bit more money as a professor than he could if he played professional Frisbee," I said as I tried to throw the Frisbee to Logan. I missed and accidentally threw it in the lake. "Okay, I need to quit. I suck at this game."

"Oh come on," Logan said. "You're getting better."

"I've thrown it in the lake twice."

"It's okay," Nolan said. "I'll go get Ben and he can give you lessons. He won't mind at all."

Oh I bet he'll mind but I decided to let Nolan find that out for himself and I simply nodded meekly. So while he ran back up to the cottage to talk his brother-in-law I found myself flirting with Logan. "You don't need Ben. I could teach you how to throw a Frisbee," he told me, walking towards me with the orange disc in his hand.

I smiled. "I used to be decent. I played a lot when I was in college but I kind of lost it in medical school. I haven't really played since I broke up with my college boyfriend. He loved Frisbee."

"I bet I'm better than he was."

I laughed and shook my head. "I don't know. I could have played professionally."

"He should meet Ben."

"Nah, I don't think they'd get along very well."

"But if they're both Frisbee fanatics," Logan protested. "I bet they'd love each other."

"Well since I haven't really spoken to my ex since college, I don't think it's really possible to introduce them."

He shook his head. "So what was this guy like? Tell us about your ex."

"You're like a thirteen-year-old girl at a sleepover. And I already told you that I don't kiss and tell."

"Oh come on! Tell me about him. Is he better looking than me?"

I snorted. The simple, honest answer to that question was no. But I had to keep being the girl who didn't kiss and tell. "I'm not going there. I haven't seen him in six years."

"Did Ben know him?" he asked. "Maybe he could tell us."

"Logan, leave her alone," Chris sighed. "It's her life."

"But I bet it's interesting."

"If she doesn't want to talk about it, then leave her alone."

Logan tossed his hair and sighed. "Chris, you're boring and pathetic. I want to know about her ex-boyfriends."

"And she told you that she doesn't kiss and tell."

"She doesn't have to tell me about the kissing. I just want to know about the kind of guys she used to date."

"Ben says he can try to teach Gianna how to throw," Nolan said as he and Ben arrived at the beach.

"But I need to do this quickly," Ben said. "I really need to be working on my thesis."

"If you're busy, don't worry about it," I told him. "I don't want to bother you."

"I'm already here. Just let me give you a couple of quick pointers."

"Ben, do you know anything about Gianna's college boyfriend?" Logan interrupted as Ben tried to show me how to throw the Frisbee. Ben was standing behind me, guiding my arm, and I could feel him tense up at the question.

"Why do you ask?"

"I want to know about him."

"He thinks he's sizing up his competition," Chris mumbled.

Ben sighed. "I didn't really know the guy that well so I couldn't tell you anything about him. But based on my memories of him and the guy she was with at Kyle's wedding, I'd guess her type is tall, dark, and handsome."

"Oh, shot down," Chris said as his twin groaned.

"I'm tall and handsome," Logan protested.

Ben shrugged. "I don't really remember what her ex looks like and I barely met the guy at the wedding. I'm just saying what I remember."

Oh look at us, Benjamin James Christianson. Once we knew everything about each other. What have we come to?

_

* * *

They had no conversation together, no intercourse but what the commonest civility required. Once so much to each other! Now nothing! There _had _been a time, when of all the large party now filling the drawing-room at Uppercross, they would have found it most difficult to cease to speak to each one another. With the exception, perhaps, of Admiral and Mrs. Croft, who seemed particularly attached and happy, (Anne could allow no other exception even among the married couples) there could have been no two hearts so open, no tastes so similar, no feelings so in unison, no countenances so beloved. Now they were as strangers; nay, worse than strangers, for they could never become acquainted. It was perpetual estrangement._

_-Chapter VII of Volume I of __Persuasion__ by Jane Austen_

* * *

"Don't lie to me, Gianna Maria," was the first thing I heard on walking into my sister's house for dinner that evening. Sophia was standing in the kitchen wearing a red gingham apron over a long black skirt and a pink tank top and cooking spaghetti sauce.

"What am I lying about?" I asked her as I sat down at the island and poured myself a glass of iced tea.

"Carissa's brother is your ex-boyfriend Ben Christianson. And you're just running around flirting with Logan, flaunting it front of poor Ben."

"Poor Ben?" I repeated. "That asshole ended our engagement because he was too wimpy to stand up to his parents. Why should I feel badly for him? And why can't I have fun with Logan? He's a fun guy."

She sighed and shook her head. "Logan may be a fun guy but he isn't your type. He's not in line with your goals. He works at Starbucks and Dick's Sporting Goods. Now I'm not knocking either of those places."

"Oh, come on, Sofe," I told her. "We all know how much you hate Starbucks and all chain coffee-shops."

"But that's not the point here. The point is that I can't see you being happy in a long-term relationship with a Starbucks barista or a sporting-goods store manager. You need to marry someone who is your intellectual equal."

"I'm not getting back together with Ben, if that's what you're implying."

She sighed. "Good God, you are absurd, Gia. All I'm suggesting is that you find someone who is more intelligent than Logan. Maybe Chris would make you happy. You're acting like you're determined to get one of those twins to fall for you. Go for Chris; he's better suited to you."

"Logan is cuter," I replied with a smile.

My sister looked at me. "This is not the Gianna Maria Napolitano I grew up. You were always rational, logical, and cautious."

"I grew up."

"And you threw caution to the wind apparently. I remember what you were like when you were with Ben. It was like something out of a Jane Austen novel or something. You two acted like you were made for each other. I thought you'd found Mr. Right. I was so excited for both of you. He was a great guy and I saw you with him; you adored him."

"And let's not go there again. He was a great guy but he was more interested in making his parents happy than in making me happy. It ended. He wanted the ring back; I gave it to him. We're over. End of story, end of relationship, end of any need to discuss Ben; now when is dinner?"

"Give me about half an hour," my older sister replied.

"I need to get a quick shower first then. I'm sweaty like a man."

"Fine," she sighed. "Go shower. But this conversation is not over."

* * *

How could my sister bring up Ben like that? I knew he was there but that didn't mean we had to talk about him. He's my ex; it's a closed book. Okay, so I have absolutely amazing memories with the guy and my heart was broken when we split. Ever since we broke up, I've had problems watching certain movies because of the memories that I have from watching _Top Gun_ and _The Lion King_ and the 1995 version of _Sabrina_ with him. But I will survive. As I showered, I remembered nights spent watching Disney movies while he wrote papers and I worked on lab reports. We would sit in his apartment or my dorm room and work and watch movies. I remember passing innumerable hours like that and I loved it. His favorite movie was _Star Wars_ and mine was _The Princess Bride_. We would quote them to each other. He would tease me and call me his Princess Leia and I would always get annoyed with him about it. We did have chemistry. Oh goodness gracious, we had a great relationship. And it broke my heart when he dumped me. I really wish we had gotten married. I wish we were still together. But it can't happen. The jerk dumped me and moved on with his life. And I've moved on too. He has to understand that. And Sophia has to understand that. She might have liked Ben when we were together in college; then, she may have thought he was a good match for me. And maybe he was-then. But six years ago, he showed his true colors when he asked me to marry him and then took it back. Now, he would coldly show me how to throw a Frisbee and then walk away to chase his sister's dog out of the lake. He didn't pay much attention to me; in fact, he usually seemed to be avoiding me. But I guess that makes sense; he did dump me. Why would he have dumped me unless he wasn't interested in me? But then there were those three years we were dating. What was that? I thought he was in love with me. I guess he wasn't, jerk. He led me on.

* * *

"We're having everyone over for dinner tomorrow night," Sophia told me when I came back downstairs. "I was thinking we could have a cook-out on the deck. What do you two think?"

Karl shrugged. "I'm guessing you want me to do the grilling."

She smiled at him and kissed him. "I won't tell you what to do. But it would be helpful."

He laughed. They made an adorable couple; Karl is tall and fair while my sister is small and darker. She has very dark hair and eyes-like me-while he had light brown hair and soft blue eyes. He's very tall and well-built; I've always been more than willing to agree with my sister that she married an extremely handsome man. And Karl is just an amazing man. He's a talented artist and a friendly, outgoing person. He's also very good at calming my sister down when she takes an enthusiastic idea too far or gets overly exciting about something. She's known for freaking out over something that really isn't that important and taking serious things too lightly. She's a very emotional person. But she gives great relationship advice. She really knows her stuff in that area.

"So I'll grill," Karl began. "And what will you two do?"

"Well, I'll sit on the deck in a lounge chair wearing my bikini and sipping a margarita," his wife replied. "And Gia will do all the work. She's really good cook and she looks better in this apron than I do."

"She doesn't pair it with hot pink tops and black skirts. And honestly, liebchen, that look doesn't work for you. The skirt and top are fine but when you put that apron over it, it's all a bit much."

She playfully slapped his face and he kissed her again. I sighed and leaned against the refrigerator. They are the cutest couple in the history of, oh say, ever. But sometimes being around all the cuteness and romance can make a single girl-like me-feel a bit lonely.

* * *

That evening I was sitting on the hammock on the front porch reading Emma and listening to the Chieftains on my iPod when Logan and Chris stopped by. My hair was in a ponytail and I was wearing black sweatpants and a pale pink Michigan hoodie against the cool of the evening. "What are you doing?" Logan asked.

"Reading," I replied as I paused my iPod.

"What are you listening to?" was his next question.

"The Chieftains," I replied.

"Hmm," was all he said.

"So you like the Chieftains?" Chris asked.

I grinned and nodded. "I love them. I love traditional Celtic music in general but they're probably my favorite band."

"Mine too," he replied. "Do you like Irish punk or just traditional Irish music?"

"Both, I love Dropkick Murphys."

He sat down on the porch rail. "Man, that's awesome. I didn't know that. Ben loves Celtic music too. He's more into the Chieftains than Irish punk but he'll listen to it."

I smiled; that aspect of Ben's personality hadn't changed. "That's cool."

"His ringtone is by Flogging Molly," Logan inserted from his spot on porch steps.

"It's Laura," Chris told me.

"Great song," I said. "I've always loved it."

"So we're all coming over for dinner tomorrow night. Are you cooking?" Chris asked.

"I'm helping," I replied.

His brother looked up at us. "Will you be better dressed?"

"Nah, the dress-code for the evening is sweats and yoga pants; we're going to be meditating while eating tofu."

"Yuck, I hate tofu!"

"I like it," was the darker-haired twin's comment.

"How can you? It's so gross!"

"I like it with peanut sauce," I replied. "You make a nice stir-fry with peanut sauce, tofu, and some vegetables."

"That sounds good."

Logan looked at his brother and then me. "You guys are so weird. Ben likes tofu; you three should go out to dinner together some time. You'd all love each other. You could play Frisbee together."

I sighed. "We're not playing Frisbee anymore. Okay, I'm not playing anymore. I suck; I think we all saw that this afternoon."

"I know. It would be funny; think about it. Ben's amazing, Chris is pretty good, and you need serious help."

"Oh good heavens," was all I could say to him; Logan is beyond belief some times. He's cute but beyond belief. "You're such a sweet guy."

"I know. I amaze myself some times."

I shook my head. "You're full of yourself."

"No I'm not. I'm just honest."

I looked at Chris. "Is he always like this?"

"Yep," he replied with a nod. "He's pretty much always been like this. He was the quarterback of our high school's football team and dated the head cheerleader and he's still running on that high."

"That's a little sad."

"Well what did you do when you were in high school?" Logan asked me.

I shrugged. "I played soccer and I baby-sat and I spent time with my friends."

"Did you date a cheerleader?"

"I didn't want to."

"That's not the point. It's not what you want to do but what you did that matters."

When I went inside, my sister was asleep on the couch in the living room with her laptop in her lap-a suitable place for it. I took it off her lap and smiled when I saw her desktop. It was a picture of the two of us when she was about four and I was almost two. She's wearing a typical Sophia outfit: black leggings, a green and pink plaid skirt, and a light purple sweater; and her hair is in pigtails. I'm wearing a pink top with a brown jumper with pink flowers and my hair is also in pigtails. Sophia is skipping around with a big smile on her face while I'm standing still, holding my teddy bear while shyly watching my mother who has the camera. My mom says it defines our personalities perfectly. Sophia is outgoing and excited about everything while I'm shy and more cautious. A few years ago, Sophia scanned all of my mom's old pictures of us and saved them onto her computer so we could keep the memories forever. Unfortunately, Ben is in a lot of pictures from my college years. I can't get away from him.

* * *

A/N: Please review.


	4. Sophia Speaks

A/N: I don't own Persuasion. I love reviewers. That's all.

* * *

Sophia Speaks

* * *

People think I'm stupid. I'm not talking about the people who read my articles in _Newsweek_ or the ones who read my blog. I'm also not talking about Karl, my dear husband. No, I'm talking about my family and friends. Yes, I'm a vegetarian who does yoga on the dock at dawn while watching the sunrise. And I'm a sap who loves chick-flicks more than action movies. And I pass out at the sight of blood. But I am not stupid. I see much more than people give me credit for.

My name is Sophia Napolitano-Zimmer and I'm a wife, a writer, a vegetarian, a sister, a daughter, and a friend. I'm also really good at describing myself. I have a blog and I write for _Newsweek_. My husband, Karl, and I travel a lot. He's an artist and I'm a writer. This summer, we're renting a house that we found on a website. We never communicated with the family that owned the house, just with a lawyer named Herb Shepherd. We moved into the house in Uppercross, Michigan in late May and decided to invite my sister, Gianna, to come visit us for two weeks. So Gia came in July and immediately began flirting with both Chris and Logan Cross. Karl and I met the Cross family shortly before Gia arrived. Mike and Karen Cross were there with their five children as well as a daughter-in-law and a grandson. And the daughter-in-law had a brother who was visiting them for the summer while writing his PhD. It was the brother who bothered me. We met him the day after Gia arrived. And he turned out to be her ex-boyfriend, Benjamin Christianson. They'd once been engaged for three weeks but that ended quickly. And now she pretty much hates him. She's pretending she barely knows him and he's just playing along. Poor guy, she's being a bitch to him. My sister is running around flirting with other guys, flaunting it in front of Ben. I don't know if she is conscious of this but I know my sister well enough to know that she's just trying to hurt Ben. And he does not deserve that. Ben is a great guy who couldn't stand up to family pressure from a very overbearing family. I'm a writer; I hear things about the Christianson family.

And this is why I say that I'm not stupid. I understand what my sister is doing. Intellectually, she is smarter than me. I'm a writer; she's a doctor. And I just happen to think that she's smarter than me. Okay, I can write an article but I didn't spend years and years in medical school. She did all kinds of things that I'm afraid to do. I faint at the sight of blood and she can do surgery. I may travel around the world but I generally tend to think that my sister is more amazing than I am. But this is one time when I have to disagree with that. She's being an idiot. Ben may have screwed everything up when they were younger. But he's grown up. It's not like he's his dad's puppet anymore. I've actually spent time talking to him and I think he's not the same guy who dumped her for no real reason. Ben grew up; he matured. If she gave him a chance, they could make things work. But my sister doesn't think that way. My sister looks at the world as black and white. I'm much more open-minded and so I see how it could be. I'm not perfect but I'm not emotionally involved in the situation. I just want Gia to be happy. I just happen to think that Ben is the best way for her to get there.

* * *

Tuesday evening, we had the Crosss over for dinner. Logan and Chris were both obviously competing for my sister's attention and affections. Ben really seemed miserable and unhappy. He was busy with Jayden because Carissa was busy whining about her horrible life. Karl was barbecuing on the back porch while Gianna and I manned the kitchen and tried to be the perfect hostesses. And my darling sister had two boys flirting with her. Logan was in the kitchen offering to help us. But the dumb boy didn't even know how to set a table. He just offered to help so he could impress my sister. And unfortunately, it worked-at least a little bit. But then Chris made a salad and that really did impress both of us. He used spinach, lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, feta cheese, and peas. It wasn't what I would have made but it was creative. And I have to approve of creativity; I married an artist for a reason. And it wasn't because I wanted to make him decorate the house for me. I actually don't let him decorate the house. He has his studio but beyond that, I only let him give input and opinions; mostly, I get to decorate the house. I'm the woman and I have innate home-decorating abilities. I love Pier1 and places like it. Karl says I spend too much time in Bed, Bath, and Beyond. But I digress.

It was very obvious that both Chris and Logan were making plays for my sister's affections. I genuinely liked Chris and if she had to pick someone who wasn't Ben, I'd really prefer Chris. He was friendlier and more respectful. And my sister needs a respectful guy. Ben hurt her really badly. But I also feel that Ben could repair everything. He could explain himself and heal the rift between the two of them. He made a big mistake but he could apologize. He could prove to her that he still deserves her.

I remember spending time with them when they were in college. They were so cute, so sweet, and so happy. It was almost like watching something out of a movie; they were perfect for each other. I remember watching them snuggle and cuddle and kiss. Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks had nothing on them. But now they barely acknowledge that the other exists. They used to stay up until four in the morning talking about stupid things and watching silly movies. He used to make fun of her clothes and she used to make fun of his. She loves dressing up and being stylish. He loved wearing old jeans and t-shirts that were from Goodwill. She always teased him about clashing with her carefully planned outfits and he would tell her that he was the stylish one and that she was the one doing all the clashing. They bickered so much and it was always enjoyable. They loved it; my family loved watching it. Karl used to say that they were going to live happily ever after. "They'll still be happy together when they're ninety and bald."

But they won't unless both of them come to their senses and get their act together. They need to talk. They used to be so good at that. I wondered how Ben was feeling being so close to Gianna. And I got the opportunity to ask him after dinner when we were alone in the kitchen doing the dishes. "How are you?" I asked him.

"Are you actually admitting that you know me?" he asked. "Are you breaking Gianna's façade?"

"Oh come on, Ben. I won't tell everyone else but I'll admit it to you. I'm not going to publically destroy my sister's façade but I will tell you that I know what she's doing. You dated my sister for three years and you two were engaged for three weeks. And then you took it back. I know who you are."

He hung his head and sighed. "That's me. I'm the jackass who dumped your sister because I'm a complete idiot."

I smiled. "Ben, you're a great guy. You and Gia were amazing together."

"Yeah and I kind of screwed that up."

"I know. I had to take care of her after you took your ring back. I had to play devoted best friend and older sister and listen to her cry about how you'd broken her heart and how there was nothing left in life for her without you."

"Yeah, I heard about it from Jenna. She gave me hell about it for years afterwards. Whenever I was within ten feet of her she would scream at me. She would tell me what a horrible person I was and that I'd let the greatest treasure in the world slip between my fingers. She told me that she hoped I would never find another girlfriend. And she also hoped that if I ever married, she hoped my marriage was miserable and doomed to failure."

"That's our Jenna for you. She's very dramatic and very protective of her friends."

He smiled; I remembered when Gia told me that his smile made her fall in love with him. "Yeah, I know. I'm always being reminded that I used to be one of those friends. Kyle and I are still close but Jenna likes to maintain a distance in our relationship. It's been six years and she's still pissed at me."

"Umm, yeah, Gia is too."

"I don't blame her. I deserve it. I never should have asked her for that ring back. I should have stood up to my father and done things differently. But I didn't. And honestly, regrets are useless; a guy can't just live in the past and brood over his fabulous ex-girlfriend who he let go because he was too busy trying to please his parents to realize that he had the best thing in the world sitting right in front of him."

"Yeah, well, you might try telling her that."

"Have you seen your sister recently?"

I sighed. "Yes, I have. I'm not stupid."

"She's throwing herself at Logan and Chris. She doesn't want me." He looked me in the eye, and then said, "I screwed up big time and I don't get to get your sister back. The fates are not generally kind to those of us who destroy the best relationship we've ever been in. We must suffer greatly to appease them and to amuse them."

"Oh Ben," I said softly. "It's been six years."

He ran a hand through his tousled dark brown hair. "Sophia, you're very kind to me. But I have to suffer the consequences of my actions."

"You're almost as overdramatic as Jenna is," I told him.

He laughed. "This is coming from the girl who ran from the room screaming at the right of blood when Karl, Gia, and I were watching _Braveheart_ and you walked into the room."

"You remember that?"

"Oh man," he said. "It was unforgettable."

"So," I asked. "How do you feel about the fact that they're making Late Bloomer into a movie?"

"I think it's great for my mom," was all he said at first.

I looked at him. "Oh come on, Ben. There's so much more inside of you. I can tell that there is a 'but' hidden in there somewhere in there."

"I don't want to talk about it," he replied. "Carissa and Eliot are both thrilled. And it is great for Mom. I think she's always wanted to have one of her books made into a movie."

Gia came in just then with Chris. "We were wondering if you guys needed any help," my sister explained.

"Logan has completely dominated the conversation," Chris said. "He's currently explaining why he prefers blondes."

"It's really insulting," my sister added.

Ben smiled. "If you told Logan that, he'd probably suggest that you dye your hair blonde."

"Actually, he detailed how many blondes he'd dated," Chris admitted. "He told us that blondes screw better than brunettes do."

"And I decided to get my brunette head together and come inside," my sister added.

"Smart girl," I told her.

"I'm proud of being a brunette."

"You should be," Chris told her. "I think brunettes have more fun; they don't have to worry about my brother as much as blondes do."

My sister smiled and laughed and I saw how Ben's face lit up for a brief second to see that smile on her face. Gianna had captured Ben's eyes; he couldn't take those dark blue gems off of her. And she didn't realize it. She was laughing and smiling and focusing on Chris. And it bothered Ben. I understood that; he loved her and she was ignoring him. And worse, he felt like he deserved it.

And then Danielle Cross came running into the room. "Chris, your cell phone is ringing. It's Nadia."

Chris wordlessly took the phone from his sister and left the room. "Who is Nadia?" I asked.

"Where is Nadia?" Ben asked before Danielle could reply to me.

"I don't know," she said. "I think she's at home with her family. But I also think Logan called her and told her to call Chris. I'm going back outside."

"Who is Nadia?" Gianna repeated my earlier question.

Ben took a deep breath. "It's a little confusing. I thought she was Chris's ex-girlfriend. They used to date and I thought they'd broken up. She's really nice, really sweet. She teaches kindergarten in the same building where Chris works."

"How come we've never heard about her?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I think he's pretty private about it all. He's not like Logan; he's much more reserved."

"I've noticed," Gia said slowly.

Ben's eyes had been fixed on me during the discussion about Chris but now they returned to Gia and he became solemn, much quieter. "He's a really good guy," he told her. "But Nadia is a really great girl. I think you'd like her."

She shrugged. "I'd like to meet her before I agree to that."

"That's understandable," was all that Ben said in reply.

* * *

When Ben and Gianna were in the same room, you could cut the tension with a knife. It was awkward because you knew they were supposed to be together. You could feel it but they either couldn't feel it or were denying it. Ben knew he still loved her but he just was keeping it inside because he thought he deserved to suffer. I sighed and scrubbed the kitchen table. Cleaning had always been a stress release for the women in my family. It was two in the morning and I was cleaning because I couldn't sleep; my sister's relationships wouldn't leave my mind. Chris and Nadia had never broken up and she was coming up to visit for a few days. So my sister couldn't have him after all; that sucked. And Logan was still around.

And then I heard footsteps on the stairs. I walked out into the living room to see my sister padding down the stairs in black yoga pants and a navy blue tank-top. Her hair was in a messy bun and she was wearing her glasses; she looked adorable, as always. "What are you still doing up?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Too much on my mind, I guess. What's your reason?"

"Logan isn't what I'm looking for and Chris isn't available. And Ben is here. I'm confused, Sofe; can you help me?"

I smiled. "Sweetie, I can tell you what I think but you won't like it."

"Then tell me what I want to hear."

"And what's that?"

"That Hugh Jackman got divorced and is sitting on the doorstep waiting for me to come out and agree to marry him," she replied with a smile, plopping down on the couch.

I sat down in the recliner opposite the couch and laughed. "Sorry, sweets; he called earlier and said he was still in love with his wife."

"Damn," she muttered. "I was really banking on Hugh."

I laughed. "I waited for Cary Grant until I realized he was dead. Then I married Karl."

Then it was Gia's turn to laugh. "Well, at least my celebrity crush is still alive and is less then ninety years older than me."

"Cary Grant was alive when I was born and he's only seventy-five years older than me."

"But he's still dead now. You can't have him. If Hugh suddenly finds himself at liberty, I have a shot with him."

"I'd rather have Hugh Laurie," I told her.

"He's married too."

I groaned. "I'm married too. We'd both need a change of circumstances before we could get together."

My sister smiled. "Well, you can't have your Hugh and I can't have mine. Unfortunately for me, you still have Karl and I still have my pillow."

"Your pillow?" I asked.

"Well, once when I was about fourteen, you told me that since I'd been sleeping with my pillow for the past fourteen years, I should probably consider marrying it."

"And you replied that I'd have to marry my teddy bear, Mr. Benjamin, if you were going to marry your pillow."

My sister leaned back and sighed. "We had a great childhood, Sofe. Mom and Dad may not have been able to give us everything we wanted but they made sure we were loved and we knew it."

"What makes you say that?"

"Ben," she replied. "He didn't grow up with a loving family and that made a mess out of his life."

"Do you still like him?"

"It doesn't matter. He doesn't like me. So I'm stuck with Hugh Jackman. Can I borrow Mr. Benjamin? I need some help sleeping."

"I'll grab him for you. He's in my room and Karl's asleep. But you can definitely have him."

"Thanks, Sofe," she said as we went upstairs. I got my bear from my room and gave it to her. She took it and hugged it. "You're the best big sister ever. I love you."

"Love you too, Gia," I told her as she went into her own room.

* * *

A/N: It's shorter but it had some Ben and Gia! Please review!


	5. Chapter 4

A/N: I don't own Persuasion. I love reviewers. That's all.

* * *

Chapter Four

* * *

I've never met Nadia, but Carissa hates her. This means that I'll probably get along with her swimmingly. Nadia Harper is Chris Masterson's girlfriend and because she has him (and has had him for the past four years) I can't have him. I can't date the boy. But Carissa would rather that I date Chris than Nadia. I don't really care. I like Chris but I don't know him well enough to throw my life into his hands. Most of the family loves Nadia. Logan thinks that she's "pretty but boring." Danielle said that she's really fun but "you can definitely tell that she's a kindergarten teacher." Ben said that she's "really nice, really sweet" and he thinks I'd like her. We'll see what I think when she gets here. He used to know me better than anyone but that was six years ago. I don't know if he's still right about these kinds of things. It's at moments like this that I really wish that Hugh Jackman would leave his wife and marry me. I'd even take Cary Grant but like I told Sophia the night before, he's dead. And I'm not like that. And Ben isn't an option. There's too much history and confusion between us.

So if I can't have Hugh Jackman, Cary Grant, or Ben Christianson, I guess I'll just have to read The Princess Bride again. Buttercup gets the guy. And I wanted to get a guy. I wasn't looking for some sappy romance. I was just looking for someone who would love me as I am. I don't really want the whole Mr. Darcy or Prince Charming thing. I'd rather just have a man who accepts me as I am. I'm really a simple girl; I'm not looking for much in life-just happiness and good people. Ben was once a good person on whom I could rely and I did rely on him. Now, he's just another chapter in my past and good for nothing but reminding me of my past.

I've had a pretty good life. I have a great family and friends. I went to medical school. And I dated Ben Christianson for three years. I'm not exciting. I know Logan is interested in me but he doesn't know me. He thinks I'm hot and that's about as far as he's gotten. He knows nothing about me. A guy like that would never be seriously interested in a workaholic doctor. And this workaholic doctor would never be interested in him. He was fun and an escape from my reality. But my reality called and reminded me that I wasn't the girl who had flings. I could try to pretend and play for two weeks but my conscience would always remind me that I was only doing this to prove to Ben that I wasn't in love with him anymore. And God knows that while Hugh Jackman is my dream guy, Ben Christianson is the only man I really ever wanted or will ever want to marry. Sorry, Hugh, but you've got Deborah Lee Furness and your two kids. I'm stuck here in Michigan working with sick kids and wondering why Ben dumped me six years ago. I should just move on with my life but we all know that I'll never do it because I'm a stupid, stupid girl. As much as I don't want to be an emotional girl, I let my emotions control me far too often. I'm afraid of Ben.

Nadia Harper is a really nice girl and I don't know why Carissa hates her. But I think that Carissa just hates people who get in the way of her plans for other people. Nadia must have heard Carissa talking about her plans for my marriage to Chris because she is really leery of me. She'll make small-chat with me but she mostly just ignores me and pretends I'm not that. Relax, sweetie; I'm not here to steal your man. Now if she knew a way for me to get my man back, I'd be all ears. But for now, I'm just sitting back and watching. I'll play a bit but I know that Chris is off-limits. Her only real concern should be the fact that her boyfriend never mentioned that he was "in a relationship" until after Logan called Nadia to tell her to call Chris.

I'm not much of a threat to Nadia. But it had been a confusing past couple of days and I really needed to talk to Jenna and get her to straighten me out. Jenna is really good at straightening me out when I'm making a mess out of my life. She also likes to remind me of just how minimal my chances of getting Hugh Jackman to marry me are. I think she likes making me sad. She lives to destroy my dreams and crush my spirit. Or she may just be very honest; I'm not really sure yet and I've known her for about twenty years. She's been my best friend since fifth grade and now she's married to Kyle, who is another of my closest friends. I trust both of them deeply and often ask them their opinion on various aspects of my personal life. I know that they can read me and give me solid advice about the dumb decisions I make. Kyle apparently gave Ben hell for breaking up with me. All I know about it is that there was a broken nose and a lot of loud noises involved in the confrontation but very little of it came from Ben; that's Kyle. He likes to protect people. I think some of that comes from growing up with two very beautiful younger sisters.

* * *

So I called Jenna's cell phone. And apparently Ben had also talked to Kyle because I got a tongue lashing from Josh when he answered Jenna's cell phone. "Are you fucking retarded?" were the first words I heard before I even know who had answered the phone. "No seriously, Gianna, what the fuck is wrong with you? You have the opportunity to get the One back and you're just messing around with other guys."

"Sophia called me," Jenna said, cutting off Josh's rant. "But I think Kyle and Ben have also talked."

"I think she's being an absolute moron," Josh yelled in the background.

I smiled; I guess this was a sign that he cared about me. "I'm not being stupid," I sighed. "I'm just not doing what Josh would do. But the last time I checked, WWJD did not stand for 'what would Josh do?' So I don't have to do things just because Josh would do them. Just because he wants his lost love back, that doesn't necessarily mean that I want mine back."

"Honey, just don't do anything stupid," my best friend replied. "You need to be able to respect yourself the next morning."

"I know that. And I haven't done anything stupid yet."

"Yet," she repeated in that voice that reminds you that she is a mother and has been through a few things in life. It's a voice my goddaughter and namesake, Gianna Harville, knows well. Kyle and Jenna have twin daughters, Gianna and Ava, who are about two years old and they're expecting their third child very soon.

"I'm responsible," I replied firmly. "I'm not going to do anything stupid."

She sighed and I knew that I was in for a lecture. Jenna has always been the maternal type and her maturity had always exceeded her years. She wasn't the type to casually flirt with a guy just because he was cute. At times, it's obnoxious but she's twenty-eight years old and she is exactly where she wants to be. She married the man of her dreams when she was twenty-five and gave birth to twins a year later. She has two beautiful baby girls-Gianna Rose and Ava Christine- and is exactly where she wants to be. She worked as a nurse for a few years before the babies were born but Kyle makes enough money that she was able to quit working. She's always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom; it's part of her extremely maternal nature.

She took a deep breath and I could hear Josh laughing in the background; he knew what was coming as well as I did. "Okay, Gianna Maria, listen to me. You're playing games with Ben and he knows what you're doing. He's not a stupid little girl. He's twenty-eight years old and he dated you for three years in college."

"That's all ancient history. He doesn't know me anymore."

"Some things don't change. You like having the upper hand in situations and you've always been like that. You've always liked being in control. You also really like making sure everyone else knows that you're fine. And you really don't like it when other people know that they've hurt you. That was all true when you were twenty and that's all still true today. You hated it when you saw Nick with Jessica freshman year of college and you hate it that Ben dumped you and wasn't immediately struck dead by a bolt of divine lightning. You hate the idea that he's still living, eating, sleeping, and breathing even though he broke your heart. And you think that he never felt any pain for the demise of your relationship. And you hate him for that."

"Okay, Freud," I sighed. "You're really good at analyzing me. You're also my best friend who talks to me at least twice a week and has done so every week since we were eight years old and lived next door to each other. I doubt that Ben can pull the same psychic crap that you can. He hasn't seen me in six years and I've changed in the past six years."

"We'll argue about this later," was Jenna's reply, which I knew to mean that we would argue later; she was not going to concede her point to me that easily. Jenna Clare Fleming-Harville does not lose arguments-ever. You can ask Kyle about that; he'll agree with me. "The twins just woke up and I need to go change some diapers and play patty-cake. But if you could call back later, that would be great. Kyle wants to talk to you and he'll be home around five-thirty. We put the girls to bed around seven-thirty or eight usually. But anyway, we're going up to Long Lake this weekend and we were wondering if you wanted to come over for a day or two. Kyle was thinking that you two could take the Galadriel out on the lake together."

Jenna's parents own a cabin on Long Lake in Alpena, Michigan at a place where there are like fifteen cabins. Each cabin is owned by a different family and visitors can rent them for a week at a time or whatever. All of the partner families know each other and have known each other for like thirty years and the renters are usually friends of theirs but occasionally other families find them through acquaintances or referrals or curiosity. Jenna's family always goes up the third week of July and it's the whole family-parents, kids, grandchildren, and everyone; it's great. I've gone up there every summer since I was eighteen-except the summer when I went to Uppercross with Ben. The Galadriel is Jenna's dad's sailboat and I love going out on the lake. I love water and boats but I love just sitting out there in a sailboat talking to a friend. Jenna and I have had some amazing talks out on the water. Kyle asked her to marry him out there. Back in the day, I wanted to take Ben out there and show him the world from there. Maybe I could take Hugh Jackman out there sometime.

"I'd love to come up," I replied eagerly. "When are you guys getting up there?"

"Hopefully, around lunchtime on Saturday," she said. "We're bringing Josh with us. But we could really use your help with the twins."

"Won't your mom be there?"

"Yeah but she's going to have most of her grandchildren there and I really think that the twins prefer being with you to being with all of their cousins and everything."

I smiled; I adored my goddaughters. Ava and Gianna were little darlings and the fact that the elder of the two was named after me was pure icing on the cake. "I'll be there and I'll bring groceries."

"You can bring friends too. So bring Ben."

I sighed. "Jenna Clare Harville, don't go there again."

"Kyle wants to see him."

"He'll be there." I knew she was grinning and I laughed. "But seriously, Jenna, I'm not getting back together with Ben. He dumped me because of his family."

"And I'm sure he's grown up in the past few years."

"We'll see you on Saturday, Jenna," I told her, not waiting to have this conversation now.

"I'll see you then, gorgeous. We love you and miss you. And Josh is going to kill me over the screaming toddlers with dirty diapers so I have to run."

And then the phone call was over. And Ben Christianson was standing next to me with Jayden on his back. "Hey," I said quickly. "I just got off the phone with Josh and Jenna."

"We're going to the beach!" Jayden replied. "Uncle Ben might let me swim."

"That's exciting," I told him.

"My sister doesn't like letting him near the water but we're going to try it today," Ben explained quickly. "I figure he needs to experience the real world, not just live in a bubble."

"I like water," the little boy commented.

"So how are Josh and Jenna and Kyle?"

"Jenna and Kyle are fine; Josh is Josh."

"So he isn't coping."

"No," I replied. "They're all heading up to Long Lake on Saturday and they invited us to visit."

"I bet Logan will love that."

I sighed; Ben is impossible. "I'll invite him but I don't know that he's the sailboat and barbeque type."

"Oh but he'll jump at the chance to impress you and to prove his masculinity to you," Ben replied flatly.

I rolled my eyes. "We're supposed to be there at lunchtime."

"You're expecting Logan and Chris to be up and ready to go at nine o'clock?"

"I haven't invited them yet."

"Well, make sure that they understand that Jenna is a stickler for punctuality and won't hesitate to give them hell if we're late for lunch."

"You make her sound like a fire-breathing dragon."

He shrugged. "She's pregnant."

I glared at him. "I'd hate to be your wife. Not all pregnant women are evil."

"Oh come on. She's pregnant, type-A, and she has twin two-year-olds."

"Gianna and Ava are angels. You don't know them."

Ben shrugged. "I need to get Jayden to the beach," he replied. "I may not know Gianna and Ava but I know Jayden. I have some experience with toddlers."

I shrugged. "You're used to Jayden and Carissa. Jenna isn't the same kind of mom."

"I don't want to argue with you, Gianna."

"Then don't. Go swim with your nephew. Just walk away. You always were good at that."

He sighed. "I'm leaving but only because Jayden wants to go swimming. Believe it or not, Gianna, not everything in life is actually about you."

And then he walked away before I could get in the last word. I hate it when I don't get to say the final word. But that was Ben for you. He was determined to make keep the upper hand in our relationship. He got to end things six years earlier and now he got to walk away whenever I was too much for him.

* * *

Sophia and Karl weren't interested in Long Lake. They had other projects that they both needed to work on during their vacation. I understood and I expected to have a niece or nephew born in April. But that was just a sneaking suspicion. So I invited Logan, Chris, Nadia, Carissa, and Nolan. Nadia informed me that she was too busy. "I have plans back home with my friends. I'm only staying here until Thursday. I'm not really a vacation person."

She would probably be more of a vacation person if I weren't around. I think she just didn't want to associate with me. If I were her, I would have made more of an effort to remind me that Chris wasn't available instead of just being a bitch to the suspected interloper. Nadia comes off as being really shy in general and unsure of how to behave when around adults. She was very quiet and didn't say much when she was with anyone other than Chris. Sophia said that after talking to Nadia for an hour at the beach all she had learned was that Nadia liked to listen to 101.9-All the Hits, None of the Lip. "I think she's unoriginal, just another cookie-cutter girlfriend for Logan," my sister said.

"But she's dating Chris," I had replied.

"I know. But she isn't right for him. He needs someone who is more exciting. He needs someone who has a personality. But Logan, I can see him with some little cookie-cutter blonde with no personality. Chris should marry someone with fire in her blood that can argue with him and stir him up."

I smiled. "I'm not sure I entirely agree with you but I'm not crazy about Nadia. She isn't right for him."

"People need to be more individual."

My sister is just so brilliant. She must have been a philosopher or something in a previous life.

* * *

And then I offered the trip to Chris and Logan. Chris shrugged but agreed to it. And Logan's response was "I'm all over that."

"If we go, we'll have to leave pretty early," I told him. "We need to be there at noon and it's about three hours away."

"Ugh," he made a face. "I hate getting up before noon. Can't we leave later?"

I shook my head. "I told Jenna that I would get there when she got there so I can help her with her daughters."

"Boring," he replied leaning back into the sand and flipping his sunglasses back over his eyes. "You should get a life, Gianna. Kids are boring."

I sighed and sat down on the dock. "Logan, you're ridiculous," Chris told his twin.

Logan inhaled deeply on his cigarette and casually blew a puff of smoke. I hated the fact that he smoked; I'm a doctor and I just can't stand the stuff. He always smelled like an ashtray and while that might attract some girls, it's not for me. Logan thought he smelled and looked sexy with his cigarette and white plastic-rimmed sunglasses. I thought he looked like a cookie cutter version of a Spencer Pratt wannabe. And yes, Logan watched _The Hills_. In case you're ever curious "And we can watch _The Hills_ together" is not a pick-up line that works on a twenty-eight year old doctor who doesn't even own a television. Oh Logan, it was a nice try-if you were trying to pick up an eighteen-year-old. I was really losing all interest in this guy, even as a friend. I just wanted him to go away and leave me alone. Instead, I invited him to come to Long Lake. I invited him to my favorite place in the world; he's going to ruin it.

"So what do you do at this place?" Logan asked me.

"Swim, boat, relax," I said.

"Are there any bars or clubs nearby?"

"There are some bars in Alpena but we don't really go into town much."

He looked at me. "Then what do you do while you're there?"

"Relax," I replied without hesitation. "I'm a doctor; my vacations are my only time to relax."

"You need to live," he said before taking another drag of his cigarette.

I smoothed my skirt and looked enviously at Ben and Jayden in the water. And then I laughed. "You have to be kidding me."

"What? Are you laughing at me?"

I nodded. "I'm twenty-eight years old and I'm a doctor. Where did you get your idea that I've never lived?"

"Have you ever gone to a club?"

"Yeah but I hated it."

"You go to the wrong clubs. You should come with me; I'll take you to the right places."

"I don't like it and I don't want to do it again. That's not my style."

He sighed. "You go to the wrong clubs. I know where you should go."

"Logan, the only place I'm going is back to my sister's house to eat lunch. I don't club. I like going to restaurants and I love spending time with my friends. But I don't need to go to a bar or a club to have fun. It's too expensive."

"But it's fun!"

"Maybe for you but not for me," was my reply as I stood up.

"But where do you meet guys?" he asked as I started to walk away.

I almost told him that I was a lesbian but then I figured that he might try to "convert" me to his side. Instead, I told him, "I meet guys at work or when I'm with my friends. My friends introduce me to guys. And you know, I can always use the personal ads or online dating sites."

"You actually do that shit?" he asked. But I just walked away. I was learning to walk away. Ben had taught me all about it.

* * *

A/N: Please review! I need the encouragement.


	6. Chapter 5

A/N: I don't own _Persuasion_.

* * *

I decided to try to spend more time with my sister and brother-in-law before we left for Long Lake. But Logan was determined to spend as much time as was humanly possible with me. I would go and sit quietly on the dock while Karl painted-just trying to spend some quality time with my brother-in-law-and then Logan would come along and want to talk to us. He would just sit down next to me and start talking. Karl hates having anyone talk while he's in his artistic mode. So Logan would sit down and chat and I'd keep reading my book; I was currently reading The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring and Logan deemed this an action worthy of excessive mocking. "Are you just some kind of pathetic nerd?" he asked me on Thursday while I read and Karl painted; he was working on a painting of me sitting on the dock reading. It annoyed him every time I moved or readjusted my position. But we had a nice working arrangement going. And we were having fun. But then Logan came along.

"I like this book," I replied defensively.

"Yeah and you like to crochet and knit and read and drink tea. You're boring, Gianna Napolitano."

"It's my life," I replied looking at Karl for a back-up. He shrugged and smiled as if to say 'You led him on for a couple of days. Now shake him off yourself."

I sighed; back in the day, Ben used to read Tolkien books out loud to me. He loves those books and so do I. Logan took my book away from me. "I should just throw this in the lake. Maybe then you'll pay attention to me."

"You wouldn't dare," I replied. "I got that book from my mom who bought it from a used book store. It's the first edition of the book that was printed in the U.S."

"Oh, so it means something to you. Maybe you'll actually fight for it then."

And then he took off running with my book in his hands. When I jumped up to follow him, I tripped and fell into the lake. Karl sighed and put down his painting things while Logan just kept running with my book. "When are you going to learn?" Karl asked me.

I looked up at him. "Give me a hand, please?"

He rolled his eyes. "You're almost as bad as your sister."

"I know and I'm pathetic. But just get me out of this lake. I need to take a shower and put on some clean clothes and get my book back."

"Why did you ever start flirting with that guy?" was his first question once he had me on the dock.

I shrugged. "It seemed like it might be fun. And he was kind of cute. I was bored. I don't know."

"You wanted to get back at Ben."

I shrugged again. "Don't ask me to explain myself, Karl. I'm a little confused myself."

"A little?" he asked. "Look at yourself, Gianna Maria. You're soaking wet and you can't find your book because some guy about whom you barely care stole it. Meanwhile, you're torturing your ex-boyfriend by flirting with some jerk. And don't make faces at me or make excuses for yourself. Go take a shower and I'll get your book back for you."

I smiled and kissed his scruffy cheek. "Thanks, Karl. You're the best."

"Just clean yourself up." And I knew he was talking about more than showering and changing clothes.

* * *

"I can't stand Carissa," Logan announced when he found me on the front porch two hours later.

I looked up at him from my laptop. "Karl gave me my book," I told him.

"I don't get how Nolan could have ever married her. She's such a bitch. She's whiny and stupid. Ben is great. But the rest of his family is just stupid. Someone should shoot them."

"We've discussed this before," I said.

"I know but I just can't stand her."

I sighed. "We all know people we can't stand."

"But she's so obnoxious."

And so are you, I thought but did not say; I'm tactful. Instead, I took a deep breath and smiled. "What did Carissa do now?"

"She's at my parents' house telling them all about how miserable her life is and how sick she is."

"Will she die of whatever she has?"

He rolled his eyes. "She's always about to die. This time she has malaria from a mosquito bite, actually from a bunch of mosquito bites."

"It is possible."

"No it isn't."

"Okay so it's extremely unlikely but there's always a minimal chance."

"You're lying."

I glared at him. "I'm a doctor. I know these sorts of things."

He sighed. "I hate smart chicks."

"And I hate being called a chick."

"See, this is why I've never dated a brunette before! They're too damn smart for me."

I went back to editing pictures of the lake on my laptop. I'd spent a good part of the morning taking pictures of sunrise and other aspects of the lake. And now I was playing with lighting and color and other fun things. I had a great picture of Karl and Sophia working in the kitchen making breakfast together. You can see the warm sunlight streaming in through the windows. The lighting is amazing and they look so cute, so happy together. I was trying to edit the picture and Logan was just annoying; he was distracting me from what I wanted to do.

"Do you mind if I smoke?"

"In general or right now?" I asked him while fiddling with the lighting in the picture on my computer.

He looked at me. "Was that a serious question?"

I shrugged and grabbing the ponytail holder off my wrist, quickly pulling my hair back into a braid. When I was done with the braid, I looked up at him. "Yes, it was a serious question. I'm personally opposed to smoking but I don't care if you do it far away from me. But if you're going to stand in front of me and smoke on my sister's front porch, I'll have a problem."

"Technically, this is Ben's dad's house."

"Yeah but he's not doing all too well financially. And he's not here. I am. So what I say goes."

"Does that mean I can't smoke?"

I sighed and stared at my computer as if it might have some answer to how best to dispose of Logan. It didn't. Computers are supposed to solve all of our problems and save us from the evils of this world. And Wikipedia has never failed me. But at this particular moment, my beloved MacBook had no way to save me from Logan's stupidity. I sighed and leaned back in the hammock. "Please do not smoke around me, Logan. I don't like the smell and I find it all rather disgusting. If you need to smoke, go somewhere else."

"You're so lame," he sighed taking his lighter and a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket.

"You're not smoking here," I told him.

"I'll get Ben to back me up on this."

I shrugged. "Go ahead." I knew Ben hated smoking almost as much as I did. His mother had smoked most of her life and he had asthma. The resulting scenes had not been pretty.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Logan was back with an annoyed-looking Ben. "What do you want to ask me now?" Ben asked when they were both standing at the bottom of the porch steps.

"Would you mind if I smoked on the porch?" Logan asked taking the lighter and cigarettes out again.

"It's not my house," Ben replied.

"Sure it is! Your parents own it; Sophia and Karl are just renting it."

My ex-boyfriend sighed. "My parents own it; I don't. I'm not exactly closely connected to my parents anymore and I haven't been since I moved to St. Louis six years ago."

"You moved to St. Louis six years ago?" I blurted without thinking.

He nodded. "I got my master's in British Literature from Washington University in St. Louis. And now I'm working on my PhD at the University of Chicago."

"Then how does Kyle see you?"

"I still come home to see Carissa occasionally," he replied.

I nodded. "And Connor lives in Chicago. So does Kyle see you when he goes to visit his brother?"

"That he does. So I see Kyle every few months. I'm not his daughters' godfather or anything but I'm still pretty close to him."

"Connor is Gianna's godfather and Jenna's brother is Ava's," I told him.

"I know. I was invited to the baptism but I was in Cambridge delivering a paper."

Logan sighed loudly. "Can I smoke? I don't care about Kyle and Chicago."

"No, you can't smoke," Ben told him. "I have asthma and I left my inhaler back at the cottage."

"You, like Gia, are lame."

"That's okay. I don't mind being lame."

Logan shook his head and walked away from us. Ben shrugged. "Well, I've got a doctoral thesis that won't write itself."

"Thanks for your help."

"Don't mention it," he replied and then he was gone. He was so good at walking away from me and leaving me unsatisfied. Why had he gone to Cambridge? I knew he'd considered it as an option but he had discarded because of me. I thought he'd gone to work for his father and Kyle had never told me anything differently. But I'd never asked Kyle where Ben was or what he was doing. All I knew was that they saw each other occasionally. I'd always simply assumed that it was somewhere in Michigan. I'd never even thought about the idea that Ben might leave me and then leave his family. He was always the loyal, dutiful son; he didn't let his father down. This man broke up with me because his family didn't want us to be together. Or at least, that was what I'd always believed. It was time for a good, long talk with Jenna and Kyle; they'd both been holding out on me.

* * *

Ben confused me. He had moved to St. Louis to get his master's degree after breaking up with me. I'd always thought that he'd stayed in Michigan dancing on his father's pleasure. I never thought that he would go away to grad school and just run out on his dad's company. And I wanted to know why he did that. Why would he break up with me after his dad told him to but then he doesn't run off to join the family company? Why didn't he tell me what he was doing? Why didn't anyone ever tell me what he was doing? I was his ex-girlfriend after all! I deserve to know these sorts of things. He ended it; I still loved him but he wanted his damn ring back so I gave it back. I'll never understand men. I used to ask my dad or Kyle to explain men to me but then I decided that dating a guy isn't like ordering a cup of Starbucks coffee; you can't assume that just because it's a male it will have soy milk, three pumps of mocha syrup, and two shots of espresso in it. It might have two pumps of mocha or maybe it's not really mocha and then instead of soy milk you have real milk but you're lactose intolerant and you just can't handle that. Being with Ben was something like that. It wasn't poisonous; it was just confusing and not quite what I expected. It was kind of like the day that I found out that Santa Claus wasn't real. I had trusted him and believed him and grown close to him. And then I found out that he'd been lying to me. But his lies were worse than the day I found out that Santa Claus wasn't real. My parents had told me the Santa Claus story for a good reason, with good intentions. They wanted to foster a belief in basic human goodness in me. Ben wasn't trying to make me believe in a spirit of giving or anything like that. No, he was just playing with my emotions and then running off to St. Louis and blaming his parents for the fact that he's commitment-phobic.

At this point, I should mention that my parents never told me that there was such a person as Santa Claus. So I just spent the past four chapters and Sophia's insertion into my tale building your trust. You believed me. And then, I lied to you. I told you that my parents lied to me. But they didn't. My mom told me when I was four that some children believe in Santa Claus who represents the Spirit of Giving and Kindness and brings them their Christmas presents. Our Christmas presents, however, came from Mamma and Daddy. And they were very clear with us about that. (Just so we're all clear; none of this story except the bit about Santa Claus is a lie. I was just trying to make a point.) And when I was in first grade, Peter Burton announced in the middle of library one day that Santa Claus wasn't real. There are kids who are still pissed off at him twenty-two years later for "tragically shattering our innocence" as Josh says. Josh could be a writer; oh wait, he is. And yes, I went to first grade with Josh Cole and Jenna Harville. Strangely, none of us met Kyle until we were in college. And that was when we all met Ben too. Well, I met him first and then introduced him to everyone else. Then I dated him for three years and he lived with Kyle and David for those same three years. Then he was kind enough to break my heart and I was sweet enough to throw his engagement ring in his face. But then he was the one who asked me to marry him and then three weeks later told me that he wasn't ready to get married and could he, please, have his ring back? He was very sorry about the whole thing but it just wouldn't work for us to get married right now. Lousy bastard…

I don't hate Ben Christianson. I just don't understand him. What kind of guy spends three solid years wooing a girl and promising to always love her even though his family won't and then asks her to marry him but takes it back three weeks later? A lousy bastard, that's the kind of guy. But never in the four years that I knew him did I ever suspect Ben of being that guy. He fooled everyone-my family, my friends, and me. He was always the perfect gentleman. My mom loved him and wanted to adopt him. My dad said that if I ever broke up with Ben, he was going to dump me and adopt Ben. And then, when he dumped me, we all sat there and tried to figure out what we'd missed. My dad had loved Ben like the son he never had and with four daughters in his house, he'd always wanted a son. Now, he has Karl. And my younger sisters are both in serious relationships. And Dad is a big fan of both Aidan and Nick. But he also judges them much more cautiously post-Ben. He never trusted anyone with his girls and Ben just made that ten times worse. But both guys have been patient with Dad and are making progress. Aidan is absolutely devoted to Isa and Nick adores Stella. I don't think that either one of them will hurt one of my sisters. But I'm still leery, nervous. I never thought Ben was capable of what he did. He made me pancakes every Saturday for three and a half years. But maybe Aidan and Nick are really better men than Ben was when we were together. But Aidan is David Gilbert's younger brother and I think David has probably taught his brother a lot about how to treat a woman. But Ben doesn't have anyone to do anything like that for him. His dad is a self-centered, power-mongering asshole and that's the only real male influence he's ever really had. Oh sure, he used to live with Kyle and David but that doesn't mean that made a permanent impression on him. I would wager that it didn't. Kyle and David aren't that much like Ben. Ben is the guitar-playing, Frisbee-loving studious one. Kyle also plays guitar, usually while watching ESPN or the History Channel and with something, usually a pencil, clenched in his teeth. (Side note: He has NO clue why he clenches the pencil but he looks really adorable doing it.) David plays the guitar but that's when he's not playing hockey or talking about hockey or being a doctor or telling his patients about hockey. Katie, his wife, often finds him watching a Detroit Red Wings game while playing his guitar. Before their daughter was born, David was very vocal about the fact that if they had a boy he wanted to name his son either after one of the Beatles (preferably Paul or George) or after one of the Red Wings or a great former Red Wing such as Gordy Howe. Instead, he has a beautiful baby girl named Elinor Susanna and he is quite happy with that and madly in love with her.

But Ben was still single, writing his PhD thesis. He didn't seem to be very happy these days but he wasn't tangled up with me anymore. He could run around pleasing his family now. And he could marry some girl that James and Adelaide actually liked; every time I was near them, Adelaide would sit there. I suddenly found myself wondering if he still called them by their first names instead of calling the Mom and Dad like normal people do. That had always struck me as really weird but he had told me that he didn't think of them as parents but more donors who let him live with them. His nannies were his parents. And I'd heard Carissa call them James and Adelaide over the past few days. I didn't understand the Christianson family at all.

* * *

Thursday night, we had dinner at the Mastersons' house. Mike and Karen Masterson were really great people and I wasn't quite sure where Logan had come from. Nolan was a great guy, Chris was fun, Danielle was cute, and Cassie was friendly but your typical fourteen-year-old girl. But Logan was just something else. He drove me nuts; he came on too strongly. I preferred subtlety. While Logan was asking me on which shoulder I would prefer to wear my parrot if I were a pirate (but not a Somali pirate, Cassie piped up) I was thinking about how David and Kyle had wooed their wives. I was completely positive that neither one of them had ever asked Katie or Jenna anything about pirates nor parrots until things were pretty serious. But here I was with a guy I'd known for six days and he thought that I was the kind of girl who actually liked hearing "Can I have your phone number? I lost mine."

"No," was my reply.

"Do you have a map? I'm lost in your eyes," he tried again.

I wished Kyle was there because he would have no hesitation about punching Logan. Instead, I glared at him and said, "I have a perfect sense of direction. I never need maps."

"Do your feet hurt?" was his next attempt.

"Let me guess," I said cutting him off. "I've been running through your mind all day."

"How'd you know? Have you heard that before?"

I rolled my eyes. "Logan, everyone has heard those before. When I was in college, my friends and I used to mess around with pick-up lines as jokes."

"I just want your attention."

"Have you ever heard of a conversation?"

"But I have to get it started. I have to get your attention somehow."

"Ask me about my job."

"Medicine is disgusting," he replied. "You just make money off poor sick people and monopolize on their misfortunes."

"So why do you want to spend time with me?"

"You're hot."

I'm pretty sure that I heard Ben scoffing at that and I could practically hear his eyes rolling in their sockets. Okay, so Logan is not classy. And he isn't my type. And he isn't fun. But I can't get rid of him. Maybe I should look up an exterminator in the phone book. That's what my parents' neighbors did when they had a termite infestation. And Logan is almost as bad as termite infestation. But I flirted with him over the weekend and now he won't leave me alone. He'd be a lot easier to handle if there were other girls around. Oh good God! He'll try to go after Katelyn next week. I need to warn Kyle; he'll kill Logan for sure then. And Jenna's younger sister, Natalie, will be there. I need to call Kyle; I forgot to call him back on Tuesday night and he doesn't appreciate being ignored.

"Did it hurt?" Logan asked interrupting my thoughts.

"When I fell from heaven?" I retorted sharply and stood up. "I'm going to see if your mom needs any help in the kitchen."

"Relax, baby," he said from the couch where he was lounging. "I'm just playing with you. I want you to relax and get comfy with me."

"You're not my type," I replied.

He scoffed. "I'm everyone's type."

"I find that hard to believe," Chris said.

"Hey, have you ever seen anyone shoot me down?"

"How often do I go out with you? I hate clubs and I already have a girlfriend."

Nadia beamed at that and wrapped her arm protectively around her boyfriend. "Oh sweetie," she cooed, leaning her head against his shoulder.

I smiled wryly and leaned back in my chair. I took a sip of wine and stole a glance a Ben. He was chatting with Karl about the movie of his mother's book. Apparently, filming was progressing well and his mom was thrilled about that. "But my dad's company has to close; they have no other options. And that means that my mom has to find a new editor and a new publisher."

"I can imagine that's probably creating some stress in your parents' house," Karl replied.

Ben shrugged. "My parents don't live together currently. My mother is in Vancouver to be near the movie shoot and my dad is in Detroit. And I don't live with them or see them much anymore."

"Oh really?" was my brother-in-law's surprised response.

"No, I moved out of their house when I was twenty-two and have only been back twice."

"You've only seen your parents twice in six years?"

Ben shrugged, as if it wasn't that important. "We're not a close family. My sister, Eliot, still lives with my parents but Carissa and I don't have much contact with my parents."

"That's sad," Karl said. "I live far from my family. But Sophia and I still try to see them when we can."

"We come from very different families."

My brother-in-law shrugged and then I lost track of the conversation when Logan came and perched himself on the arm of my chair. He put his arm around my shoulders and leaned his head against mine. It was awkward and I was very uncomfortable but I didn't feel like I could say that out loud. Logan made me very uncomfortable; he's very physical and while I like being touched, I also have a very large personal bubble. Ben respected that. But Logan doesn't; he doesn't seem to have personal boundaries. And I can't stand that. I kind of just want to be with Ben again. But I don't know what he's thinking. And I'm not the kind of girl who makes the first move.

* * *

A/N: Please review! The last chapter didn't get any reviews. I know you guys are reading it and I want to know what you think.


	7. Chapter 6

A/N: I still don't own _Persuasion_. However, I welcome any and all reviews. Thank you so much for all reviews.

_

* * *

I was tired; I'd had a long day. I had just started medical school a few weeks earlier and it was rough going. I just wanted to relax and watch a movie. Jenna and I had talked about inviting Kyle and his roommate s over for dinner and a movie. It was Friday night, which meant sweet freedom for all of us. And that meant Ben would be coming. My fiancé, Ben, I loved saying those words. We were going to get married and I'd be Gianna Maria Christianson, wife of Benjamin James Christianson. We'd finally announced our engagement to Ben's parents on Thursday night and they had not been excited to hear about it. But that didn't matter. We didn't need them. Once I finished medical school and Ben finished grad school, we would be unstoppable. We could both work our way through school; I'd been doing that for years already. We weren't people who needed a luxurious lifestyle; we were simple people. _

"_Hey, Gia," Jenna said walking into the apartment and throwing her purse at the couch; she missed as usual. "How is life?"_

_I smiled. "I'm getting married."_

_She laughed. "Not until next summer, but yeah, you're the first one of us to get married. That's so exciting."_

"_Blech," Katie Joseph said from kitchen where she was starting on dinner. "Some of us are nowhere near getting married. To get married, first you have to have a boyfriend."_

"_You'll have a boyfriend someday soon," Jenna told her. "I'm sure of it."_

"_You're an eternal optimist. You have Kyle."_

"_You had Luke."_

"_Who is a great guy but he is not The Guy. He's just a friend, a really good solid friend. You know what I mean?"_

"_Like Kyle to me?" I asked. _

"_Exactly like that, we're best friends and I want him to approve of the guy I marry some day but I don't want to marry him."_

"_That's how I feel about Kyle."_

_Jenna shook her head. "I want to marry Kyle."_

"_Well, that's your prerogative," I told her. "I want to marry Ben."_

"_You can have Ben. He's a great guy but I could never marry him," Jenna replied, curling up in a chair by the couch. _

_I laughed and then we heard someone knocking on our door. "I've got it," Katie said. A few minutes later, she stuck her head into the living room. "Gia, Ben's here."_

_I ran to the door to see my fiancé standing there in jeans and a tired Michigan t-shirt that desperately needed to be replaced. "Hey, sweetie, what's up?" I asked. "Do you want to come in?"_

_He shook his head. __"I need to tell you something. I'm really sorry about this, Gianna. But after talking with my dad last night, I've realized that there's just too much against us. My parents aren't going to back down and that really scares me. So while I used to say I'd never be the asshole who did this, I'm going to have to ask you for your ring back. We can't be engaged anymore, Gia; we just can't. We can't be together. My parents are pushing against me and I can't handle it. It's never been this bad before. They told me-I can't do this, Gia. I can't. We can't get married; it's just not a good idea."_

_I stared at him. "Is this some sort of a joke?"_

"_No, Gia, I'm really sorry. I really can't marry you. It's just too much."_

_As tears crept into the corners of my eyes, I slowly twisted the ring off my left ring finger and glared at him. "Damn you, Ben Christianson. I love you. I want to marry you. We can conquer your family. But if you don't want to work hard, then you can fuck yourself to fucking hell. I hope you die. I hope you burn alive. I hope you…" And then my voice trailed off. I bit my lip and stared at him. "Go to hell, Ben Christianson. Take your ring and go fuck yourself to hell." _

_And with those parting words, I threw the ring at him and then slammed the door in his face. With that, I crumbled to the floor and started crying. I clung to Katie as I sobbed for what seemed like hours until Jenna told us to go to the bedroom while she called Kyle and David to cancel our dinner plans. Instead, they and Josh showed up wanting to know where Ben was so that they could kill him. Then Jenna made them leave and let me call my parents and Sophia. And then I cried more. I didn't want to move on. I didn't want another guy in my life. I just wanted Ben back._

* * *

I may not be the sort of girl who makes the first move but I'm also not the kind of girl who sits idly by and watches things whirl out of control. I like protecting other people and helping them. That's part of why I became a doctor. I have some secret desire to be Superman or something; or at least, that's what Sophia always said when we were kids and I was always fixing everyone's injuries. I've never been afraid of blood-except in people's eyes. And I'm not afraid of needles, except in my spine. I can put them in other people's spines if I have to do a spinal tap or an epidural. But you can keep them the hell away from me. I'd rather go through the pain of natural childbirth than have an epidural. I'm not a wimp; I'm just weird. I don't like being in pain or watching the people I love endure pain. I also don't like people who make other people endure pain. But I've never really gotten over Ben Christianson. Thusly, I find myself in a moral dilemma of sorts. I love him but I can't forgive him for breaking my heart. And I don't know why he broke my heart. It's all very complicated. Love really does stink.

* * *

Saturday morning, our plan was to leave at nine in the morning-on the nose. So we told Chris, Logan, and Nolan to be there at eight-thirty. Ben told Carissa to be there at eight. Lying works best with some people. And it wasn't even really lying; it was just stretching the truth to make sure that they were actually there on time. Some people have no concept of time and thusly would make awful doctors. I had finally talked to Kyle on Friday night and he was looking forward to our visit. "I'm hoping that you can spend some time with Josh. He's driving me crazy."

"I'll see what I can do. But I'm not sure what I can do or say."

"I know," he had replied. "But I still want you to try. You've known him since kindergarten."

I sighed and ran a tired hand through my hair. "And I've never understood him. This is the guy who became a recluse and antisocial after Allyson died. He used to be outgoing and the life of the party."

"And then my sister died. Trust me, Gia; I know all of it. He moved in with us and it was supposed to be for a few weeks, a month at most. And now he won't leave."

"Have you tried hinting to him?"

Kyle snorted. "We've both hinted that he might want to move forward with his life and he got mad at us for suggesting that he forget Ally. He gets defensive and angry whenever we tell him that he might want to find another place to live. He thinks that if he moves out of our house, he'll be betraying Ally and he can't bear the idea of hurting her or betraying her."

"As I recall, he was the one who wanted to order pizza and beer when Ben dumped me."

"That was him. I think he wanted to watch some baseball game or something."

I laughed. "At least I know where I stand with him."

Kyle laughed. "Oh, Gianna, Josh cares about you. You two are good friends."

"Oh yeah, I know. We just don't always see eye-to-eye on everything. Like, we disagree on how to handle a broken heart."

"Josh disagrees with most people he knows on that subject."

"This is true."

"Katie argues with him about it every time she sees him."

I laughed. "I've heard her do it. I love it."

"I don't think David appreciates it."

"He doesn't like it," I replied. "But he appreciates what she has to say. He knows that what he did was wrong. He just doesn't like being reminded of it constantly. And Katie doesn't remind him of it constantly."

"She's actually quite good about it. And David and Luke are friends."

"And Norah is completely out of the picture."

"She could die and I wouldn't even know."

He laughed. "David said that just yesterday."

And then I laughed a real laugh, a whole belly laugh like I hadn't laughed in ages and ages. I don't laugh as much as I should. And I really haven't been laughing much lately; Logan doesn't really inspire much laughter on my part. I miss drinking wine and watching old movies with Jenna and Katie and their husbands. There's nothing wrong with beer but I'm not much of a beer person and Logan loves his Miller Lite. I don't get that. When my friends drink beer, they look for something a little fancier, a little nicer with a little more taste. Life needs flavor.

* * *

Ben was waiting for me by my car with a blue duffel bag and his guitar at eight-forty-five on Saturday morning. "No one else is ready yet," he told me. "Chris overslept. Logan is hung-over. Carissa is doing her make-up and worrying about Jayden. And Nolan is making sure his parents know how to take care of Jayden. I'm sorry."

I shrugged and used my key to unlock the truck. "Throw your stuff in there. If they aren't here in twenty minutes, we'll just give them the map and directions and they can follow later. I can't be late."

He nodded and threw his bag in the trunk and then I put mine in next to it; then he put the guitar in the trunk. "So, you still have the same old Sentra?" he asked.

"Emma Perpetua still runs just fine," I replied with a smile. "She isn't perfect but she gets the job done."

"Does Logan know that you drive this car?"

"Does it matter?" I replied. "Kyle drove the same car from his sixteenth birthday until the day that car died almost ten years later. You fall in love with your first car and it's impossible to let it go."

He nodded. "That's especially true if you're the sort of person who names her cars."

I shrugged and leaned against my car-my faithful 1996 Nissan Sentra that I'd bought about ten years earlier. Jenna and I named it Emma Perpetua and I loved "her" dearly. "I name my cars, my cell phones, my computers, and my stethoscope. And Kyle names things too."

"And you renamed him."

I giggled. "It's not my fault that I went to high school with Kyle Elizabeth Merchant and then met Kyle James Harville in college."

"So you spent how many years calling him Kyle Elizabeth on accident?"

I shrugged again. "It's just not my fault."

He smiled. "I'm sure."

"No, it would just slip out. I always meant to call him Kyle James but Elizabeth would just sneak past my mental censors."

We were bantering easily. Is this really what talking to your ex-boyfriend is supposed to be like? It was so easy to talk to him. I didn't know it could be this easy to talk to him. I thought it would be awful, like having teeth drawn or something. But Katie and Luke are still friends after they broke up. He and David are even friends; heck, Luke was in David and Katie's wedding. Maybe there is some hope for Ben and me. Maybe we can be friends.

At nine o'clock, Nolan came outside to tell us that there was no way Chris, Logan, and Carissa could be ready to leave for Alpena on time. So I gave them the directions and remembered that Nolan's 2008 Lincoln Navigator had GPS and he had a cell phone. There was almost no way they could get lost. If Logan were driving, they'd get lost even with the GPS and all the cell phones in the world. But Nolan is a pretty reliable guy.

* * *

And this all meant that I had to spend three hours alone in a car with Ben. Jenna was guaranteed to be giving me crap the minute we got to Long Lake. She thought that Ben and I should let bygones be bygones and get back together. I disagreed and we had argued about it. Ben and I couldn't argue or disagree during the next three hours. We would both have to play nice. I didn't know what we could talk about. Maybe we would be able to talk about the same stuff we used to talk about years ago. But I didn't know. I was worried.

"So do you know if David and Katie are coming this weekend?" was Ben's first question once we were on the open road.

I shook my head. "I know Katie's parents are coming but I don't know about David, Katie, and Elinor."

"I haven't seen David in years," he said. "After college, I moved away and we lost track of each other."

"But you and Kyle stayed in contact."

He shrugged. "Kyle and David are very different people. I think David was hurt by the way I ended things with them."

"You just left when the lease ended?"

"Yeah, and that wasn't right. I should have warned them but I was a wuss back then. I just ran off to St. Louis without warning anyone. I sent them a check to cover my last couple months of rent after I left."

"Why did you go to St. Louis?"

"I got sick of my parents' bullshit. My mom's brother is a mechanic in the Houston area and my mom always mocks him and ignores him. And then during our senior year of college, my mom published a book called Below the Light about a wealthier single mom who marries a mechanic and they have this beautiful love story. It was this amazing story but it was a load of horseshit. Adelaide would never approve of that romance in real life; it just looked great in her book."

I nodded. "You just took off. No one ever knew what happened. Josh, David, and Kyle were just left in the lurch."

"And so were you. I messed a lot of things up that summer. I really should have done a lot of things differently."

This was not the conversation I had expected. I figured we'd discuss books and the weather and maybe music. I never thought he'd talk about our former relationship. "If you could do it all over, what would you change?"

"Everything," he replied. "I would have been honest with all of you. I would have handled it all differently."

"Would you still have asked me to marry you?"

He took a deep breath and I was sure that he was going to say no. "Yes, but after that I should have stood up to my parents. Instead, I broke up with you and ran off to St. Louis. Breaking up with you was my first mistake."

I couldn't breathe or think. Ben Christianson was sitting in my passenger seat admitting that ending our engagement had been his first mistake. This could not be happening to me. This was not something I had planned for my vacation. I took a few deep breaths, well more like rapid gulps of air and then looked Ben. He was looking at me as if he was expecting a response. So I took another gulp of air. I wanted to say "Are you kidding?" but instead "Oh fuck" was all that slipped out.

"Are you all right?" he asked slowly.

"Am I all right?" I repeated. "You just told me that breaking up with me was your first mistake. What am I supposed to say to that?"

"I don't know. I'm not asking you to take me back right now or anything like that. I know that I must have hurt you horribly. Kyle slammed my head into a wall when he found out what had happened."

I smiled. "I figured he would. He's a rather protective older brother."

"David broke my nose."

"He told me. He was rather proud of himself at the time."

"And then he told me to go to hell and rot there. He also told me he hoped I had a nice life since he had no intentions of ever seeing me or speaking to me again. And he's pretty much held to that. That's why I haven't heard much from David in the past six years. He's mad at me."

"I don't blame him," I said. Internally, I was smiling; I have some amazing friends.

"I don't blame him either," Ben replied. "I rather think I deserved it. I handled everything wrong. I should have told my parents to go to hell when they told me to break up with you."

"Why did you listen to them?"

"I was afraid of my dad. I'd planned on working for him as an editor until I figured out what I wanted to do with my life. And then he told me that I had to break up with you or he would fire me. So I broke up with you. When I told James that, he said he was glad to see me finally learning to value business over people. That same day, I found out that I had been accepted into the grad school at Washington University. So I tucked my tail between my legs and ran away from everyone. I told my dad to take his job and go to hell. I told him that I was done with his game and I wasn't taking any more money from him. I figured that if you could support yourself, so could I. And then I went to St. Louis. I finished my Master's in two and a half years. And then I went to Chicago to get my PhD and I've been there for the past three and a half years. I'm almost done with my PhD and I've been accepted to teach at the University of Michigan starting in September. And I've basically cut my parents out of my life. I saw them at Carissa's wedding and a few other things that Carissa has insisted that I attend. But I'm liberating myself from them."

"Good for you," I replied. This was an awful lot of information to get all at once. I was overwhelmed and I didn't know what to think. He had dumped me because of his family but then he had walked away from them too. "You really are good at walking away."

He sighed. "I'm really sorry about it, Gianna. I shouldn't have yielded so easily. I should have fought more. I never should have ended our engagement."

Tears pricked the corners of my eyes. "I'm trying to drive," I said feebly.

"I know," he said.

"This isn't fair."

"And what about Logan, is that fair?"

I sighed. "I had no idea that was going to turn out like that. It was just a game."

"Logan clearly wants more."

"Logan doesn't know what he wants," I protested. "And we both know that."

Ben nodded and smiled. "True, but you have to be careful. You can't just throw yourself around like anybody's business."

"I'm twenty-eight years old. I know that."

He nodded again; with all the nodding, he was starting to remind me of a bobble-head doll. "I know you know that. But, Gianna, I don't want you to get hurt or to see you get entangled in some ridiculous mess involving some guy who doesn't deserve you."

"And since when do you have any say in this?" I asked. "You walked out of my life six years ago."

"And you're the one who slammed the door behind me."

I glared at him and gripped the steering wheel tightly. "There was a reason I did that. What would you have done in my situation?"

"Told me to go to hell and slammed the door in my face," he replied sheepishly.

I sat there in silence for a few moments, just thinking about that and letting him think about it. I looked over at him and wasn't really surprised to see him staring out the window. He knew I was right and so did I. But that didn't really change much. So he was sorry. What did that mean for us?

"I feel like Holly Golightly," I said. "And I'm not sure why."

He looked at me. "You're talking about _Breakfast at Tiffany's_, right?"

I nodded. "I feel like Holly did when he told her he loved her."

"Didn't she say 'so what'?"

"Yep, that's how I feel. So what? What is all of this supposed to mean to me?"

"I don't know. I need you to know that I'm very sorry for everything and that I know that I messed up. I handled it all badly and I should have been honest with my parents and with you. I never should have ended our engagement."

"Do you know how much I hated you when you told me we couldn't get married?"

"I can only guess," he replied. "You had every right to hate me. I did something horrible to you. You didn't deserve to have me walk out on you like that."

I was crying and I felt like a mess, a disaster. "You broke my heart," I shot back. "And no one deserves that. I was so angry with you, so hurt, and so confused. I wondered what was wrong with me. I thought I had done something wrong."

"You were, are perfect. It really wasn't you. It really was all me."

I sighed. This was a lot to handle in one car-ride. It was just the two of us and six years of water under the bridge. He had broken my heart six years ago. We had been so close for four years. We were friends. We dated. He asked me to marry me. And then we broke up. I was miserable for a year, then I was fine for five years, and then he waltzed back into my life. And after a week of awkwardness, we were suddenly spilling our emotions when we were alone in my car together-for three hours.

* * *

We got to Long Lake just after noon. Kyle and Jenna had just gotten there themselves; and after letting us throw our bags in our respective bedrooms, we all had lunch. After lunch, Jenna and I took little Gianna and Ava to the beach to play in the sand while Kyle and Ben had a talk. Kyle said they were going to help Jenna's dad get the boats in the water but I knew that was just a "manly task to fulfill" while they had a serious conversation. Jenna wanted to talk to me as well. We knew that the others would be getting there around two or two-thirty. So I had my cell phone with me and wasn't really looking forward to their coming. But I'd invited them and I couldn't change anything now. Nolan and Chris would be fine. Logan would be absurd and awful. And Carissa would whine. In short, it would be painful. And I didn't want to deal with it after my conversation with Ben. I wanted to talk about it. I wanted to know more. I wanted to think about it in peace. But as my mom always told me when I was a kid, you can't always get what you want. Oh Mamma, why didn't I listen to you more?

* * *

A/N: Please review!


	8. Chapter 7

A/N: I do not own _Persuasion_. I don't even own the chair in which I'm sitting. Be that as it may. I love my reviewers and am so grateful to you for your comments.

* * *

Logan found his way to the beach within five minutes of his arrival at Long Lake. He sat down next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "Hey, babe, I've missed you. How are you? I hope Ben didn't bore you to death on your way up here."

I shook my head quickly. "We had a really interesting conversation. It was good."

He looked at me with surprise written on his face. "What could you two talk to each other about?"

"Many things," I replied.

He snorted. "Name one."

"The weather," I shot back.

"Not fair, anyone can talk to everyone about the weather. Name one that's more in-depth."

I sighed. "We discussed the historical impact of events during the later years of the Clinton presidency and the early years of the Bush presidency on modern affairs."

"What was your conclusion?"

"That people who stick their noses where they don't belong should have their noses cut off their faces," I replied and then tickled little Gianna Harville who was sitting in my lap. I hoped that my comment would give him the clue that he was intruding where he was not wanted. However, I had apparently forgotten that this was Logan with whom I was dealing.

He kissed my cheek. "Let's ditch the kids and go have some fun together."

"Logan, I'm spending some time with my best friend, Jenna, and her daughters. And I'd really appreciate it if you would stop touching me." I removed his arm from my shoulders and stood up with Gianna in my arms.

"You're so difficult."

"Look, Logan," Jenna said. "If she wants you to leave her alone, just do it. It's called respecting her."

"I want you, Gianna. I don't know how to make that clearer to you."

I sighed and adjusted my goddaughter and namesake on my hip. "And I don't want you, Logan. You're not what I want or what I need."

"But I want you!" he said coming to stand in front of me. "You're so beautiful and smart and I want that."

"Logan, you barely know me."

"I know enough about you to know that I want you. You're beautiful and you're smart and you're fun."

"And I'm a bitch when I'm stressed. I work twelve hours a day most of the time. I cannot stand smokers and I refuse to ever date or kiss one. I sleep during most of my free time. And I need to be with a man who is highly motivated, like I am."

"I can stop smoking. I can be highly motivated."

I sighed. "And I want to be with a man who won't change himself to be with me. I can't be with someone who becomes someone else just to be with me. I want a man who is completely himself with me. And that isn't you."

He wanted to protest but then Ben and Kyle showed up. I watched as Ava clambered out of her mother's lap and ran to her father who immediately scooped her into his arms and kissed her cheek. Seeing that, Gianna looked at me. "Daddy, please?" she asked.

I had no choice but to take her over to her dad. Kyle took her and adjusted Ava so that he could hold his two daughters in his arms. Seeing the way he looked at his daughters made me want to be a mother. I wished things were different, were simpler. I wanted to marry Ben and have a family with him. I didn't want to sit on beaches while Logan tried to convince me that he was The One for me. But he wasn't. I really think that you only find true love once a lifetime. Maybe it's different for some people-for very specific people. But I am not one of those people. I fell in love once. And we both made mistakes. The relationship ended and now we're both alone-unless you count Logan; I don't. But I think Ben does. I think it really bothers him to see Logan bothering me. I also worry that he thinks I'm genuinely interested in Logan. Oh dear lord, no, I just want the guy to leave me alone. I need a responsible man who respects me and I'm not sure Logan knows what respect or responsible means. I doubt he could even find them in the dictionary. I wonder if he even knows what a dictionary was. I knew people who owned complete unabridged dictionaries; I called them dorks. But they knew where to find things in the dictionary. I doubted Logan's ability to do so much.

"Ben and I were thinking that some grocery shopping needed to be done," Kyle said. "And we were going to volunteer to do child care so that Gianna and Jenna could go off together."

Jenna smiled. "That would be great. And that way we can all have dinner tonight."

"We aren't going out for dinner tonight?" Logan asked. "I thought this was a vacation."

"We barbecue on our vacations," Kyle replied handing Gianna to Ben and then adjusting Ava on his hip. "We don't really go out to dinner much."

"Lame," Logan replied.

Ben shrugged and Kyle laughed. "I love barbecuing," he replied. "My dad does it all the time and so does Jenna's dad. It's really family thing. Hopefully, I can teach my son someday."

"You only have daughters," Logan replied.

"I'm pregnant," Jenna said. "I might have a boy. You never know."

"There's a fifty-fifty chance," I told her.

"Oh, Jen," Kyle said suddenly. "Your parents and Natalie just got here. You might want to take Natalie with you to the store."

I grinned and Jenna laughed. "I think Gianna wants to see my crazy baby sister."

"And she could help us shop," I said. "But I never see Natalie and I'd love to see her."

* * *

"Gianna Napolitano, I have NOT seen you in for-FREAKING-ever!" were the first words out of Natalie Fleming's mouth when she saw me walking towards her parents' cabin.

"It's great to see you, Nat," I said, hugging her. "You're looking fabulous."

She grinned; she really did look fabulous. Natalie Fleming is the youngest of Jenna's siblings. She's twenty-one and the perkiest person I know. She has short (dyed) auburn hair and bright blue eyes. And she was casually dressed in khaki shorts and a bright blue tank top. Natalie is studying pharmacy at Michigan State University, the rebel of the family. All of the Fleming children have gone to the University of Michigan except for her. But thankfully, she had continued the trend of medical professions. All three of Jenna's brothers are doctors, Jenna is a nurse, and her older sister, Carrie, is a physical therapist. Her dad is a doctor; I actually work at his practice. It's quite wonderfully convenient. Dr. Fleming also inspired me to become a doctor and now I work with him; it's pretty amazing.

"And look at you, Gia," Natalie said. "You are so adorable. How on earth are you still single?"

I laughed. "I'm a workaholic, Natalie. According to your sister, I have no time for anything or anyone except my work."

"Yeah and Dad agrees with me," Jenna inserted. "He says you need to get married and get out of the house more."

I sighed; I was being attacked on all sides. "Most married people I know don't get out of the house more now that they're married."

"Okay, I think it was really get married or get out of the office/hospital more. But face it, darling; you work too much. It's pathetic and sad."

I sighed. Being the single friend can be difficult. All of your happily married friends think that you need to join them in that state of life. They don't understand that you're a workaholic. They don't understand that to get ahead in your career you need to devote your life to your work. And if you try to explain it to them, they ignore you because they really just want you to get married. "Jenna, if you can find me a husband, I'll get married. Until then, I'm quite happy as I am."

"Oh horse-hockey," Natalie said, repeating a favorite line of Colonel Potter's from _MASH_. "You're not happy single. You'd love to be married and have a family. You're a workaholic because you're alone. If you had someone to come home to after work, you'd work less."

Did I mention that Natalie is observant and astute? Well, she is. "Nat, you're right," I said. "Now let's go grocery shopping and talk about something other than my tragic mess of a personal life."

"Mess?" she repeated. "Your personal life is a stagnant pool of nothingness. It's drab, boring, and blah."

"Oh thanks," I sighed climbing into the front passenger seat of Kyle's Saturn VUE. I hate discussions about my personal life.

Thankfully, Natalie and Jenna spent our entire drive to the IGA discussing possible names for Jenna's baby who was due in September. Jenna liked Nicholas or Dominic for a boy and Elizabeth or Grace for a girl while Natalie preferred Carson or Hunter for a boy and Mia or Nina for a girl. "But it's my baby," Jenna protested. "I can name him or her any name I want."

"I do believe Kyle has a say in this," I reminded her.

"Okay, yes, but I don't think my sister does."

"I'm just giving you suggestions," Natalie replied. "I happen to like Carson and Hunter as names."

"So have your own kid and name him Carson or Hunter. I really don't like the sound of Hunter Harville."

"It's alliterative," Natalie protested.

"Kyle hates alliteration," I told her. "Your sister wanted to name Ava 'Hannah' but her husband protested that it was torture to use alliteration when naming your children."

Natalie sighed and Jenna laughed. "So Hunter is out. What do we think about Nicholas or Dominic?"

"I like Nicholas," I said. "But I kind of always wanted to name one of my sons Nicholas."

"Funny," Jenna said. "Ben said the same thing earlier today."

"So I just saw him for a minute but Ben is really a looker," Natalie remarked. "I haven't seen him since I kicked Gianna to the curb but he definitely got better looking with time."

"So I was kicked to the curb?" I asked, looking around into the backseat. "Nat, you never use the pretty, politically correct terms, do you?"

She cringed. "Oh man, I just open my mouth and insert my foot. Sorry, Gia; I just meant that I haven't seen him since you two went your separate ways and while he always was good-looking, he has definitely improved with age."

"I guess so," I said. "I haven't really looked at him that much."

"Oh come on," Natalie retorted. "Gianna, don't tell me that. He's your ex-boyfriend and you loved him really and truly. Okay, sure, I was only fifteen when you guys broke up but I remember. You loved his hair and you loved him. I heard you telling Jenna how gorgeous you thought he was. You've noticed; you're just pretending that you haven't."

Remember what I said about her being astute and observant? It comes from a lifetime of eavesdropping and overhearing. I remember seeing her as she hid behind doors and watched as her older siblings dated and got engaged and then married. She had learned a lot. She had watched Ben and me back in our day. Thereby, she knew a lot.

Jenna looked at me and I looked back at her. "What?" I asked. "I don't want to deal with this."

"Well, if you're over him, you won't mind if I make a play for him?" Natalie asked as her sister pulled into a parking spot.

I jumped out of the car and rounded on her. "You wouldn't dare. Natalie Denise Fleming, you wouldn't dare do that."

She shrugged. "He's a great guy. From what I've heard, he's grown up a lot in the past six years. And he's handsome."

"He's my ex-fiancé!" I yelled. "He's mine!"

She stood there with her arms crossed over her chest and stared at me, those deep and serious blue eyes, just watching me. "I thought so. But I needed to make sure. You needed to know how you felt. You need to be more honest with yourself, Gianna." She patted my shoulder. "Don't lie to yourself. Lying isn't pleasant."

I glared at her and sighed. "You little rat," I said. "You were playing me."

She shrugged. "I just needed to confirm my suspicions."

"Go become a psychologist or something," I snapped at her. "Just don't mess with me or my personal life."

"Or lack thereof," she smirked.

I sighed. "Let's split the grocery list up. We'll get done faster."

Jenna carefully tore the list in half. "Natalie, you're on your own. Gianna, you are with me."

As soon as we had a cart and were away from Natalie, Jenna sighed. "She didn't do it in the best way but she is right."

I sighed. "Why am I the bad guy here? Ben is the one who ended our relationship six years ago."

"And apparently, earlier today he explained his reasoning to you."

I nodded and looked at her. "So what?"

"Okay, Holly Golightly, you're going to get some hamburger buns off the shelf and listen to me. You've been abusing that poor boy for about a week now. Okay, he broke your heart. Move on with your life. Katie moved on after David asked Norah to the prom and then dated her for two years or whatever it was. You can't always get what you want."

"Katie got what she wanted in the end."

"You're a mule. It's ridiculous." She looked at her list and then at me. "We need some fresh corn on the cob; Mom said twenty should be good. I've known you since kindergarten and we've been best friends since third grade. I think I know you pretty well. And I know what your problem is. You always have to be right and you always want to be in control. You've known what you wanted to do since you were ten years old and you've overcome every obstacle. You're driven and you know what you want. You get rid of everything that gets in your way. That's why you're single and that's why you're a workaholic. And shut up; I know you're going to protest and tell me that things are different with Ben. As my sister would say, that is horse-hockey. You're stubborn. But it's time for you to relax and reevaluate. You have new information now. So sit back and think about it for a while. Don't just keep hating Ben. Okay, now we need strawberries and peaches."

"I admit that I'm a control freak and a workaholic."

"And you're high-maintenance. Ben is willing to handle that and you're just pushing it away. Logan can't handle it; most guys can't handle it. I know Kyle couldn't handle you."

I glared at her. "He's a wimp. I'm not that bad."

She sighed. "You may need a new best friend. You're starting to piss me off and you don't piss off a pregnant woman."

"Go eat an ice cream sundae with pickles on top," I replied.

"Gag me with a spoon."

"Am I really the she-devil you say I am?"

Jenna stopped and looked at me. "I'm not calling you a she-devil. I'm calling you a whiny, self-centered, pampered brat. Oh sure, you've worked hard for everything material you have in your life. But take about two minutes to think about your personal life over the past six years. You've been a brat. It wasn't my fault or Kyle's fault or David's fault or Katie's fault or Sophia's fault or anyone else's fault that Ben bailed on you. That was Ben's mistake. But you've punished your friends and family and every other single guy you've met for what he did to you. And now, you give him no chance to right his wrongs or explain himself; you just judge him and grab Logan and shove him in Ben's face. It's as though you sickly believe yourself entitled to this. You want to hurt him like he hurt you. Guess what, Princess Cupcake? Heartbreak is part of life. We all make mistakes and mess up relationships. But we have to learn from that and grow. Move out of Rapunzel's tower and allow yourself to feel some pain. And, for Pete's sake, stop whining about everything. You're not the only person in the world."

I stopped and looked at her. It was kind of like being slapped. I guess I had gotten used to everyone just pitying me and feeling sorry for me that it never occurred to me that they might have their own opinions on the demise of my relationship with Ben. There may have been a reason why Kyle didn't tell me what he knew about Ben. He knew how much I hated Ben and how badly I wanted to hurt him. I'm a disaster and I need some very serious help.

* * *

That evening, I found myself in the kitchen helping make dinner while Logan and Carissa conspired to drive everyone insane. The Fleming and Harville houses were both always loud and filled with energy and love. But with the Crosses around, it was different. There was little balance. While Kyle, his father-in-law, Ben, Chris, and most of the Fleming brothers were in the front yard barbecuing, Logan was loudly complaining about sunburn and mosquitoes. Carissa was complaining about being bored. And they're both obnoxious. I was making salad and talking to Carrie about her job. Carrie Fleming-Laurence is a physical therapist, which may not sound that exciting but believe me; I love hearing her stories. Carrie is also married and has three kids. But her husband stays home with their kids while she works. It's an interesting dynamic. "Okay, your friends are just obnoxious," Rob Fleming said coming into the kitchen in search of barbecue sauce and lighter fluid.

"What are they doing now?" I asked.

"Babbling about how self-important they are," he replied. "Nolan and Chris are fine. But Carissa is currently telling Natalie about how Nolan wants a divorce. And Logan is whining like a mosquito about getting mosquito bites. If I were you, I'd find new friends."

"Your sister is my best friend, Rob," I replied.

"I know. I've been telling you to find new friends, better friends for ages."

Jenna slugged him. "Watch your mouth, punk. I can still end you."

"I'd like to see that," he replied. "I'm taller than you are now."

"That doesn't mean I don't know where your weak spots are."

He shook the lighter fluid in her face. "Okay, this Christmas we'll have a rematch. I don't fight pregnant women."

"You're not supposed to fight with women, period," Jack Fleming said, coming in and grabbing the lighter fluid from his younger brother's hands. Jack is the oldest Fleming at thirty-two, Carrie is thirty, Jenna is twenty-eight, Rob is twenty-six, Dan is twenty-four, and Natalie is twenty-one.

"Aren't you allowed to make exceptions for sisters?" Rob asked.

"Nope," I told him. "Haven't you heard David Gilbert's story about that?"

"Nope," Rob replied.

"Sarah beat him up from the time he was born until he was like nine and then he could try to get her back. And then he found out that boys weren't supposed to beat up girls."

"That's a sad story," Rob told me.

"I like that story," Jack said.

His younger brother glared at him. "You would. You'll use it on your kids."

"Boys, get out of the kitchen," their mother ordered coming in from the bathroom. "You're taking up space. Go help your father."

"Dad sent me in here to get Rob," Jack protested.

"Yeah, well, instead you stayed to chat. You can do that over dinner. Now, scram!"

Both of her sons sighed but fled the kitchen. "Why did they need lighter fluid?" Carrie asked. "They already got the fire going like half an hour ago. I was here when Dan brought the lighter fluid back."

Her mother sighed. "I should have become a nun. It would have been quieter and less complicated."

* * *

We never did find out why they wanted the lighter fluid. The jug was sitting on the porch when we all came out for dinner. Dinners at Long Lake were always eaten at the picnic table in the front yard. The dining room/living room in the cabins was just too small to fit everyone. That night, the guys brought a picnic table from Kyle and Jenna's cabin over to her parents' yard because there were so many people. There were nineteen adults and then eight children running around. It was chaos and I could see that Logan hated. I loved it; maybe I am a control freak but I can still appreciate the pure rush of joy from holding a baby who is smearing cookie crumbs on my face. I love that feeling, actually. I think I'm more of a control freak about my personal life than I am about messes and things like that. I like chaos, just not in my personal life. I should ask Jenna and Natalie if that analysis of my life is correct.

Ben seemed to be making a real effort with Josh. Most people just get frustrated with Josh and ignore him but Ben was actually talking to him about his job and his plans for his future. And he found out how much Josh read. "You read Emily Dickinson?" he sighed. "I hate her."

"I know," Josh replied. "I remember the paper you wrote for your American poetry class about how much you hated her."

Jenna, Josh, Ben, Kyle, and I all burst out laughing remembering that paper. It was about eight pages long when the assignment had only asked for five or six. And it ranted about Miss Dickinson should have died before she started writing. "She left instructions for her poems to be destroyed upon her death," Ben ranted. "And no one listened to her, which is a great tragedy."

I laughed. "That is a direct quotation from the paper."

"Did you memorize my paper?" he asked with a teasing smile.

"How many times did you ask her to edit that paper?" Kyle asked. "She probably had to memorize it."

"I only gave it to her eight times, as I recall."

Jenna snorted and Josh laughed. "Only eight times?" he repeated. "Ben, I read that paper. Jenna read it. Kyle looked it over. Gia edited it eight times. You had your professor and your advisor read over it."

"Yeah and then it eventually became my senior thesis. It was an amazing paper. I got an A on it, as I recall."

"You did," I said. "And you'd better have gotten an A on it. If you hadn't, I probably would have killed your professor just because of the amount of time and effort I poured into it. It wasn't my paper and I wasn't an English major or minor and I still spent most of my life helping you with that paper."

"You helped him with his paper?" Logan gasped. "Is that legal?"

I shrugged. "I think it's one of the duties of a girlfriend."

"A girlfriend?" Logan, Carissa, Nolan, and Chris all loudly repeated.

Logan looked at me. "You dated HIM?"

I looked Ben, pretending to ponder things. "I think so. He looks a lot like the Ben Christianson I dated, so I'm going to assume they're the same guy."

"Wait," Logan said. "You dated him? Why?"

"Why wouldn't I?" I asked.

By this point, everything else had stopped and everyone-including the babies-was staring at Logan and me. Ben was biting his lower lip and I knew he just wanted to vanish. Carissa looked confused. I knew that Jenna and Natalie were both watching this closely as a "defining moment" in their plans to have Ben regain his former position in my life. "He's so boring," Logan said finally.

"Boring?" I repeated. "Ben Christianson is not boring. He is many things but boring is not one of them."

"I don't understand you at all," Logan said as if he was unaware of his audience. "Why would you be interested in a guy like Ben when I'm around?"

"I dated when I was in college."

"What happened to do the guy who could play Frisbee?"

Ben sighed. "I was the guy who could play Frisbee, you idiot! I dated Gianna for three years in college and then blew it all to hell after we graduated. Then I moved to St. Louis."

"Wait," Carissa said. "Gianna is the girl James and Adelaide made you dump because she didn't meet their standards?"

"Holy fuck, yes!" Ben yelled.

I sighed and buried my head in my hands as everyone continued to watch the drama unfold. This was going to be a long weekend.

* * *

A/N: Yes, I stopped in mid-thought again. But please review!


	9. Chapter 8

A/n: I don't own Persuasion. I just like to play with it. I really appreciate reviews.

* * *

After dinner, we all went to the beach. Dr. Fleming offered to take some of us out on his sailboat. "Or, I think I can trust Gianna or Jenna or Kyle to pilot it by themselves after all these years. Maybe even Rob or Jack could do it alone."

Rob laughed. "Give me the speedboat but don't give me the Galadriel. I can't handle that thing."

"Oh give her to me," Jack replied. "I love her."

"Take turns," his father told him. "You can take her, but let Kyle get a turn. Heck, Gianna should take Ben out and see if he remembers how to handle the Lady."

Ben laughed. "I doubt I can still do it. I haven't been in a sailboat since I was twenty-one."

"It's like riding a bike," Kyle replied. "It always comes back to you."

He shook his head. "I'll try but I'd rather have an old hand like Gianna or you in the boat to make sure I don't kill myself."

"I want a try," Logan inserted.

"Have you ever steered a sailboat before?" Dr. Fleming asked.

"My parents own three," was all of his reply. Chris was off somewhere else talking to Nadia on the phone and Carissa and Nolan had stayed up at the cabin to avoid mosquitoes, so there was no one to verify what he was saying.

Jack went first. He took his wife, Natalie, and Dan with him. Then Kyle went, taking Rob, Josh, and his father-in-law; Jenna sat out on the grounds of pregnancy. And I went last taking Ben, Logan, and Natalie with me. We all took turns steering and everything was fine until it was Logan's turn to steer. It was a windy evening and when that combined with the fact that Logan didn't actually know how to steer a sailboat, we found the boat tipping over. Natalie started swearing and I grabbed the tiller, trying to gain control of everything; maybe I am a control freak after all. But Logan wouldn't release the tiller, so I released it. Having two people fight over something generally just worsens the situation. Ben grabbed my arm just before the boat tipped over. Ben, who was wearing a life jacket, was hanging on to me and holding me in his arms. Natalie and I were both wearing life jackets as well but I could see why Ben had grabbed me. I was right next to him and he cared about me. "Logan!" Natalie screamed and in that moment, Ben and I both realized that in his cocky self-confidence Logan hadn't put on a life jacket. "Tread water," Ben told me before releasing me. I swam quickly to Natalie and we clung to each other while treading water as Ben grabbed Logan and desperately tried to keep his head above water.

* * *

Before I really knew what was happening, I felt myself being lifted up and I was sitting in Dr. Fleming's motorboat, the one that we always used for tubing and water-skiing. The doctor was at the wheel and Jack, Kyle, Rob, Dan, and Carrie's husband, Tony, were pulling us all back into the boat. "Logan needs to go to the hospital," Ben said when we were all in the boat. "He took a blow from the mast when the boat capsized."

"Kyle and I will get the sailboat back, Dad," Jack told his father. They both put on once-bright orange life-vests and jumped into the lake. Before jumping, Kyle squeezed my hand and smiled. Once they were gone, Dr. Fleming sped off towards land.

* * *

Once on land, they decided that the safest bet would be to take all of us to the hospital. "But Logan needs an ambulance," Dr. Fleming said. "The other three don't."

"I'll take them to the hospital," Rob offered. "And you guys can call the ambulance."

"It's probably better just to take them all," his dad said.

Josh was already calling 911 and detailing our predicament to them. "They say keep everyone here and they'll take everyone at once. Is Logan conscious yet?"

"No," Rob replied.

After a few moments' pause, Josh told us that an ambulance was coming, "probably at least two," he said.

I sighed and leaned back against the first solid thing I felt, which just happened to be Ben. He put an arm around my shoulders and I just collapsed. I couldn't handle all of this. "It's my fault," I whispered. "It's all my fault."

He sighed. "No, Logan is just a natural dickhead."

"He wanted to impress me and I was ignoring him."

"Logan is an ass who loves a challenge. You were playing hard to get and he was determined to get you. He took some really stupid risks and now he's paying the cost."

I shook my head. "I'm an idiot."

I looked up to see Rob laughing. He shook his head when I made eye contact with him. And then he smiled again. I glared at him and he just laughed again. Brothers, they're impossible-even when they're your best friend's brothers and not your own. I never had any brothers growing up. Instead, I had Jenna's brothers. Later, I added Josh, Kyle, and David to that roll call. Usually I don't mind all their brotherly teasing but I was tired and overwhelmed and I wanted to sleep. So I shot one more glare at Rob and slumped back against Ben and let the darkness envelope me.

* * *

When I woke up, I found myself in a hospital bed. "You wouldn't respond to the paramedics," Jenna told me when I opened my eyes. "And your vitals were low, so they brought you in to examine you."

"I was just so tired," I told her. "Where is everyone?"

"Logan," she replied. "He has to be admitted. So Carissa is faking a nervous breakdown while Nolan and Chris act confused and Natalie tries to calm them down. And Ben is actually handling everything."

"He's so capable."

"He is an amazing man and you're an idiot."

I glared at her. "So how do I get out of here?"

"They need to make sure that you're not brain-damaged."

"Then shut up when they're checking me over. You seem to think I am brain-damaged."

"You were dropped on your head as a child. I'm sure of it."

I rolled my eyes and leaned back against my pillows. I wanted to go home and sleep. I really just wanted to be back in my bed in Ann Arbor, sound asleep. Instead, I was in the emergency room in Alpena. I moaned. "I'm an idiot, Jenna."

"No shit, Sherlock," she replied as a doctor walked into my room.

The doctor came over to me. "I'm Dr. Jerome," she said. "How are you feeling, Miss Napolitano?"

"Tired," I replied. "But I'm fine."

"Mr. Christianson tells me that you didn't suffer any head injuries when the boat capsized. He said that he thinks you were merely tired and stressed."

I nodded. "I've had a long day. We drove from Uppercross to Alpena this morning and it's been a chaotic week in general."

"What do you do for a living, Miss Napolitano?"

"I'm a pediatrician," I replied. "Well, I'm a third-year resident in pediatrics."

She nodded. "Do you agree with Mr. Christianson then that you're simply tired and stressed?"

"Yes," I replied. "I've been working a lot lately and then I'm on vacation this week. But things haven't exactly gone according to plan."

"What exactly happened when the boat capsized?"

"Logan thought he knew what he was doing and he didn't. He was trying to steer the boat and it was really windy on the lake. The boat capsized."

"That concurs with what Mr. Christianson said."

"Well, I didn't hit my head when the boat capsized!"

She sighed. "You're certainly very argumentative. We have to be careful."

Jenna laughed. "Dr. Jerome, Gianna is always argumentative. She's Italian, stubborn, and feisty."

"She's a regular problem child," Ben said walking into the room. "And I think she's fine. The only reason that she collapsed was simple physical exhaustion. If we take her home and let her sleep, she'll be fine."

"Are you a doctor, Mr. Christianson?" the doctor asked him.

"Not of medicine," he replied slyly. He isn't a doctor of anything-yet. He'd be done with his PhD soon and then he'd be a doctor of English language and literature. But that would mean nothing to this no-nonsense emergency room doctor in a small town.

"Then keep your opinions to yourself," she barked.

Ben sighed and leaned against the wall, his tired arms crossed over his chest. "My father and brother are both doctors," Jenna muttered. "And I'm pretty sure they would release her."

"Well, they're not here."

"Her father is actually upstairs," Ben muttered.

"Shut up, Mr. Know-It-All. I've worked in this hospital for twelve years and I've had it with you big city people who come up here and think you can tell me how to run my emergency room. I could work in one of your big hospitals but I choose to work here in my hometown. I'm loyal to my roots."

"So is Gianna here," Jenna said. "She was born and raised in Ann Arbor. She went to college there. She went to medical school there. And she's still there. She'll always be there."

I smiled as the doctor glared at my best friend. Jenna rested a hand on her pregnant belly; it was late and she needed to rest. We all needed to rest. "I'm a doctor," I said. "And I think I'm fine. And I want to go home."

The doctor turned her glare to me. "Listen. You're a resident."

Ben sighed. "Dr. Jerome, I know that you don't respect us. But I think that Dr. Napolitano knows what she needs."

"Respect you? Why should I respect you? Your friend here capsized a boat."

"Dr. Napolitano did not capsize the boat. That was Mr. Cross, entirely Logan Cross's doing. Dr. Napolitano tried to stop him but failed."

"What could a city girl like her know about boats?"

I sighed. "I've been around sailboats since I was in college. I've been coming up to the lake every summer with the Flemings and I've spent quite a bit of time in that sailboat, on that lake."

"Oh," she gulped.

I sighed. "Now can I please go home? I promise to go right to bed. And then I'll go back to Ann Arbor in the morning."

I needed to get away from Logan. If I stayed in Alpena, he'd undoubtedly think it was for him. I could go back to Uppercross but that was too close to his family. No, I had to go back home. I needed to talk to David and Katie. I needed perspective and a good hard whack over the head.

* * *

It was close to midnight when Kyle, Ben, Jenna, and I got back to the cottage. Nolan had brought Carissa back hours earlier when she started complaining. Only Dr. Fleming and Chris had stayed at the hospital with Logan. He hadn't regained consciousness yet and the doctors were running all sorts of tests to see what was happening in his brain. "Probably nothing," Kyle quipped when we were home. "It doesn't seem like much was ever going on up there, just a desire to impress Gia so she'd sleep with him."

His wife swatted him. "Aren't you Mr. Charitable?"

He shrugged. "The rat has been driving me nuts all day. I've heard all about him from Gia and Ben over the past week and I can't stand the little prick."

I smiled and leaned back into the couch. "We should all get to bed," Jenna said, looking at me.

I nodded and followed her to my bedroom. Once in bed, I was out like a light.

* * *

The next morning, we decided that Ben, Chris, and I would go back to Uppercross to deal with families. Then I would go home. I'd wanted Ben to stay in Alpena if possible but Carissa whined and moaned about how she was much closer to Logan so she needed to stay and not her brother. So after Mass, we packed up the car and drove back to Uppercross in near silence. The only noise was a CD playing classical music. Chris was sleeping and Ben was working on his thesis. "You're always working on that," I said to him.

He shrugged. "It needs to be done. I just want to be done with school and all of this."

"Once you're done with that, you'll be done for good, won't you?"

"Yep, I'll finally be done. Then I can teach and not worry about how well educated I am anymore."

I laughed. "You're brilliant."

"Tell that to a university that would prefer a professor with his PhD."

"You taught high school."

"I know and I liked it. But I really prefer college. Then I don't have to deal with parents and state standards. I can just teach."

I smiled. "Parents make the world ten times more difficult."

"Hey now, you have great parents. Imagine growing up with James and Adelaide."

I looked at him. "Did they interfere in school or doctor's appointments?"

"They gave us hell if our grades didn't live up to their expectations. They didn't care about much of the important stuff but the superficial stuff sure as hell mattered."

"But you got into U of M and met me."

"I'm naturally smart."

I laughed. "I'm sure you are. But going to U of M was a great thing for you. It brought good people into your life."

"People who I then kicked to the curb when I needed them most," he replied bitterness consuming his voice.

"I'm not someone who should be lecturing anyone on their mistakes right now," I told him. "We all screw up. Look at what I did with Logan."

He turned and looked at me. He stopped typing and just looked at me. The silence consumed the car and I sighed. We had such a history together, so many memories and so many emotions. We'd both made mistakes and I wasn't sure how we were supposed to fix it. You can't rewrite the past. There's no magic delete key for life.

"I shouldn't have done that," I told him.

"We all do things we shouldn't have done," he replied. "It's part of life."

I sighed. "I just wish I could change it."

"You can't change the past."

"I know," I said frustration seeping into my voice. "It's just upsetting. I want to do things differently, to be a better person."

"We all want that but we have to learn from our mistakes."

"You sound like my mother."

"How is your mother? How is your whole family?"

I looked over at him. "Everyone is well. You saw Sophia and poor Karl. My parents are both still working and loving it. Isa is dating Aidan Gilbert and in her last year of law school. And Stella is dating this guy named Nick and working as an accountant."

"I can't believe that Stella is an accountant," he said. "It sounds so boring and she's so vivacious."

"My dad asked her if she knew what accountants did when she started studying accounting."

Ben laughed. "Where did she go to school?"

"Grand Valley," I replied.

He nodded. "Did Isa go to Michigan?"

"Yep, Stella was the only one to break tradition."

"I like the fact that your family has traditions like that."

I laughed. "I like that my family has traditions."

"Yeah, my family is not much for traditions. Actually, my family isn't much for family."

"You can always create a new family from your friends."

He looked at me. "But what do you do when you bail on all of your friends and ruin everything?"

"You try again. If at first you fricassee: fry, fry a hen."

A smile lit up his face. "I think you mean if at first you don't succeed: try, try again."

I shrugged. "You're probably right. My clichés are generally a mess. The early bird gets the watched pot, for example."

He sighed. "You always were beyond belief."

* * *

We got back to Uppercross around three o'clock. After dropping off Ben and Chris, I went home to pack and explain everything to Sophia. She was more than willing to call me a numbskull and an idiot. "You could have had Ben!" she screamed at me as I packed.

"And you think I don't know that?" I asked her.

"I'm not sure you do. You ignored him for a week and threw yourself at that Logan creep."

"I know and now I have to live with that. I acted out of selfishness and pride and stupidity. He hurt me. He needed to know that."

She sighed. "Gianna, I think he knows that. I think he's known that for a long time."

"He broke my heart. Do you know what that feels like? I loved him and he broke my heart."

My older sister nodded. "I know. I remember. I was there with ice cream and tissues for weeks."

I smiled. "And I'm grateful for that. But since then I've made a lot of mistakes. I need to go back to Ann Arbor and put my life in order. I led Logan on and I need to get away from him so that he forgets about me. But I want to know for sure that he's all right."

"He hit his head?" Sophia asked.

I nodded.

She smiled. "Don't worry. There's nothing important up there anyway."

I laughed. "Jenna said that too."

"Smart woman, that Jenna Harville," my sister told me. "He'll be fine. It's you that I worried about."

I laughed. "Don't worry about me. I'm a big girl."

"I'm your big sister. I have a right to worry about you. And remember what Nana Costanza used to say."

"You always need someone around to do the worrying."

"Exactly, and that's my job right now."

"Sofe, you do not need to worry about me."

She looked at me. "No but I'm your big sister and I want to do it."

I sighed. "Fine, go ahead and worry about me."

"Thank you. I appreciate your permission. You know I'd just worry about you anyway."

I shook my head. "You're ridiculous. You're a hippie who never stops worrying."

"Remind me to stop asking you for your opinion on things."

"I'd still give it even if you stopped asking. And that was unsolicited, that statement about being a hippie. I'm just saying it even if you don't want to hear it."

She grabbed me and shook me playfully. "Oh go back to Ann Arbor. Karl and I will stop by and see you before we leave the country."

I smiled. "You'd better. You're my favorite older sister."

"How sweet," she replied. "I'm your only older sister."

"I know," I told her. "That's what makes the choice so easy. You have no competition."

"You're pathetic."

"I get that a lot," I replied. "But I'm all packed, so I think I'm going to take off."

"Make sure you say good-bye to Karl. He's on the dock."

I kissed her cheek. "I will. And stay out of trouble."

"Ha, I laugh in the face of trouble."

"Have fun with that," I replied, grabbing my duffel bag and heading downstairs.

* * *

After I threw my bags in my car, I went out to the dock to say good-bye to Karl. "You're leaving?" he asked looking up from the sketchbook in his hands.

I nodded. "You're wife says I'm a pathetic idiot."

"That sounds like Sophia."

I smiled. "She's a little crazy."

"I know. I'm married to her. Sometimes people ask me why I married her. You had no choice in being related to her. But I had a choice. People want to know why I would choose her of all people."

I laughed. "She's a good woman, just a little out there."

"I know," he replied with a smile. "And she'll miss you."

"I'll miss her too. But I need to go now. I've messed up a lot lately and I need to get away from Logan so things straighten out."

He nodded and ran a hand through his hair. "Stay away from both Logan and Ben for a while. Things will straighten out; I promise."

I smiled. "Thanks for having me up here; I really enjoyed it. And I'll see you guys again soon."

He kissed my cheek. "Stay out of trouble, and we'll see you soon."

I hugged him and then I headed to my car. When I got there, I found Ben waiting for me. "Hey," he said. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure," I said. "What's up?"

"Can you make sure that someone lets me know how Logan is doing? I'm going to be helping my dad out with some financial stuff for the next couple of weeks and then I'm defending my thesis in Chicago in August. And then after that, I'm moving to Ann Arbor. I'm just not sure that Nolan or Carissa will remember to call me or email me. So if you could keep me updated, that would be great."

"Yeah," I said taking my cell phone out of my purse. "If you can just put your number in there, I'll call you. And I can get your email address from Kyle."

A few minutes later, he handed my phone back to me. "Drive safely. Don't kill any chickens."

I smiled at the old joke from so many years ago. "I'll try."

And then I left.

* * *

A/N: Please review!


	10. Chapter 9

A/N: I don't own _Persuasion_. I'm very grateful to all of my reviewers.

_

* * *

He would gladly weaken, by any fair means, whatever feelings or speculations concerning him might exist; and he went, therefore, to his brother's, meaning after a while to return to Kellynch, and act as circumstances might require._

_-__Persuasion__, Volume II, Chapter XI_

* * *

Chapter Nine

* * *

Around nine o'clock that evening, I got off US-23 onto Geddes Road and followed it out to the Riverside subdivision. The name is misleading; there's no river anywhere near the place. But I made a right onto Riverside Boulevard and then a quick left onto Apple Tree Drive. This was followed by a left on Pine Ridge Crescent. And then I pulled into the driveway of 1874 Pine Ridge Crescent, a cozy brick colonial. The garage door was open and I could see a silver Dodge Neon parked next to a light blue Ford Focus. I parked behind the Focus and then jumped out of the car. I was tired and had spent close to seven hours in the car in one day; it was beyond belief. So after stretching, I went up to the door and rang the bell. After a minute or two, the door opened to reveal a tall man with light brown hair, a scruffy beard, and a warm smile. He wore a blue Michigan t-shirt with khaki shorts and flip-flops. "Hey, hey," David Gilbert said. "How's it going?"

I shrugged. "I'm tired."

He hugged me and I just leaned against him. "You'll be fine," he told me. "Just come inside, I'll make you some tea, and you can tell us all about it."

"What if I don't want to talk about it?" I asked as we went into the house.

David smiled. "Katie will make you talk. She'll tickle you."

I laughed and followed him into the living room. Katie, a petite brunette, was sitting on the couch with little Elinor sitting next to her. "Hey, love," she said jumping up to hug me. "How are you?"

"As well as can be expected," I replied.

She smiled. "Well, you're among friends now. I need to put Elinor to bed but then we can talk."

"That sounds great."

"So just sit down on the couch and relax while I deal with the little princess. My husband will entertain you."

"I don't sing or dance," David said.

"You do too sing," his wife told him as she picked up their little girl.

"Not while dancing," he replied.

She rolled her eyes. "You danced at our wedding. That's all that I care about."

He smiled as she left the room. "Someday she'll expect me to dance with Elinor at her wedding."

"I think Elinor will expect that of you," I replied stretching out on the couch.

"There are downsides to being a parent," David told me as he settled himself in his recliner.

I laughed. "You're full of it. You love her."

He grinned. "I'm in love with two women."

"Your wife and your daughter, I hope."

I laughed at his smile. I'm not sure how his smile was staying on his face; he was so happy. "Marrying Katie was the best thing I've ever done. I almost lost her but I mercifully came to my senses at some point."

"Are you trying to tell me something?"

David shrugged. "I could tell Ben the same story. I don't know if he'd get the same thing from it that you would. But I could still tell it to him."

I glared at him. "Weren't you going to make tea?"

"Yes but I was going to wait until my wife was back so you could talk to her while I watched the pot boil."

"A watched pot never boils."

He stood up. "I'm going to the kitchen. You can stay here or you can follow me."

I moaned. "I'm staying here. I'm tired. I drove from Alpena to Uppercross and then from Uppercross to here."

"Did you at least stop for dinner?"

"Nope, I haven't eaten since lunch."

I heard him sigh from the kitchen. "You're pathetic. I hope you know that. And I'm going to make you dinner."

"You're such a dad," I told him.

"I grilled pork chops for dinner and there's a couple left over," he told me. "We also have some salad and some pasta that Katie made. I'll make you a plate."

I laughed. "Are you sure you aren't Italian?"

"Yes, does Gilbert sound Italian to you?"

"Not really," I replied, snuggling up under a blanket I found on the back of the couch.

"Does that answer your question?"

"No, what's your mother's maiden name?"

"Krajewski," he replied. "It's Polish."

"Maybe that explains the need to feed people," I said.

"I don't know," he said.

"What don't you know, honey?" Katie asked coming into the room.

"Lots of things," he replied, coming back into the living room. "Did Ellie go down easily?"

She nodded. "She never puts up much of a fuss. And I think she was pretty tired tonight."

"We did let her stay up later than usual," David said. "That probably helped."

Katie sat down on the couch next to me. "Ellie is an easy child though. It's surprising."

"You're just used to Gabriel who didn't sleep through the night until he was two and was the most high-maintenance child in the history of the Gilbert family," her husband reminded her.

"Your poor sister," my friend replied.

Just then the microwave beeped and a minute later, David came in with a plate of food for me. "Your food, my good lady, I hope it is to your satisfaction."

I sat up and took off the blanket before taking the food from him. "This is really good," I told him after a few bites.

"Don't sound so surprised," he said. "But thanks. And now the kettle is boiling. I'll be back with tea in a minute."

"I want vanilla chai!" his wife yelled.

"I want green tea," I called into the kitchen.

"Sugar or cream, ladies?"

"Neither," I said.

"Ditto," Katie added.

He came back with a tray upon which were three steaming cups. "The purple one is for Gia. The blue one is for me. And the green one is for you, my dear," he said giving the cup to his wife. Then he sat down. "Okay, Gianna Maria, spill your guts."

"I'm eating," I said.

"So?" David replied.

I rolled my eyes. "I was raised to believe that a lady never speaks with her mouth full."

"Why did I feed her again?"

"You felt sorry for her, dear."

"Oh, yes, that's right." After a pause, David looked at me. "I don't want to be rude but could you possibly eat faster?"

I glared at him; David really is the brother I never had. But he has enough sisters; I don't know why he needs me. I have three sisters and I really think they're enough. I don't need any more siblings. But then none of his siblings have Sophia's personality. The Gilbert family is constructed of calm, normal people. This is one of many reasons I could never marry David. However, my sister seems to think that she could marry Aidan; I guess we're different people-Isa and me. We're pretty close and pretty similar. But we need different types of men. Aidan and David, they are not the same person.

* * *

"So you flirted with this Logan guy to make Ben jealous?" David asked after I'd told my story.

I nodded. "But I quickly realized that Logan wasn't worth my time and was obnoxious. So I stopped flirting with him but he wouldn't leave me alone."

David sighed. "And Ben obviously didn't approve."

"He never really said anything about it but I could just tell he didn't like it. But I didn't really care what he thought. He's not anything to me."

"That's a load of crap and don't bother glaring me. I have three sisters who are perfectly capable of giving me death glares on their own."

"Did anyone ever tell you that you're infuriating? You're all calm and normal on the outside but you use it against people like me."

"Are you saying that you're not normal?"

I sighed. Katie was just sitting there with a smile on her face; having several brothers of her own, she was used to watching scenes like this.

"David, you're impossible," I said finally.

He shrugged. "Answer one simple question for me. Do you like Ben?"

"You would ask that question."

He glared at me. "Don't get lippy with me. I do talk to Kyle and Ben. I hear things."

"What are they telling you?"

"The truth," he replied with a pointed look.

"What my husband means to say is that Ben thinks you weren't trying to hurt him intentionally but that you are very defensive about your relationship. He thinks you're pissed to hell about how he treated you six years ago," Katie told me. "Kyle thinks you're an idiot who can't see what's in front of your face and grab it while it's hot."

"Did he actually say that?" I asked.

She looked at me. "This is Kyle we're talking about."

I sighed. "Oh Kyle," I said, picking at a loose thread on a decorative pillow. "He would say something like that."

"He just wants the best for you," Katie told me. "He thinks of you as another little sister."

"I don't want to be his sister."

David sighed. "The point is that you screwed up."

"I know." There are few things in this world that I understand better than that fact. I screwed up-big time. "I could have had Ben back in my life and I blew it."

"I bet you could still get him back," David said.

"I doubt it," I replied.

He looked at me. "I got Katie back."

"And I'm so not you."

I'd tell you that he was glaring at me again but you'd probably stop, throw this book against the wall, and say, "What the hell is wrong with this woman?" Maybe some readers have already done this. Yes, David glared at me a lot that night; I was being an idiot. I let Ben Christianson, who is an amazing guy, slip through my fingers. I was selfish and bitter. I was an idiot. Yes, this is repetitive but I'm an idiot and to get through to myself, I have to keep telling myself the same things over and over again.

* * *

I left David and Katie's house around eleven-thirty and drove to my own apartment. It would be empty; I didn't have any roommates and my cat was at my parents' house. So I put on my pajamas, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and went to bed. I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

The next thing I knew, my cell phone was ringing and the fluorescent green numbers on my alarm clock were telling me it was 12:34 pm. I hadn't slept in that late since I was an undergrad. I picked up my phone and opened it without checking caller ID. "Hello?" I mumbled.

"Gianna Maria, why aren't you answering your phone?" Kyle's voice blasted into my unprepared ear.

"I was asleep," I replied, grabbing my glasses off my bedside table and putting them on.

"Great," he said. "Just great, I'm sitting here listening to the entire Masterson family plus that Nadia bird detail how madly in love with their precious Logan you supposedly are. And you're just off sleeping in your own bed with no distractions."

"It is pretty nice where I am. And I'm sorry you are where you are."

He laughed. "They're just so Norman Rockwell; it's annoying. They're such an all-American family, which is fine but a little annoying. And they seem to think that Logan is your soul mate."

"Don't tell me things like that when I've just woken up," I replied. "In fact, don't tell me things like that at all. You know I don't believe in soul mates."

"You're not sentimental. I know."

I smiled. "And Logan isn't my type; I told him that about a million times."

"Well, he's insisting that you saved his life and put him on the right track with his life. He wants to be a doctor now and save the world like you do. And he says he wants to marry you."

"A week ago, he had no life ambitions beyond working at Dick's Sporting Goods and Starbucks and partying his life away. He accused me of only being a doctor for the money and told me that marriage was a useless institution. And now he wants to become a doctor and marry me? He'd have to take all of the pre-med classes and then go to medical school and then there's residency. He'd be like 35 before he was done. And I don't want to be married to a doctor."

Kyle laughed. "I know how you feel. I'm married to a nurse and it's really enough for me."

"Oh come on," I said. "I'm a doctor; can you imagine what my life would be like if I were married to another doctor? You're a doctor. You know how it is."

"You'd die. I might be able to handle being married to a doctor but you couldn't. It would probably kill you. You need to marry someone who does something very opposite of what you do. A teacher might be good for you. But you'd drive me nuts. And I'd drive you bonkers. If David weren't taken already, he'd be pretty good for you. He's a lot like your dad."

"They're both personal financial planners."

"That's not the only similarity."

"David isn't Italian and he sure as heck isn't balding," I told him.

I knew Kyle was smiling at that one; he and I had once had a discussion about how he would someday be bald. "Both your dad and David are passionate about their families and they love hockey and the Beatles."

"Okay, but David is married."

"Good point," he said. "Anyway, Logan wants to marry you."

"And I can't marry him."

"Another good point, so basically, you can't call any of the Crosses and stay away from everything."

"Okay but Ben wanted regular updates on Logan."

"I can handle that," he said in a voice that reminds me that he is a husband and father. He is strong, steady, dependable, and capable. He doesn't let people down. He'll take care of everything and he really will do it.

* * *

That afternoon, I went over to my parents' house to rescue my cat, Alonso, from my parents' house and talk to my mom. Unfortunately, Mamma wasn't home. But my younger sisters were both there. And neither one of them lives there anymore. I pulled up in the driveway and went into the kitchen, like I always do. There I found Isa sitting on the counter eating yogurt while doing something on her laptop. "Where's Mamma?" I asked

She shrugged. "Running errands, I think. She and Dad want to redo all of our old bedrooms so I guess she's looking at stuff for that."

"So why are you here?"

"I needed to get something from Stella and this was the easiest place to meet her." Stella lives in Ann Arbor while Isa lives in Canton, about twenty or thirty minutes east of Ann Arbor.

"Where's Stella?" I asked.

"On the phone with Nick, probably," Isa replied. "She's really stressed about some exam she has this week."

Stella was in her last year of law school at the time and constantly stressed about something. Isa was working for an interior design firm as their accountant. "Why aren't you at work?"

"I'm on my lunch break."

"It's three o'clock."

"I know," she said. "I took a late lunch today because it was the only time I could meet Stella."

"Okay," I said. "I was just wondering."

My twenty-three year old sister nodded and hopped off the counter. "Well, I should get going. I have a job to do."

I laughed. "Isa, I'm on vacation."

"I know. And you freaking need it. You work way too much. You're a workaholic."

I glared at her. "Have you been talking to Mamma again?"

"Nope," she said licking her spoon. "I talked to Jenna. She's says you're going to give yourself a heart attack and die cold and alone and no one will find you for weeks until the smell gives it away."

"Did she really say that?" I asked, hardening my glare.

"God, if you don't cut it out, your face is totally going to freeze like that. And no, Jenna didn't exactly use those words. But if she were more like me, she would have. She did say that you do too much."

"Oh thanks, Oprah."

My sister grimaced. "I hate that show. I hate overly emotional anything."

I laughed. Isa is like Sophia; she's emotionally everywhere.

"No mocking me," she says when she sees me laughing. "You can't mock me. I talk a lot but that doesn't mean that I like talk-shows or talk radio. I hate them."

"Okay," I said. "I'll trust you."

"Thank you," she replied. "Do I look okay to go back to work?"

She was wearing a conservative black skirt with a shiny teal blouse. "You look fine, no food stains."

"Teeth check, please," she asks next, baring her teeth to me.

I smiled before telling her, "You're fine, good to go. Now scram, kid."

"Thanks," Isa said as she grabbed her purse and ran out the back door.

I found Stella sitting in the family room with her laptop. Her cell phone was nowhere to be seen and the only sounds in the room where her fingers typing and the sounds of some movie soundtrack serenading her via iTunes. I flopped on the couch next to her and she looked at me, adjusting her black-rimmed glasses. "Hey," she said. "Did you know that you're an idiot?"

"Where is this coming from?"

"You could have had Ben back. It would have been amazing."

"Again, where are you getting this from?"

"Sophia called me. She said that you listen to me more than you listen to her or Isa so she told me everything and said I needed to read you the riot act."

"Oh lovely," I sighed. "Don't people know what a personal life is anymore?"

"We're your sisters," she replied. "You don't get a personal life. We have the right to know everything that is going on in your life."

"Oh baloney," I said. "Do I ask you for intimate details of your relationship with Nick?"

"Did I completely blow my relationship with Nick to hell?"

"Ben dumped me."

"Yeah, and that was six years ago."

"Last week was the first time I had seen him in six years."

"And you ruined everything."

"You're getting dramatic like Isa and Sofe," I said.

Stella grimaced. "Please never say that again. And I am not the focus here. You are. You could be dating Ben Christianson."

"Let's review. He dumped me six years ago."

"That's okay. You guys could reunite. It would be beautiful. I could be a bridesmaid in the wedding this time."

"I came to get my cat," I told her. "I don't need to listen to your lip."

"Alonso is in your old bedroom."

I jumped off the couch. "Then I'm going to get him. We'll talk more another time. I have dinner plans tonight."

"So do I," she replied. "What are you doing with the rest of your week off?"

"Painting my bedroom," I replied. "I haven't done any work on the apartment in the past three years. I think it's time for a change. After I take Alonso home, I'm going to Home Depot to look at paint chips."

"You should do the whole apartment."

"I'll think about it," I replied.

She tweaked my nose. "That's my good girl."

I slapped her playfully. "I'm out of here."

* * *

After picking out the paint for my bedroom, I went home to get ready for dinner. I was having dinner with David and Katie. Yes, I'd just been there the night before but that didn't faze Katie. She wanted to see me again and make sure that I wasn't eating canned ravioli and drinking boxed wine while watching _Friends_ reruns. Katie was voted "Most Likely to be a Mother" by our senior class. And she deserved it. Before Elinor was born, Jenna and I were Katie's children. She loves baking, crocheting, cooking, sewing, and a million other little "motherly" things. She read out loud to me every single night from our freshman year of college until the night before her wedding. We read so many books that way-all of The Chronicles of Narnia, the entire The Lord of the Rings trilogy, and dozens of other books. During college, she worked at a day care during summers. Katie likes being a mom; she's a natural at it. Elinor is so lucky.

I figured that a simple dinner with David and Katie didn't require much in the way of dressing up. Jeans and a nice shirt should be fine. I appreciated the simplicity of my friends' lives. So I made a mental note to ask for any and all available painting help and headed into my room to look for a cute outfit. And then my cell phone started blaring "Calling You" by Blue October. I hoped to be able to ignore it and call whoever it was back later. But a quick check of caller ID revealed it to be Sophia, so I opened it. "What?" I asked.

"I'm doing great!" she said pointedly. "And how are you?"

"I'm fine," I replied pulling a denim wrap skirt out of my closet. "I'm getting ready for dinner at David and Katie's."

"Ooh, fun, will Ellie be there?"

I laughed. "I doubt she has any other social obligations."

"She's such a little cutie."

"I know. What's up?"

She sighed. "I just wanted to check up on you."

"I'm fine."

"Good," she replied and she did sound relieved. "What are you doing with the rest of your vacation?"

"Painting my bedroom," I replied.

"What colors?"

"An eggplant purple on three walls and a mint green on the fourth wall," I said.

"That sounds so pretty. Are you using water-based paint?"

"No," I said.

Sophia sighed. "Gia, I hate to be a pest but it is much more environmentally friendly than latex paint."

"And I'm a poor medical resident," I told her. "I can't afford the more eco-friendly stuff."

"Have you bought your paint yet?"

"Nope," I said.

"Okay, I'll buy it for you. How does that sound?"

"You don't have to do that."

"Consider it a birthday present and that's an order. Buy and I'll pay you back."

I didn't want to argue with her and I needed to get to the store to buy a bottle of wine before dinner, so I assented. "I'll give you the receipt when you get done here next."

"Excellent, we'll be there next weekend for Mamma's birthday. I'll pay you back; don't worry. And give my love to David, Katie, and Princess Ellie."

"I will."

"And I love you too, Gia."

"Love you too, Sofe," I replied before hanging up the phone and changing into my wrap skirt, a dark purple blouse, and black ballet flats. It was a bit dressier than I'd planned for but July in Michigan generally doesn't permit one to wear jeans. And I'm not much for shorts. So I wear skirts most of the summer when I'm not at work, where I either wear scrubs or business casual clothing. I wear scrubs at the hospital and business casual at Dr. Fleming's practice.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, I was back on the doorstep of 1874 Pine Ridge Crescent with a bottle of Sutter Home White Zinfandel in one hand. When I rang the doorbell, David answered it with Elinor on his hip. "Hey," he said. "Come in."

"I brought wine with me," I told him as I followed him to the kitchen. "Your wife wouldn't let me bring a salad or dessert so I figured wine might make things better."

"You'll need to talk to Katie about that one," David replied with a glimmer in his eye. Then, we reached the kitchen and he said, "Kates, Gianna brought us wine for dinner."

She smiled. "That's very sweet but I can't have wine for the next several months."

I looked at her suspiciously. "Are you pregnant, Katharine?"

She laughed and smiled more. "I'm due in January."

"Oh my gosh!" I squealed, quickly remembering to put the bottle of wine on the counter. Then I hugged her tightly. "You're having another baby! That's so exciting!"

Katie grinned. "We're thrilled. But David really wants a boy this time around."

"It's only fair," he protested with a smile that meant he'd really take whatever he got. He loved Elinor and he has several sisters of his own. But he did want a little boy.

"Are you going to find out what you're having?" I asked. Elinor had been a surprise but I didn't know if they'd want to repeat that or find out this time.

David shook his head. "I like surprises too much. It was so much more exciting finding out that Elinor was a girl than being like 'Oh yeah, we already knew she was a girl. Now we just have to pick a name for her.'"

I laughed. "It was a great surprise when you called me and were so excited about having a daughter."

"You weren't too thrilled that I called you at three in the morning."

"No, and I'd really appreciate it if you waited until 'normal people hours' to call me this time."

"Hey now, you used to be awake at those hours when you were at the hospital all the time."

I laughed. "My life is a little more normal these days."

"Then get married and start making babies," Katie said.

I sighed. "Find me a man and I will."

"I think I know someone for you," she hinted with raised eyebrows.

"We'll see," I replied. "Don't hold your breath or place any bets but we'll see."

* * *

A/N: Please review!


	11. Chapter 10

A/N: I don't own Persuasion. And I really appreciate the comments and support that reviewers give me.

* * *

Chapter Ten

_

* * *

My twenty-first birthday was the week after finals. Like every other college student in the country, I was expected to go out and let my friends buy me shots until I was wasted out of my mind. But I was dating Ben who had no interest in watching his girlfriend get trashed. So instead of going to a bar, we were having a party at the apartment that Ben, Kyle, Josh, and David shared. My parents were thrilled. Sophia had come home drunk on her twenty-first birthday and then Mamma and Dad had to deal with it. Well, I had to take care of her but then my parents found out and all hell broke loose. So when I told them that we were just going to have dinner, drink some wine, and play some games or watch a movie, the parents were thrilled. But as Dad said one night, "Gianna is our good daughter." Well, I am the only one of their daughters who made it to the age of twenty-one without getting an MIP. And then three weeks after my twenty-first birthday, some random cop on the sidewalk in downtown Ann Arbor started reading me the riot act because I was walking down the street with a (fully sealed) bottle of bear in my hand. He was a little embarrassed when I showed him my driver's license which did indeed prove that I was twenty-one years of age and therefore legally permitted to buy alcohol._

* * *

"_I'm Italian. Being able to drink alcohol isn't exactly a big thing," I told Josh as we made dinner on May 3, my birthday. "My family has been giving me a drink here and there for years."_

_He made a face at me. "That's not what we do. In my family, we don't drink until we're twenty-one."_

"_In my family, we get wine with dinner at every holiday or family celebration starting at age seventeen. Beer comes at eighteen. And then at twenty, you can have what you want."_

"_That's not legal!"_

_I sighed. "We weren't going out and buying the stuff. We were just drinking it under the careful supervision of our parents and aunts and uncles."_

"_It's better than how my parents handled it," Ben said coming into the kitchen. "We could do what we wanted, when we wanted. They'd buy us a keg if we wanted. At least Gia's parents were supervising their kids."_

"_It wasn't like they let us get drunk. We just had a glass with dinner and then we were done. They were controlling what we were drinking and how much we were drinking."_

"_Teenagers can't be responsible," Josh protested. _

"_I'm glad I'm not your kid," I replied. "You'll sit there and rant to your kids about how they can't be responsible because they aren't twenty-one yet but the minute they turn twenty-one the Responsibility Fairy will have hit them on the head with her magic wand and they'll suddenly be mature, responsible adults."_

"_No but they aren't immediately responsible just because they're high school freshmen either."_

"_You start them slowly and give them a little bit at a time."_

"_If you give them an inch, they'll take a mile."_

"_Josh, are you planning on raising a bunch of Puritans who never see the light of day or get a haircut or go the mall?" I asked. _

_He shrugged. "We live in a big, bad world and I don't want my kids to get hurt."_

_Allyson Harville, then only nineteen years old, came into the room just then. "Gia, am I going to be allowed to drink tonight?" _

"_Go ask Kyle," I replied. "It's my party but he's your brother."_

"_He said I should ask whoever bought the booze."_

"_That would be David," Ben said. _

"_Where is he?"_

"_Work until seven," Ben told her. "But I can call him if you want."_

"_Please?" she begged with puppy dog eyes. "I just want a glass of wine with dinner. That's all."_

_My boyfriend laughed. "Okay, kiddo, come with me."_

_After they left the kitchen, Josh looked at me. "Ally is so cute."_

"_Yeah and her brother would kill you if you asked his little sister out. She's only just nineteen and you're twenty-one. And you're Kyle's roommate. I don't think he wants you dating his sister."_

_He made a face. "I want to date his sister. I don't see what the big deal is."_

"_Do you think that Ally would even agree to go out with you?" I asked. "I think she knows how her brother would feel about that."_

"_But she has those cute bouncy auburn curls and that smile and those eyes."_

"_And her older brother sleeps in the bunk above yours."_

_Josh's green eyes glared at me. "Just because you and Ben are off in your perfect relationship heaven doesn't mean you can judge me."_

"_How does that make sense?" I asked him. _

"_You're happy and you don't want me to be happy."_

"_You're confused," I told him. _

"_You and Kyle and Ben and Jenna all want me to end up alone."_

"_No, that's your mother who doesn't want any competition for your love. We want you to be happy."_

"_My mommy wants me to be happy! She's just very picky about her future daughter-in-law."_

_I sighed. "Would she like Ally?"_

"_She prefers me with blondes."_

"_Grow a pair, get out of the kitchen, and go cut your apron strings."_

_

* * *

As the evening went on, the tension between Josh and me was still thick. He was shooting daggers at me while ogling Ally. And that hadn't slipped past Kyle's notice. During dinner, he was shooting daggers at Josh. Meanwhile, Katie Josephs was there with Luke Lombardo and David Gilbert, who had been single for over two years at that point, was getting a little jealous of Luke. But Luke had earned the right to wrap his arm around his girlfriend's shoulders and kiss her cheeks. And Ben had that same right with me. At the start of dinner, he silenced everyone by clanging his fork against a glass. And then he stood up. "We've all waited for this day for many months-ever since I turned twenty-one back in December. And now Gianna is finally a real, certifiable adult. To celebrate we're drinking her favorite wine, white zinfandel, tonight. And Gia, I know you're going to protest this gift but I don't care. I like being able to get my girlfriend nice things once in a while. So, this is for you." _

_With that, he took a long, slender black velvet box out of his pocket and handed it to me. I gasped when I opened it to find a single strand of perfect white pearls. "You didn't have to do this, Ben. You really didn't."_

"_But I wanted to do it, Gia. That's the point."_

"_It's so beautiful. But seriously, you could have gotten me a hooded sweatshirt and it would have been the same."_

"_She needs a new Michigan hoodie," Katie said. "She spilled burnt coffee and candle wax on her favorite one last week. It's completely ruined."_

"_It's got a hole in the sleeve where the candle wax spilled," Jenna added. _

_I laughed. "These are lovely, Ben. Thank you so much."_

"_Would you like me to help you put them on?" he asked. _

"_Please," I replied, handing the box to him. _

_After he put the strand around my neck and clasped it, he stepped back to admire it. "They're perfect for you."_

_I looked across the table at Jenna who smiled at me. "They really are gorgeous," she told me. "They suit you."_

_Katie nodded. "It's very simple, very classic," she added. _

_I looked up at Ben. "May I go look in the mirror, please?"_

_He laughed. "Go right ahead."_

_In the bathroom, I looked at myself. I was wearing a dark blue strapless dress with a lightweight black shrug. The pearl necklace fit perfectly with it all and they matched the (fake) pearl stud earrings I was wearing. _

"_What do you think?" Ally asked when I came back into the living room where we were eating. _

"_They're perfect," I replied, going over to Ben and wrapping an arm around his waist. "I love them." Then I looked up into his eyes. "I love you."_

"_I love you too," he replied before kissing me._

_I smiled as we pulled apart and nuzzled noses. _

"_Are you two done yet?" David asked. _

"_Yeah, seriously," came from Luke. "Can we eat yet?"_

_I laughed and leaned my head against Ben's shoulder. "That sounds great."_

"_Sweet, pass the spaghetti," Kyle said. "I've had my eye on that all day."_

"_Hey now," David said. "Let the birthday girl eat first."_

_Kyle made a face but brought the spaghetti to me so I could serve myself. I smiled at him. "Such a gentleman, thank you."_

_He grinned. "I aim to please."_

_

* * *

Later that evening, I was in my bedroom with Sophia, Isa, Stella, Katie, Jenna, and Ally. My new pearl necklace was in the middle of the circle. "Is it real?" Isa asked. She was sixteen and still wore braces. _

"_I don't know," I slowly admitted. _

"_I know how to find out," my youngest sister told me. "But I have braces. I can't check it."_

"_I can't do that," I said. _

_Sophia, ever the blunt one, picked up the necklace. "I can do it," she said. After rubbing it against her teeth, she handed me the necklace. "It's real. Those are some rough babies."_

_I sighed. "Why would he give this to me?"_

"_He loves you," Sofe told me. _

"_I'm a college student. I have another year of school and then four years of medical school. What do I need with a pearl necklace?"_

"_It's pretty," Sophia told me. _

"_I know but…"_

"_Honey, I wouldn't be surprised if Karl gave me something like that."_

"_That's different," I told her. "You're married. You expect a wealthy man to give his wife pearls. You don't expect a college student to give his girlfriend pearls."_

"_Ben's family is rich," Ally pointed out. "Maybe it isn't such a big deal to him."_

"_I'm sure it's not a big deal to him," I said. "But it is a big deal to a girl who is working her way through school. Tonight, I wore a dress I got from Charlotte Russe, a shrug from Target, my earrings were also from Target, and my shoes were from DSW. I'm not expensive. I'm not fancy."_

"_But you are classy and beautiful," Stella told me._

_I hugged her. "You're a star."_

"_That's a horrible pun," she said. _

"_No, seriously," I said. "You are a star."_

_She rolled her eyes. "Yeah and my name means star."_

"_You, my dear sister, are boring."_

"_Whatever," she said, leaning her head against my shoulder. "What are you going to do with the necklace?"_

"_I guess I have to keep it," I said. "And I'll be grateful. I just don't know when to wear it. And I really needed a new Michigan hoodie." _

"_Don't look at me," Jenna said. _

_I smiled. "I just ruined my favorite one last week. And he was there when I did it. I thought he would realize that I wanted a new hoodie."_

"_But sweetie," Katie said. "It's your twenty-first birthday and he wanted to get you something special. He probably thought you'd love the necklace."_

"_And what did Luke get you for your twenty-first birthday?" I asked her. _

"_He took me out for dinner and then gave me a gift card and a bottle of wine."_

"_I would have loved that," I said. "And I don't want to sound like an ungrateful girlfriend. I really do appreciate the pearls."_

"_It just isn't what you were expecting," Jenna said._

"_Bingo," I replied. _

_

* * *

The next day, David and Kyle came over to my parents' house. "We forgot to get you anything other than the booze for dinner last night," Kyle said. _

"_So we decided to get you something that will hopefully last longer," David added before handing me a horribly wrapped package. _

_I ripped the paper off and gasped as I saw a light blue Michigan hoodie in my hands. "You guys are the best," I said as I gave each of them a quick hug. _

"_It's no string of pearls but we're not your boyfriend," Kyle told me._

_As I laughed, I saw Ben's car pull into the driveway. "Speak of the devil," David joked. _

"_He'd better not have stolen our gift idea," Kyle sighed. _

"_My parents invited him over for dinner tonight," I explained. "We're having a family birthday dinner. Mamma made my favorite foods."_

"_Nice mom you got there," David said. _

"_What are you guys doing here?" Ben asked as he walked up the front path. _

"_We brought a birthday gift, a day late," Kyle said. _

"_They got me a sweatshirt," I said, showing it to my boyfriend. "Aren't they cute?"_

_He smiled. "I would have gotten you one."_

"_You got me that necklace. You don't need to get me anything else."_

"_But you're my girlfriend and I want you to be happy."_

"_I am happy, Ben. I love the necklace."_

"_You wanted a sweatshirt though."_

"_No, Ben, I needed a sweatshirt. I ruined my old one."_

"_This is our cue to leave," David said. _

"_We'll see you later," Kyle added. _

"_Farewell, fair lady and her boyfriend," was the next comment._

"_We hope to see you again soon," Kyle said by way of completing their bizarre dialogue. _

_I laughed as they walked away. "See you two later," I called after them. "Thanks for the sweatshirt."_

_Ben sighed. "I guess next year I'll actually ask you what you want."_

"_That would be a good start. But for now, let's go inside for dinner. Mamma is probably waiting for us."_

"_How does she feel about us going on vacation together?"_

_I shrugged. "She's not crazy about it. But if you don't deflower me or violate me, she won't kill you at the end of the summer."_

"_And you are going to Long Lake without me for two weeks."_

"_I'm sorry. But you don't really know Jenna's family that well. And Kyle isn't even coming this year."_

"_He's working instead," Ben pointed out. "And you're going to be working via your computer all summer."_

_I was going to be entering data from spreadsheets into a database for a researcher at Michigan. "I need the money, Ben," I told him. "My family isn't like yours. I never had my own bedroom until last summer when Sofe got married. We do things differently. _

_He was about to retort when my dad came into the room. "Ben, welcome, it's so good to have you here!"_

* * *

I'm not sure why I've been thinking about my twenty-first birthday lately. I'm wearing that "ruined" sweatshirt while painting; maybe that's what's bringing it all back. The sweatshirt is ruined and it still smells like that pot of coffee that I burned during my senior year of college-and then spilled all over my poor innocent sweatshirt that was by the sink. "You should paint one wall of your living room like mocha brown," Jenna told me when I told her what I was thinking. "And the do the rest of it like a periwinkle or something like that. But do one wall really dark and dramatic and the rest a lighter color."

"And how am I going to get all this painting done?" I asked her.

"Simple, ask your sisters and Kyle's siblings and David for help. Your sisters will bring their boyfriends. You provide the pizza and beer. It's a guaranteed winning plan."

"I'll think about it," I told her. "But on a more serious note, how is Logan?"

"Oh he's fine. He's recovering well; they're expecting a full recovery. And he seems to have forgotten your existence. He's flirting with the nurses like nobody's business. He keeps telling them how he's going to be a doctor someday and all this crap. And the worst part is that some of them believe it."

I laughed. "Logan is an idiot."

"I know," Jenna said. "But he's arranged dates with these poor girls who think they're actually going to get a real guy and really they're getting Logan."

"Think about what you just said," I told her.

And then she burst out laughing. "He thinks he's a real man."

"When we were at Uppercross, he was actually detailing his sexual prowess to us."

"Oh my lord," Jenna exclaimed. "That's awful."

"He did in front of his parents."

"That is disgusting."

"I know," I said. "Trust me. Chris and I came into the kitchen to help Ben and Sophia with the dishes."

"It was probably safer," she said.

"Probably," I replied.

In the end, I decided to paint my bedroom eggplant on three walls with a mint green accent wall. My living room was going to be light blue with an accent wall in mocha. My bathroom would be lilac purple. And my kitchen would be a warm, friendly red. I was getting excited.

To: "David M. Gilbert" "Katelyn V. Harville" "Connor P. Harville" "Stella P. Napolitano" "Isabella A. Napolitano" "Aidan P. Gilbert" "Nicholas R. Cunningham" "Luke M. Lombardo"

From: "Gianna M. Napolitano"

Date: Tuesday, July 21

Subject: Painting Party?

Hey guys, I know this is short notice but I'm wondering if anyone would be available to help me paint my apartment tomorrow evening. I'm hoping to get the bedroom done on my own earlier in the day but if I could get some help for the living room, the bathroom, and the kitchen, that would be great. I'll provide the pizza and beer; anything else you have to bring on your own.

Let me know ASAP; either email me or call me.

Gianna

I figured at least my sisters would help if no one else did. And if they came, Aidan and Nick would come. With Katelyn and Connor, they'd come if they were free. And who knew what David or Luke would do? Luke wasn't married but maybe he'd have a date or something.

* * *

I had my bedroom done by eleven o'clock on Tuesday night, which was great news. That meant I could work on the bathroom the next day before everyone else came-if anyone else came. The next morning I checked my email to see who was coming that night. I had twelve unread messages. Most were from the eight people I had invited to help with painting. But this one caught my eye.

To: "Gianna M. Napolitano"

From: "Benjamin J. Christianson"

Date: Tuesday, July 21

Subject: Logan

Gianna,

I've heard nothing about Logan in the past few days. Do you know how he's doing?"

Thanks,

Ben

I felt bad sending this reply. But I didn't know much.

To: "Benjamin J. Christianson"

From: "Gianna M. Napolitano"

Date: Wednesday, July 22

Subject: RE: Logan

Ben,

I don't know much. I know he's recovering well and hitting on nurses. I'm in Ann Arbor and only hearing stuff via Kyle and he isn't very talkative on that subject.

Sorry,

Gianna

I felt badly for Ben. He cared about people but was often ignored by people like his family. I'd treated him like that when we were all at Uppercross. I'd rejoiced in my ability to ignore him. And while our relationship wasn't always perfect, that doesn't give me an excuse to treat him like crap. The way he dumped me-okay, that one sucked. But he's a better person than Logan is. He cares about people and that is a great quality. He broke my heart but he's a different person now.

* * *

In good news, everyone except David would able to help me paint. In fact, Katelyn Harville was coming in the late morning to help me during the day. And then my dad called me with some surprising news. "I have a new client, one who may interest you."

"And who would that be?"

"James Christianson and his wife," he replied. "Apparently, their accountant decided that they need some desperate personal help. They've really screwed up their personal finances as well as those of Kellynch."

"I'm not surprised. Ben said that he needed to go help his dad with some stuff. He didn't explain but it sounded like his parents were having some big problems."

"Gianna, darling, tell that boy to stay the hell away from his parents. They've made a ridiculous mess out of their money."

"I think he wants to help them."

"They may be beyond help," he said. "I've seen the actual data; it's much worse than CNBC makes it sound."

I sighed. "How bad is it, Dad?"

"Gianna, don't ask me questions like that. If you want to know that, you'll have to talk to Ben himself. It's kind of like a patient-doctor privilege. I can't tell you those sorts of things. But Ben can. And he'll be at a meeting that I'm having with his father tomorrow morning. If you really want to know how bad things are, pick his brain after that."

"I thought you hated Ben Christianson, Dad."

He laughed. "I don't hate him. I just want to kill him for breaking my daughter's heart. You were the first of my little girls to have her heart broken. And for that, I think I deserve some rights to dislike him."

"I understand that."

"Good," he replied. "And I'm still going to help his father. Mr. Christianson is a client and a well-paying client."

"I thought he had no money."

"He won't admit it and he'll stay pay me quite well."

"Make sure that he doesn't pull a Chrysler on you."

"I'll make him pay me, Gianna my pet. I promise you." I was referencing the fact that Chrysler had, as they went bankrupt, found themselves unable to pay their marketing firms. We knew this well as my parents' next-door neighbor, Yuri Larinov, had worked for a marketing firm that had been forced to lay him off after Chrysler found themselves unable to pay the firm.

"But, Dad, how is he going to pay you?"

"I'll teach the man how to budget," he replied firmly. "How do you think your mother and I have managed to support our family over the years?"

"You're logical," I protested. "You've been doing this for years. And you're not used to living in the lap of luxury. You're both the children of immigrants. You're used to economy and thrift. The Christiansons have never lived like that. Mrs. Christianson grew up in a wealthy Boston family and went to a Swiss boarding school. And her husband's family has owned Kellynch forever. They're not used to living like you are."

"Well, we'll have to teach them," he told me. "Remember, Gianna, I've done this for a long time. This is my career. I'm not looking at these people as your ex-boyfriend's family. They are merely clients albeit wealthy clients who are in a bigger mess than most people are."

"If you think you can handle it," I said tentatively.

He laughed and I sighed. "Karl and Sophia are coming on Friday," he told me. "Your mother wants you to come to dinner."

"What time?" I asked.

"You're such a good daughter. Sophia would have fought with me when I told her that your mother wanted her at dinner Friday night."

I laughed. "Dad, you know I have no life. I'll be there on Friday. And then we're going out for dinner on Saturday night?"

"Good girl," he said. "I like you."

"I am your favorite daughter," I told him.

He laughed. "I'll see you on Friday."

"See you then," I told him. "Have fun tomorrow, Daddy."

"You too, pet; I hear you're painting your apartment."

"That's the plan," I replied.

"Well, enjoy yourself, pet. We'll see you soon. Love you."

"Love you too, Daddy. I'll see you Friday." And then I ended the call. I was close to my parents but closer to my dad. I was his "pet," the little girl who wouldn't throw fits like Sophia. I kept to myself and didn't fight with him or argue with him. I grew up listening to Sofe fight with both of our parents frequently. Ben had horrible relationships with both of his parents. Katie and her father did NOT get along. Jenna was close to her dad. Kyle was closer to his mother than his father. David and his father were almost best friends. I saw all of this. And it shaped my views on men and fathers.

* * *

A/N: Please review! I really need them.


	12. Interlude:Ben Gives a Little Perspective

A/N: I don't own _Persuasion_. That's all Jane's. I love my reviewers though.

* * *

Interlude: Ben Gives a Little Perspective

* * *

After leaving Uppercross, I spent the next several days trying to help my parents. My mother was oblivious to the fact that Kellynch would be completely bankrupt in a matter of days and kept telling me about some big party she was planning for the first week of August. It was a party that the Christianson family had thrown the first Friday of August every year since 1904. Well, it's not happening this year. They simply cannot afford it. Herb Shepherd, my parents' lawyer, convinced them to skip out on the annual European vacation and to rent out their summer house in Uppercross, Michigan. Of course, I still went up to Uppercross because my hypochondriac little sister, Carissa, convinced me that there was no way on God's green earth that she could handle her husband's family and take care of her son without my help. (Carissa's husband's parents have owned the second-largest house in Uppercross for the past thirty years.) I couldn't stand listening to my sister's nasally whine, especially over the phone, so I agreed-mostly to just shut her up and fulfill my own personal sense of duty to my family. I also realized that it would be a good place to finish up writing my doctoral thesis. And it had been; I finished it-756 pages written comparing and contrasting Wilfred Owen's "Dulce et Decorum Est" with Siegfried Sassoon's "The Glory of Women." I had to go to Chicago and defend it still but I was confident in it. It was a topic on which I'd written many times in my career, starting with British Literature II my sophomore year of college.

The big twist in our trip to Uppercross had been my parents' renters. Karl Zimmer and Sophia Napolitano-Zimmer, they're also known as my ex-girlfriend's sister and brother-in-law. And then, Sophia's younger sister, Gianna, came to visit them. Gianna is also known as my ex-girlfriend who was even my fiancée for a grand total of three weeks. Well, Gianna (understandably) still doesn't like me six years after I broke up with her. Unfortunately, a situation involving Gianna and Carissa's brother-in-law, Logan, began and turned into a royal disaster.

And now I'm meeting with her dad. It's really a meeting for my parents but they'll never do anything unless their lawyer and I come along. Mr. Napolitano is a financial planner who is supposed to be able to help my parents with their problems.

* * *

Walking into Anthony Napolitano's office that Wednesday morning brought back a host of memories. I'd been there before, when I was dating his daughter. But this was different; this was business. So I led my parents into the office and told the receptionist that we were there to see Mr. Napolitano. "Benjamin Christianson?" she asked. "I haven't seen you in ages. I'll tell Tony right away."

I looked at her. "Doris?" I asked, suddenly realizing who she was. "I didn't know you were still working for Mr. Napolitano."

"Where else could I get such a good job?" she asked. "I'm sixty-seven years old. I'm not leaving Tony until I'm seventy."

I laughed. "It's good to see you again. I'm here with Mr. and Mrs. Christianson for their eleven o'clock appointment."

She picked up the phone from her desk and pressed a button before saying, "Mr. Napolitano, your eleven o'clock is here."

After I sat down and picked up a magazine, Doris turned to us and smiled. "Mr. Napolitano will be right with you."

"Thank you," Herb said and I smiled at her. My parents both huffed indignantly at the idea that anyone would ever ask them to wait. My mom had flown home that morning after three months in Vancouver. She'd used the family's private jet, an expense that made Herb glare at her and mutter something about "irresponsible spending."

My mother examined her nails, my dad played with his Blackberry, and Herb and I both read until the door opened and Mr. Napolitano, a man who had always reminded me of Al Pacino as Michael Corleone, entered the room wearing a black pin-striped suit over a red button-down shirt. "James Christianson and Adelaide Christianson?" he asked.

My father stood up and my mother glared at Mr. Napolitano. "That's Adelaide Russell-Christianson to you," she said.

"All right, Adelaide Russell-Christianson," Mr. Napolitano said with a slight note of frustration to his voice. "If you could please follow me, we can get started."

"I've brought my son and my lawyer with me," my dad said.

"That's fine," the financial planner replied. "Now all of you can come back to my office and we can start talking."

So we all followed him back into his office. He'd gotten a new and bigger office with two windows and more furniture on which his clients could sit. The new office had bright blue walls and plants and a beautiful cherry desk and matching bookshelf. "Please, have a seat," he told us. And we all did; it really seemed like the place one would want to have a seat and make oneself comfortable.

On the walls, I saw pictures of his children. There was Sophia and Karl on their wedding day. And there was one of Gianna, Stella, and Isabella on the same day in gorgeous dark green dresses. But then they always were beautiful.

"I've looked over everything that your accountant and Mr. Shepherd here have sent over, so I think I'm fairly well apprised of the current situation. My question for you folks today is this: where do we want to start today?" Mr. Napolitano asked us and interrupted my contemplation of his walls.

My mother glared at him without hesitation. "I need you to explain to Herb here that we don't need to economize as much as he says. Things aren't as bad as he says they are."

Mom doesn't watch CNBC. Any idiot who watches CNBC could tell you that things are worse than Herb tells my mom. He babies Mom and Eliot. He's more honest with Dad but, being an old family, he tries to protect our family from the harsh realities of our life. I looked at Herb who took a deep breath and waited to hear Mr. Napolitano's reaction to that.

"In all honesty, Ms. Russell-Christianson, I would have to say that Mr. Shepherd has not done enough to stabilize your family's finances," he said firmly.

"We rented the summer house from May until September!" my mom almost shrieked. "We gave up our European vacation. What else are we supposed to do?

"Get rid of your private jet," he said completely seriously. "You have to pay for the jet, the fuel, the pilot, and lodging for the pilot. You're spending thousands of dollars a month on this when you could fly commercial."

"Fly commercial?" my dad repeats. "Do you know who I am? My family has owned Kellynch Publishing-"

"Since 1874," Mr. Napolitano finishes for him. "Yes, I am aware of your company's history. I watch CNBC. I'm also aware that our nation is currently in the greatest recession since the Great Depression. And I am aware that your personal finances are being greatly taxed by your corporate difficulties."

"My books are still selling!" my mom protested.

"You cannot afford a house in Bloomfield Hills, a vacation home in Uppercross, and an apartment in Paris on the profits of your books alone. You own two houses and that Parisian apartment as well as five cars, a boat, a private jet, three horses, and season tickets for multiple teams. And you rarely go to any of those games. You're throwing money away."

"We have to support ourselves and Eliot," my dad protested.

"And that's another thing that we need to discuss. You're financially supporting your college-educated thirty-one year old daughter."

"Eliot is an actress and the rest of the world has yet to realize her full potential. So we are supporting her while she waits for her big break," came from my mother who was currently playing with the pearl necklaces around her neck. And somehow I find myself thinking about the pearls that I gave Gianna for her twenty-first birthday when all she really wanted was a Michigan sweatshirt.

But again Gianna's father broke through my musings about his daughter. "However, you cannot financially afford to pay for your daughter currently. You may have been able to do so at one point but you cannot do it currently."

* * *

That continued for over an hour. At the end of the meeting, little has been accomplished and it is determined that my parents will need to keep meeting with Mr. Napolitano. My parents started arguing with Herb as soon as we all stood up. I had driven separately and was almost gleeful at the realization that I wouldn't have to drive home with them. And then Mr. Napolitano stunned me. "Ben," he asked. "Would you like to join me for lunch today? I'd like to talk to you about a few things."

I shrugged. I didn't have anything better to do with my day than have lunch with my ex-girlfriend's dad who is probably still more than willing to kill me. "Sure," I said slowly.

"Excellent," he replied. "I was thinking about hitting the Olive Garden for their soup, salad, and breadsticks lunch. What do you think?"

"That sounds great." One of the things that I love about Gianna's family is their love for the Olive Garden. They are Italians who eat homemade Italian food at home but they still love the Olive Garden.

* * *

So we both hopped in our cars and I followed him to Ann Arbor's only Olive Garden, which happens to be about ten seconds from his office. That's what you might call extremely convenient. After we sit down and order, he looks at me and sighs. "We need to talk, Ben."

I immediately went on the defensive, assuming this was about Gianna. "Okay, so what I did was stupid. I dumped her and I shouldn't have. And it wasn't fair. And you can kill me if you want. But I know that I made a mistake with your daughter. And I'm really sorry."

He held up a hand. "Ben, breathe please. This isn't about that. You broke my daughter's heart but I assume she's moved on. This is about your parents."

"Oh," I said, embarrassed. "I don't know how much I can help you, Mr. Napolitano. I'm not exactly the favorite child."

"Please call me Tony," he said. "And I think you can help me with your parents."

"Okay, Mr. Tony," I replied. "What is it you think I can do?"

He chuckled, obviously at the "Mr. Tony" bit. "I want to have your parents' accountant put you on their bank accounts so that you can control how much money goes in and out of the accounts."

I looked at him. "How the hell are you going to convince my parents that they want their least favorite child to control their money?"

He shrugged. "I have my ways. Simply put, your parents need to consider declaring bankruptcy. The banks are very close to foreclosing on their homes-all of them."

My jaw hit the table. "You're shitting me."

"I wish I was," Tony said, ignoring my language.

"I didn't know it was that bad."

"The French authorities will probably seize that house in the next week or two. The other houses might take a little longer."

"My parents are going to lose everything, aren't they?" I asked, my voice shaking.

"Your mom's books aren't selling as well as she thinks they are. And she spent right through everything she got for the movie deal. Ben, have you actually looked at your parents' bank statements or anything like that?"

I shook my head. "They don't really like me much unless I can get them out of some stupid hole they've dug themselves into."

He smiled as the waiter arrived with salad and breadsticks. "Well, here we have a situation where your parents are in a very large hole and you have the opportunity to keep that hole from getting bigger. You can't really get them out; only they can do that. But I'm hoping that you can help put a reign on their spending."

I shook my head. "That's impossible. No offense, but you don't know James and Adelaide. Nothing can control them."

"Ben, they're going to lose property if they aren't stopped. Your parents could very well end up homeless."

"I know but I don't think they'll listen to me."

"You can always try."

I looked at him. He reminded me, in some odd way, of an elderly Italian priest I'd met on a childhood vacation to Rome. The man had been in one of the confessionals in the Vatican and I'd gone to talk to him even though I wasn't Catholic at the time. I later became Catholic, while in St. Louis. But this little priest had told me that I needed to try harder with my family, to love them in spite of their faults. But I can't change my parents. "I can try but they won't change. They're too selfish."

"We still want to put you in control of their money."

* * *

A day later, I found myself formally signing the papers that made me custodian of my parents' finances. I knew I was getting in over my head, but I had no option. After signing the paperwork, my parents invited me to join them at Starbucks so we could chat. I was expecting wrath over the fact that I would now be controlling the flow of money in and out of their bank accounts. Instead, I was stunned to hear Adelaide calmly inform me after we sat down with our drinks, "Benjamin, your father and I feel that it is time for you to settle down and get married."

I looked at her. "Are you serious?"

"Of course, Carissa has been married for several years and she has a child. Your father would like someone to continue the Christianson family name and legacy. You haven't shown any interest in girls since that unfortunate little incident with that Chia or whatever her name was when you were in college. I'm beginning to wonder if you're a homosexual or something."

"If you are," my father said. "We would recommend that you marry a lovely woman to provide you with an heir and keep your boy-toys in the closet."

I raised my eyebrows and sighed. "James, it's the twenty-first century. If I was gay, trust me; I'd throw it in your faces and make you live with it."

"So when are you going to get married?" my father asked.

"When I find the right girl," I replied.

"But you're twenty-eight years old and your biological clock is ticking," my mother protested.

"Adelaide, I'm a guy. I don't really have a biological clock. And when I find the right girl, I'll marry her. Why aren't you pressuring Eliot to get married? She's older than I am."

"Your mother and I feel that Eliot isn't necessarily the marrying type while you once expressed a desire to marry that Gina girl in college."

"Her name is Gianna," I said.

"Whatever," my mother said. "The point is that your father and I would like to see you married. And we feel that Lauren Madison would be the perfect choice for you."

"Hell no," I replied without hesitation. "I'm not marrying her."

"Benjamin, you have a duty to this family," she protested. "Think about the honor that is inspired when people hear about the Christiansons."

"Mom, when people hear our last name, they think about bankruptcy court and they laugh. And beyond that, I'm a college professor. I'm not in the whole social world."

Then it was my father's turn. "Benjamin, your mother and I feel that there are better careers for a member of our prestigious family than teaching college. With your degrees, you could be working in publishing. And when you and Lauren marry, you two can be the public face of Kellynch."

"No, James, no one will be the public face of Kellynch ever again. Your business died. You're bankrupt. The company is bankrupt; you can't even publish Adelaide's books anymore. And the banks are preparing to foreclose on all of your houses."

"Don't talk to me like that, Benjamin. I'm still your father."

"And I'm not afraid of you anymore. I don't need you anymore. In two days, I'll be defending my PhD and then in the fall, I start work at the University of Michigan. I'm independent and I have been for the past six years. I'm not going to marry Lauren Madison just because you think that we'll look good together. In all honesty, I've never been able to stand her. In fact, I'm more than a little tempted to go find Gianna and ask her to marry me."

"You will not defy your father," Adelaide told me. "He is your father."

"In name only," I replied. I was getting a roll; I was always the "good son." But suddenly, something like rebellion was coming out. "You two have given me all the benefits of your wealth. You sent me to the best schools. I always had the best clothes. I had a great nanny. But I never knew that you guys loved me."

"That doesn't matter," Adelaide replied.

"No," I said. "It does matter. You two had children as a status symbol, not because you wanted to be parents. I don't want to be a part of your little games anymore. I'll help you with your bank accounts but that is it. I will not marry Lauren Madison. I won't work for your dying company. I'm twenty-eight years old and I'm going to live my own life now. I don't need you."

"Benjamin," Adelaide whined, reaching for my hands.

I pulled them away from her. "Adelaide, grow up. You can't take money out of the bank without my permission. I have the upper hand now."

"Benjamin, this is very disrespectful behavior," my father protested.

"Stop calling me Benjamin!" I exploded. "I go by Ben. I don't need you anymore. Please leave me alone and stop trying to control my life. I'm an adult."

And with that, I stood up and walked away. It was time for me to move on with my life. As I walked to my car, I got a text message from Kyle saying "Logan's dating a nurse; Gianna is free."

After six long and awful years, the fulfillment of my dreams was finally in sight. But first I had to go to Chicago to defend a thesis.

* * *

A/N: Please review! I hope you liked hearing what Ben had to say.


	13. Chapter 11

A/N: I do not own _Persuasion_. I do love my reviewers. They make it all worth it.

* * *

Chapter 11

* * *

My apartment was finally painted and beautiful. While we painted, we talked about anything and everything. My sisters and their boyfriends were chattering away and making everyone else laugh. Luke Lombardo had spent his summers painting houses-both exterior and interior-during high school and college. And he was organized everything and had the whole project running smoothly. We started painting around six-thirty and we were done by eleven, and that included breaks for pizza and beer and cookies. I had to admit that I had some amazing friends. "I think it looks pretty great," I said when we were done, collapsing onto my couch that was now several feet away from the wall.

Stella plopped down next to me and leaned her head against my shoulder. "You're good with colors. When I get my own place, will you help me decorate?"

I shrugged as I loosened her long dark brown hair from its ponytail holder and ran my fingers through her thick curls. "I'll think about it. But I don't know how Nick will feel about that."

"Why do you think Nick has any say in it?" she asked in a teasing tone I knew all too well.

I grabbed her slender left hand and took the slender silver band with a single diamond on it off of her ring finger. As I dangled it in her face, I told her, "This tells me everything I need to know."

She snatched it back and quickly put it back on her finger. "Don't tell anyone," she whispered in my ear. "He just asked me today; we've only told Mamma and Daddy."

"We haven't even told my parents yet," Nick Cunningham said, coming into the room. "We're having dinner with them tomorrow night."

"Everyone is getting married before me," I sighed, playing with my sister's hair.

"You don't even have a boyfriend," she replied. "And you haven't had one in ages."

"Yeah, I've never seen you with anyone," Nick pointed out.

I sighed. "I haven't dated anyone in a couple of years and I haven't been in a serious relationship in six years."

"She's pathetic," Stella told her fiancé.

I slapped my sister. "Thanks," I told her. "I'll remember that when you're freaking out about passing the bar or panicking over wedding plans."

She stuck her tongue out at me and I laughed. Nick smiled at us. "You two are absurd."

"We grew up with Sofe and Isa," I told him.

"This is our defense mechanism," my sister added.

He laughed before Stella pulled him down to join us down on the couch. He landed with a decidedly un-manly yelp. "That wasn't fair," he said as he adjusted his position on the couch.

"Napolitano girls never play fair," I told him as I got off the couch. "We grew up with Sofe."

"Can you grab me a beer?" my sister asked when she saw me heading to the kitchen.

"Negative," I replied. "I'm going to see people out. I'm not supplying your lazy ass with booze."

She glared at me before turning to Nick. I went into the kitchen to find Luke eating pizza while supervising a Connor Harville-Aidan Gilbert arm-wrestling match. Isabella and Katelyn were doing the dishes. There weren't many but I appreciated not needing to do what there was. "Honey," Isabella said when I came in. "Why do you two have to this every freaking time you're together?"

"It's a guy thing," Aidan replied without looking up or even blinking. "You wouldn't understand it."

And then Connor won. He just grinned and leaned back. "That's why they call me a Harville. We are men of steel."

"Speak for yourself," his younger sister replied. Katelyn Harville was a tall slender twenty-two year old with dark auburn hair and blue eyes. She was stunning and adorable. She also looked a lot like her now-deceased sister, Ally. At some level, the fact that Josh had never made a play for her surprised me. But where Ally was all grace and femininity and sweetness, her sister drank beer and burped and wanted to play tackle football with the guys. But she was gorgeous-even with her hair in a ponytail and purple paint stripes on her face.

Connor looked at his younger sister. "Are you calling me a weakling?"

"No, but I don't like having you telling everyone in the world that we're all men of steel. Ally wasn't a man. You and Kyle can be men of steel but I'm not a man."

"You can be a steel magnolia," I told her. "You're beautiful on the outside, but made of steel on the inside."

She smiled at me. "You're sweet, Gia. But I don't get what that means."

I laughed as Isabella explained, "It's a movie, Katelyn. There's a movie called _Steel Magnolias_ from the late 1980s."

"It's a chick flick," Aidan said with a note of distaste in his voice. "Sarah loves it."

"Most girls do," Luke pointed out. "It's kind of like Pride and Prejudice and _You've Got Mail_. There's some rule out there that says that every girl ever born has to like those things."

"Oh, Luke," I said. "There's a reason you're still single."

He stuck his tongue out at me. "The reason I'm still single is the fact that I haven't met a girl I want to marry yet."

"You dated Katie for years," Aidan told him as he suddenly took up drying the dishes.

"But I wasn't the one for her. She's happier with your brother."

"Gianna," Katelyn told me. "We need to find Luke a woman."

"Yeah, Gia, what are you doing with the rest of your life?" Connor asked me.

"That's a great idea!" Aidan said. "You two would make a great couple."

Isabella shook her head. "I don't like this idea. I think someone else owns my sister's heart."

Luke laughed. "I think Isa is pretty close to the truth. I think Gianna's heart has long belonged to someone else."

"And who is the lucky fellow?" Aidan asked.

Connor gasped. "Wait a minute. Gianna, are we talking about Ben Christianson?"

I blushed and bit my lip. "Okay," Luke said. "I think we need to call Ben and tell him we need him."

"Ben is leaving for Chicago on Friday to defend his thesis," Connor said. "Kyle told me that."

"When will he be back?"

"Probably Thursday," Connor said.

"Then we need to set them up after that," Katelyn said.

"I like Ben," Isa said. "And I really like matchmaking."

"Ay," I said. "Don't you guys remember what happened to Emma?"

"I don't read Jane Austen," Luke replied.

"Same here," Aidan agreed.

"I kind of like that book," Connor said.

"So much for being a man of steel," Katelyn muttered before her brother slapped her.

* * *

It wasn't that I'd never thought about dating Luke. He was consistently single and a really great guy. But he was my friend's ex-boyfriend and he wasn't Ben. I was beginning to realize that Ben was the only guy I could ever marry. It kind of made me want to cry. I had spent years being angry with him and resenting him. And then in the end I was realizing that he was all I wanted. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life without him. "I'm doomed," I told Katie as I explained all of this to her while sitting on her couch Thursday afternoon.

She laughed. "You're not doomed. You just need to wait until Ben gets back into town and then talk to him. You have his email address and phone number, don't you?"

I nodded.

"Then call him."

"But I don't want him to think that I'm needy."

She snorted. "I highly doubt that he thinks that you're needy. And honey, you've got to take some initiative for your relationships. Do you think I got David without any work on my part? I had to be assertive. I had to take initiative. I arranged coffee dates; I called him with opportunities for friendly get-togethers. I didn't push myself on him. I just reminded him that I existed. And you know what happened?"

"He asked you out and then you started dating and then he asked you to marry him and you said yes and you got married and I was in the wedding. I remember."

She glared at me. "You ruined my story. You don't do that to a pregnant woman."

I laughed. "Okay, I'm sorry. Do you want to tell it?"

"Nah, you're the only one listening. Ellie is still asleep."

I smiled. "Katie, you're amazing."

She shook her head. "Nah, I'm nothing special. I'm just Katie."

"I highly doubt that David or Ellie would say that."

She shrugged. "Do you ever wonder if what you're doing is worthwhile? Oh forget it; you're a doctor."

"And you're a wife and mother. That's one of the most beautiful things a woman can do with her life. I'm not just saying that. I really believe that. Think about all the things that you do for David and Ellie on a daily basis. And now there's going to be another baby."

Katie smiled. "On Tuesday, Aidan was over here and he asked me what we were going to name the baby."

I laughed. "You're not due for ages yet. I don't think Jenna and Kyle have a name of their baby yet."

"If it's a boy, he'll be Dominic."

"I thought they were debating between Dominic and Nicholas."

"Nah, they're leaving that for you and Ben. Apparently you both want to name your first son Nicholas. So when you guys get married and have your first son, you can name him Nicholas David or Nicholas Kyle. But I think Nicholas David sounds better."

I laughed. "First I have to talk to the guy and see if he's interested in reestablishing a relationship."

"Don't worry. He is. And I think he'll be okay with it if you want to work while your kids are young."

"Oh gosh," I sighed. "I don't know what I'm going to do about that."

"Well, you're not married to him yet and you're not pregnant yet. So I think you have a while to figure it out."

"I love my job. But I don't want someone else to raise my kids. I want my career and a family. I work with women who watch their kids via a web-cam that's hooked up to their child's daycare center. I don't want that."

"You could have Ben stay home with the kids."

"Why are we talking about this like it's a definite that Ben will be the father of my children?"

"There are several reasons. The first one is the fact that you are attracted to Ben. Secondly, he is attracted to you. And all of this attraction is more than superficial. Thirdly, you admitted to me that he is the only man to whom you could see yourself married. Fourthly, I'm pregnant and bored."

"You're only three months pregnant," I reminded her.

"I'm still pregnant. And I'm bored. You're my entertainment."

I sighed. "Okay, continue with your list."

"Fifthly, David and Kyle have a bet running on all of this and you know how mad they'll be if it falls through."

I laughed. "Well, I wouldn't want to upset them. I'll see what I can do for them."

"We all just want you two to be happy."

"I know. And I want to be happy too. I love my family and friends. And I have a great career. But I want more. I want to have a special someone in my life."

She smiled. "He's leaving for Chicago tomorrow."

"He'll be back next week."

"Wimp," she said.

"What do you want me to do? Do you want me to call him tonight and say 'Hey, I know I've been a bitch to you lately and I know you're leaving town tomorrow but I'm in love with you and I want to get back together, so can we please grab coffee tonight before you leave tomorrow? It'd be great to catch up and lay a foundation before you leave for a week?'"

"Nah, I was more thinking that since you're already here you can stay for dinner and he's coming over for dinner and then you two can talk in a safe environment. And then he'll go to Chicago tomorrow. But you two can exchange friendly phone calls or emails while he's gone."

I sighed. "Fine, I'll stay for dinner. But I'm here so much sometimes I wonder why I don't just live here."

"Because you just painted your own place," Katie replied as her daughter started to cry upstairs. "And now I need to go get my baby."

* * *

I was in the living room playing with Elinor when David got home from work that night. "Where's my wife?" he asked as he took his daughter from me.

"Kitchen," I replied. "She's making dinner and she didn't want any help."

"She gets like that when she's pregnant," he said. "It's a hormone thing. She gets better as it goes along but she gets very territorial."

I smiled. "She's letting me entertain Ellie."

"She knows she can't do everything. And it's really hard to cook while holding Ellie or while Ellie is hanging onto her leg. She's territorial but good with division of labor."

And then the doorbell rang; it had to be Ben. David gave me the baby and opened the door and laughed. "Hey, Gia, Ben brought a bottle of white zinfandel, your favorite!"

"Gianna is here?" Ben asked, clearly surprised.

"Yeah, she came over to help Katie with something and so my wife just invited her to stay for dinner."

"Oh cool," Ben said as they walked into the living room. David was still wearing his work clothes-a dress shirt and khakis-while Ben was wearing khaki shorts and an orange polo shirt. His shaggy brown hair was in need of a cut; it was getting fluffier and wavier than normal.

"Hey, Gianna," he said when he saw me. He never called me Gia anymore and I hated it. I missed being his Gia.

"Hey, Ben, how's it going?"

He shrugged. "Pretty well, I'm ready to be done with my PhD. And I'm up to my eyeballs in dealing with my parents. But I'm still alive so I can't really complain."

I smiled. "What are your parents up to these days?"

"Oh, the usual, they're almost bankrupt and about to have banks foreclose on various properties they own or repossess other things. And they want me to marry Lauren Madison for the sake of Kellynch Publishing despite the fact that there is no possible way for it to stay open beyond the end of the year."

"Lauren Madison?" I repeated. "I thought you hated her."

"I do," he replied as he sat down. "And I have since the age of five. She's annoying and insipid and self-centered."

"And she makes you use 'and' too much," David said.

"Have you ever met her?" Ben asked him.

"Umm, yes, and she was obnoxious."

"When did you meet her?" I asked.

"Gianna, you've met her," Ben said. "She's been at stuff at my parents' house when you were there."

"I know I've met her," I told him. "But when did David ever meet her?"

"At some stupid party at Ben's parents' house during college," David said. "It was all very stupid except for Ben."

"Ben never was very stupid," I said without really thinking about what I was saying.

"Are you saying that he was a little stupid?"

I glared at David who sighed. "Can you please stop doing that? I'm a little sick of all of your negative vibes. What would Sophia think of you?"

And then I rolled my eyes while the guys laughed. I looked at Elinor in my lap. "Ellie, we need to find people who actually appreciate us. Should we go see Mommy in the kitchen?"

"I'm going upstairs to get changed," David said. "You don't have to leave just because of me."

So I stayed in the living room with Elinor and Ben. "So your parents want you to marry Lauren?" I asked.

He nodded and walked over to the fireplace. "Family is a funny thing," he said looking at pictures of David and Katie with their families.

"Why do you say that?"

"You're from a close-knit family. I'm not at all. David and his dad are really close but he also gets along with his mom. Katie and her mom are close but she and her dad almost hate each other. It's just weird."

I smiled. "David and I got really lucky. Katie's dad is good with his sons but he just doesn't know how to relate to Katie and Tessa. And your family is just weird."

He laughed and picked up a picture of David, Katie, and Elinor with both of their families. "What is family anyway? It's a bunch of people with whom you share genetics and so you're stuck with them for the rest of your life."

"You just say that because you don't like your family."

"Friends are better," he replied. "You can choose your friends."

"Okay but try this perspective. When people make comments about your family, you can just remind them that you didn't choose them. But David has to explain why he chose to be in a relationship with Katie."

"Because she's sweet and wonderful," Ben replied. "Why wouldn't he want to be in a relationship with her?"

"Bad example," I said. "Okay, try David and Jenna or Karl and Sophia. Why would a wealthy German artist decide he wanted to marry a crazy American hippie?"

"Love," he replied.

I nodded. "Love lasts a lifetime. Once you fall in love, I don't think you ever really backtrack."

"Then how do you explain marriages like my parents' or all the divorce today? Look at Hollywood."

"People don't know what love is anymore. They get infatuation and lust and physical attraction confused with love. They don't know what commitment means. People don't realize how much of a commitment marriage really is and they aren't prepared for it. Monogamy isn't in style or something. It's like Josh Cole. He's in love with the idea of being in love."

"Why do you say that?"

"He's dating someone now. After moaning and whining over Ally for a year, he just suddenly started dating this girl, Brooke Ascot. He brought her up to Long Lake after we left."

"What? He's dating again? I thought he was never going to date anyone else because he was so broken-hearted from losing Ally."

I nodded, tracing the edge of the picture frame still in my hands. "That's why I think he was in love with the idea of being in love instead of actually in love with Ally. Ally isn't the kind of person you just suddenly replace. I know she's been dead for a year. But you don't pour your broken heart out to the world for a year and then suddenly start dating a girl you met in line at Target."

"A girl he met at Target replaced Ally?" Ben repeated. "Good gravy, Ally was one of those once in a lifetime people. No one could ever replace her."

"Kind of like you," I whispered without thinking.

A note of surprise registered on his face but then David came back into the room and Ellie squealed, "Daddy!" He quickly took his daughter from me and I put the picture frame back on the mantle. Before turning back to the conversation, which was now about hockey instead of the course of true love, I looked at the photograph in the frame and saw the happiness on David's face as he looked at his wife and daughter. Families are shaped more by love than anything else. DNA helps but it's really love that makes it all worthwhile.

And then I listened to David and Ben rehash the entire Red Wings' season. I could have gone in the kitchen but Katie was singing along to an Our Lady Peace CD; I think it was _Gravity_. But I didn't want to interrupt her. So Elinor and I stacked blocks for a while and ignored the people who were ignoring us.

Ben was too gorgeous for his own good. I needed to marry him.

* * *

A/N: Please review! I really appreciate reviews; they motivate me and encourage me and make me happy.


	14. Chapter 12

A/N: I don't own _Persuasion_. And I really appreciate reviews.

* * *

At six o'clock Friday night, I found myself pulling into my parents' driveway. My parents' cars were in the garage-a silver Ford Edge and a black Ford Focus. Sophia's green Honda Prius was parked behind the Edge, a car that she'd always disapproved of. Stella and Isa weren't there yet. I wasn't surprised. Neither of them was known for their punctuality. As always, I let myself in through the kitchen. There I found my mother, a small woman with silver hair and a warm smile. "Gianna!" she exclaimed without leaving her pot of pasta sauce. "Come here and let me look at you. Are you eating enough?"

I hugged her and kissed her cheek. "I'm fine, Mamma. Don't worry about me. How are you?"

"I get to have all of my girls in one place this weekend. And your father still has a job. What more could I ask for? Okay, some grandchildren would be nice. But Stella is getting married. I may get some someday soon. And you, I've got to get you married. Why is it that a beautiful, intelligent girl like you has never gotten married?"

"I've been busy, Mamma," I told her.

"Make a salad and tell me about it."

I laughed and set to work on a salad. "What do you want to know, Mamma?"

"Why you aren't married," she replied. "Is it so hard to find time to find a husband?"

"I guess I'm a workaholic. That's what Dr. Fleming tells me."

"He's right. You work too much." She stopped and pointed a spoon in my face. "You need to get married. You're not getting any younger."

I sighed. "Mamma, I'll get married soon. I promise."

"I want you married before you're thirty. Your sister is in law school and she finds time to get married."

Before I could say anything, Sophia came bursting into the kitchen. "Gianna, you're here! Finally, I've missed you so much. I have so much to tell you. I have really big news."

"You have big news, Sophia Francesca?" my mother asked. "What is your big news? You haven't told me anything."

"Oh, right, I did forget to tell you. Where's Daddy? And Karl! It's big news. And you're really going to like it. We're buying a house and adopting a baby." Then my sister's hands flew to her mouth. "Oh wait! I was supposed to wait for Karl to tell you that. Shit, well, we're buying that house up north. The people who own it-they are bankrupt I guess. And so we're buying it. And we just found out that we've been approved to adopt a baby girl from China."

My mother was beaming. She was finally getting a grandchild. "When did you decide this?"

"We've been talking about it for ages. And we applied a while ago. But we didn't want to tell anyone, get your hopes up. We didn't know how long it would be before we got an answer. So we kept it to ourselves until we knew. But we're buying the house in Uppercross fully furnished, for only a little over $500,000. The lawyer called us yesterday to ask us if we were interested. And we said yes, kind of on a whim. But then we found out that we were going to get a baby. Then I knew we had to keep the house. Gia, we're going to turn that room that you stayed in into a nursery for the baby."

I hugged my sister. "That is amazing news. I'm so happy for you guys-a baby and a house."

"We're going to turn one of the big rooms downstairs into a studio for Karl. It's going to be wonderful."

"It really is," I told her. "That house is perfect for you two. And you're going to be such a good mother."

"And you'll have to make my little girl a baby blanket, Gia," she said.

"Of course, Sofe," I replied. "I've been waiting ages for you to give me nieces and nephews who will need blankets and mittens and all sorts of fun things."

Karl came in just then and his wife blushed. "Karl, sweetie, I'm really sorry but I forgot to wait for you. And I told them about the house and the baby."

My brother-in-law laughed. "It's all right. I just get to tell Isa and Stella when they get here."

She smiled as he wrapped his arm around her. "That's fine with me."

"A granddaughter," my mother whispered to me. "I'm going to be a Nana."

I laughed and then my dad came into the room. "What's all the commotion? Two cars just pulled up in front of the house. I think the rest of the commotion is here. Oh, hello, Gianna, it's great to see you."

I kissed my dad's cheek. "I'm glad to be here. But I think that Karl and Sofe have something they need to tell you."

He looked at them. "What's the news, chickens?"

"You tell him, _liebling_," Sophia told her husband.

Karl grinned. "Papa, Sophia and I are buying the house in Uppercross. The family that owned it, they can't afford it anymore. So they are selling it to us, fully furnished."

"So you'll be in Michigan," my dad said, his pleasure evident in his face. "What brings this about?"

"We have more news," Karl said. "We're adopting a baby girl from China. We're going over next month to bring her home to live with us."

My father beamed at this. "Finally a grandchild," he said hugging my sister. "Congratulations, we're looking forward to meeting her."

"We're here!" Isa bellowed as the front door opened. "Where is everyone?"

"Kitchen," Sophia yelled back. My entire childhood was spent with those sorts of messages. Stella and I were quieter, more reserved. But with Sophia and Isabella in the house, there was always someone making noise or yelling one word answers to questions.

And then there were four more people and all of their noise in the small kitchen. It became even louder when Karl told Stella, Nick, Aidan, and Isa about the house and the baby. And then Nick and Stella announced their engagement. It was one of those moments where I felt as though I didn't belong in my own family. I had no boyfriend, fiancé, or husband. I didn't have any big, exciting news to share. So I smiled and smashed myself against the wall so that everyone else could congratulate each other or hug each other or ask what they were planning on naming the baby. I wanted to slip out the back door and go sit on the back porch until we were all done being emotional. But I was a good sister and just waited.

And then Aidan found me. "Hey," he said; he was a man of few words, like David. "How's the wall?" he asked.

I shrugged. "It wants to be painted, but other than that, it's fine."

He smiled. "And how is Gianna?"

"She's fine. She likes the wall. And how is Aidan?"

"Aidan is not an emotional person and finds himself a bit uncomfortable when he is in situations that bring out a lot of emotions."

I smiled. "Then he probably should realize that Italian women tend to be very emotional as a rule."

"Women in general tend to be very emotional, but Aidan is an engineer. Engineers are not emotional."

"Aidan grew up with four sisters."

"They were Spartan women."

That one made me laugh. "I know your sisters. They aren't Spartan women."

"They're nothing compared to Isa and Sophia."

"What can I say?" I said. "My sisters are in touch with their emotions."

"And you're not?"

I shook my head. "Not like they are, I'm not. Do you hear me squealing right now?"

"Nope, but you never were the squealing type. I think Ben likes that about you."

"Ben likes me?"

"Dude, I think he wants to marry you."

"You were like seventeen when we broke up."

"The guy is still into you," he replied. "And he'll be back on Thursday. You two should talk then."

"I'll take that into consideration."

Aidan smiled. "That's a good girl."

"You are too much like your brother."

"Nah, I'm hotter," he replied with a classic Gilbert grin.

I shrugged. "Egotistical is probably a better word."

"Are you flirting with my sister?" Isa asked coming over to us.

"Nah, she's not really my type."

My sister playfully slapped him. "Hey now, that's my sister you're talking about."

He sighed. "Well, you're my girlfriend. She's just my brother's friend and my girlfriend's sister."

"Be nice to her. She's my sister and I don't like it when she gets hurt."

* * *

After a weekend of family, I went back to work on Monday. Being the workaholic that I was, I had no free time and was absorbed in work. I spent my evenings watching _Sense and Sensibility_ and other Jane Austen movies while crocheting a baby blanket for my niece. And I spent time with my cat. It was nothing grand or exciting. But it was something to do with my life. I love crocheting; it's a great stress release after a long day of work. I did that Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, and I'd planned to do it again on Thursday. But when I got off work, I had a voice mail from David telling me that Ben Christianson was moving into his new apartment, which was in my apartment complex, and needed help.

I called him back and accepted. So Ben would be living nearby-very nearby. That could either make my life much easier or much harder. When I talked to David, I realized that Ben was moving into the apartment across the hall from mine. "We're already here," he said. "Kyle and I are helping him unpack. We could use your help with the kitchen and stuff like that though."

"Well, I wanted to go for a run but after that, I can come over. I'd need to shower first but then I'm free all night."

"Just come on over whenever you're ready," he said. "And don't worry about dinner. We'll feed you pizza and beer."

I laughed. "I'll be there soon."

* * *

I ran for almost an hour and then without even showering or anything, I went over to Ben's new apartment and knocked on the door. He opened it and gasped. "Gianna, what are you doing here?"

"David told me to come over and unpack your kitchen."

He let me into the apartment. "It's a mess and I don't really have much, just what boxes and stuff fit in the bed of my truck."

"What about furniture?" I asked him as I looked around the apartment.

"I brought a mattress and bed frame with me. And I'll buy a table and stuff like that. I have a job."

"So you're a real PhD now?" I asked as I followed him into the kitchen.

Ben nodded. "I'm Dr. Christianson now."

"Well, I'm Dr. Napolitano."

"And these are my boxes. You can put the stuff where you want. I'll figure it out."

I smiled. "And what are you doing?"

"Putting stuff together in the living room with Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum," he replied. "Holler if you need anything."

* * *

And then he left me alone in his kitchen. I wondered if there was any significance to the fact that I was organizing my ex-fiancé's kitchen. But I simply set to work and vaguely listening to the guys' conversation, which was mostly about hockey and baseball. After about half an hour, I realized that I was hungry and went to talk to the guys about food. "You stink," Kyle said when I came in. "I thought David said you were going to shower before you came over."

"I didn't think it would matter to any of the three of you if I smelled like sweat. David and Kyle are married and Ben and I used to go running together."

"And she smelled bad then and she reeks now," David remarked. "And she's dressed like a teenaged boy."

I stuck my tongue out at him. "I'm hungry."

"And why should we feed you?" Kyle asked. "You're intruding on our manly time."

"And I'm freaking hungry. You promised to feed me. Or at least, David did."

Ben picked up a paper plate and put two pieces of cheese pizza on it. "Here you go," he said. "And here's a napkin and a beer. Do you need anything else?"

"Nope," I said. "I'm quite content in the kitchen."

"Do you want any help in there?" Ben asked. "I think these two need to be heading home soon."

"Pregnant wives," Kyle muttered. "But yeah, I should be going. Jenna needs help with Ava and little Gia."

"And Katie will need help with Elinor," David said. "She's having all-day sickness instead of morning sickness. I think Gianna knows how to use the contents of a tool box."

And with that, I was left alone with Ben. "David says your sister is adopting a baby soon," he remarked as I ate. We were sitting on the living room floor.

I nodded. "They're adopting a baby girl from China. They're going over there on August second to get her. I think she's about six months old."

"I never saw Sophia as the maternal type."

I smiled. "They've been trying to have a baby for a while now. But they decided that it would be better to adopt. Sophia wanted to do something that would benefit the world, not just give her a baby. She talks about global consciousness and our duty to those who are not as lucky as us."

He laughed. "Sometimes she reminds me of Angelina Jolie."

"Don't tell her that. She hates Angelina Jolie, feels that Brad and Angelina only do it for the publicity and that they don't really care about their kids. I don't necessarily agree with her. But she told me that she wouldn't adopt from a country from which Angelina had adopted."

"So she picked China."

I nodded. "And Karl and Sophia felt that it was a great idea, a good place from which to adopt. And they're going to have a baby finally, a beautiful baby girl."

"Do they know what they're going to name her?"

"They're tossing around a couple of names. "I've heard Hannah, Francesca, Gwendolyn, and Rebecca tossed around. I think Sarah and Leah have also come up."

"I don't like Gwendolyn," he said. "And I'm not sure how I feel about Francesca Zimmer."

"Francesca is Sophia's middle name."

"And it's your mother's middle name."

"It was my grandmother's first name," I told him.

"It's a beautiful name," he told me. "The women in your family have beautiful names. I love the Italian theme."

"My parents are Italian," I replied.

"You have beautiful names," he said. "And I think yours is my favorite."

"Are you trying to tell me something?" I asked with a hint of suggestion in my voice.

Just then, his cell phone started ringing. He pulled it out of his pocket and after looking at hit, handed it to me. "Answer it and tell her that you're my girlfriend."

I was confused but I opened the phone without thinking to check the caller ID. "Hello?"

"Hi, Benny, this is Lauren Madison. Do you remember me?"

"I'm sorry. This isn't Benjamin. This is his girlfriend, Gianna. And we're kind of in the middle of something."

"Well, Mr. Christianson said that he was single and that I should call him."

"Mr. Christianson was mistaken," I replied tersely.

There was a moment's pause. "Could I speak to Ben please?"

"He's busy," I replied before closing the phone. Then I handed it back to Ben. "Your father told Lauren Madison to call you."

"I know," he replied leaning his head against the wall and sighing. "Lauren's been calling me at every possible opportunity the past few days. And she's convinced that we're going to get married or something just because my parents want it."

"Well, she's rich enough hat they could save your family."

"No one could save our family at this point. Lauren can burn for all I care. She isn't what I want."

"And what do you want?" I asked. I bit my lip and decided to be assertive; in college, a professor had told me that my biggest problem was that I wasn't assertive enough. "Are you looking for something with a bit more of an Italian flavor?"

He laughed. "That's quite possible. I lost something about six years ago and I need to get it back."

I sighed. "Well, I think you know where to look for it."

"I do. Hey, question for you," he said.

"What's that?"

"Is Logan dating some nurse?"

"Yep," I said.

"And then Josh is dating some girl named Brooke?"

I nodded. "I don't get it. She's nice but she's nothing special."

"You don't get over someone like Ally easily. It isn't possible. I could never do it."

"Neither could I," I replied. "Once you fall in love, if it's for real, you'll never lose it. Even if that person leaves you, you'll never stop loving them."

And then his phone rang again. He took it out and sighed. "Hello, James, what can I do for you?"

He was talking to his father and his voice was edged with frustration and annoyance. His face, which had been so happy and open only minutes before, was now tense and stressed. I knew his facial expressions well and I knew that he was losing his patience. He was running his hands through his hair and he was overwhelmed. After ten or more minutes of listening to one side of a terse conversation, I tapped his shoulder. "I'm going to let myself out," I told him.

He nodded and waved. And then I left. But I knew now that he still loved me. For the first time in six years, I had hope. There was hope for Ben and me. It might actually be possible for me to marry Ben. I missed him. I really missed spending time with him and talking to him. Now he was across the hall, which meant I could see him more. And I wanted to see him more often.

* * *

A/N: Please review! And I finally decided how to handle Mr. Eliot. Lauren Madison is a much less dangerous version of him-just a very persistent girl who needs to stop bothering Ben.


	15. Chapter 13

A/N: I don't own _Persuasion_. And a big thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far. I appreciate it.

* * *

I spent the next few days working hard. I didn't see much of Ben but I was rarely home. I suddenly found myself working a thirty hour shift at the hospital on Friday, covering for someone else. And then after that, I went home and slept for close to thirty hours, waking up only to go to Mass on Sunday and then going home and back to sleep again. And then I woke up around dinner time, ate dinner, and then watched a movie and crocheted for a while. Around nine o'clock, I remembered that I needed to take the trash out. On my out of the building, I met a tall, slender blonde who was clearly trying to get into the building. "Excuse me," she asked. "Do you know where Ben Christianson lives?"

"Yes," I replied. "Do you need him to buzz you in?"

She nodded. "I'm his girlfriend, Lauren."

"Ben isn't home," I replied. "I'm Gianna and I know that he isn't home."

"I talked to Mr. Christianson again. He says that Ben isn't really dating you."

"I talked to Ben," I told her. "And he says that he isn't dating you."

She adjusted her sunglasses and shook her head. "He's shy, my Benny. He doesn't like telling people about our relationship. He's afraid that people will judge him for dating an heiress like me while he's pretending to be one of the ordinary, boring people."

I nodded, as if that made sense, and took my bags to the complex dumpster. When I got back to the front door, Lauren was still there. "Can you let me in?" she asked, playing with her cell phone. "Benny won't let me in. He isn't answering his phone or his buzzer-thing."

I shrugged. What would it hurt to let her in the front door? If nothing else, she'd hopefully realize that Ben wasn't interested in her. So I unlocked the door and let her in. Then, I ran upstairs to my apartment-3F. As I ran, I could hear the slow and steady click of her stilettos against the stairs. I went back into my apartment and settled on the couch with a mug of tea and a book. About fifteen or twenty minutes later, someone banged on my door. "Who is it?" I yelled, walking towards the door.

"Ben," he replied. As soon as I opened the door, he walked in. "Why did you let her in?"

I shrugged. "I figured you could tell her where to get off. And she was annoying me."

"Yeah, well, she annoys me more than she'll ever annoy you. She really thinks that she's going to marry me. And apparently we're going to have three children."

"Oh really?" I asked, letting him in.

"Yes and we're going to name them Hillary, Adelaide, and Christiana."

"Oh, you're only having girls."

He nodded. "I'm not looking forward to it."

I smiled. "You'll be a great dad to girls."

"And I'd rather kill myself than spend the rest of my life with Lauren."

"Then don't."

"I told her to go to hell. It kind of reminded me of someone else I know."

"That happened in this very apartment."

"I know," Ben replied. "Trust me; I know. The irony was not lost on me."

I shook my head, more out of instinct than because I was disagreeing with anything he had to say. "Well, does she understand you now?"

He shrugged. "I think so. I told her she wasn't my type. I told her that I like blondes, chubby ones."

I laughed. "Did she catch the movie reference?"

"Nope," he replied. "But I should thank you for making me watch that over and over again. That line is indispensable in getting rid of obnoxious women."

"You've used it more than once?" I asked.

He nodded. "I've even used it on students before."

"You're awful."

He smiled. "I blame you."

"One of my principal duties as your girlfriend was to educate you in the world of chick flicks."

"I hated that."

I shrugged. "I can be a bitch. Do you want to come in?"

He laughed. "Sure, why not? Just don't make me watch _Pride and Prejudice_ again."

"We don't have enough time for that," I told him. "But I can make you a cup of tea and we can talk for a bit."

"You and tea," Ben said with a smile.

"It's a way of life," I replied. "You just don't understand."

"Yeah, how many girls ask for a teapot, a blender, cookie sheets, and a toaster for their twenty-first birthday?"

"I'm sophisticated."

He laughed. "Thus says the woman who burps at every possible opportunity."

"Hey now, I don't do that anymore. Medical school cured me of that."

"Are you serious? Does David know?"

I nodded. "But he was already engaged by the time I stopped burping."

David Gilbert had once announced that the only reason he would never marry me was my "unladylike fascination with burping."

"Shame," Ben said. "But I am glad to hear that the burping is gone. It was always a little annoying."

"I never burped in restaurants, just in the comfort of my own home."

"And how on earth was I ever going to explain you to Adelaide and James?"

I shrugged. "The same way you explained the rest of me to them, I'm an uncultured Italian."

"Meh, the burping aside, you're a pretty civilized broad."

"Thanks," I replied. "You make me feel so good about myself."

Ben laughed. "Sorry, I really should be more careful what I say. It's just, I feel really comfortable around you. It's easy to go back to the way things used to be."

I smiled. "I know. But we're not quite there."

* * *

He stayed for almost two hours and we just talked. It really was easy, comfortable, and just like old times. And it was good. I liked being friends with Ben again. I'd missed him without really ever realizing it. Talking to Ben flowed; it was natural. It was fun. He had grown up in the past six years. He was more mature, more serious. He'd seen more of the world in the past few years and it had hardened him up. But when combined with his natural sarcasm and cynicism, it wasn't entirely a bad thing. He's a pretty great guy and he does love tea-even if he does mock me for my passion for it. "I just think you're a bit over the top with it," he told me that night. "You have about fifteen flavors of tea in your cupboards."

"I like offering people a variety. It's the spice of life."

He shook his head. "You're crazy."

"Crazy happens," I told him. "You've just got to roll with the punches."

"They could put that on t-shirts."

"And if they sold them, I could be rich."

He laughed. "You're more likely to be rich than I am."

I nodded. "This is true."

"Oh," he said suddenly. "You want to hear something completely crazy?"

I shrugged. "Sure, try me."

"Carissa is pregnant."

"That's not a shocker," I replied.

"You were expecting my sister to have another kid? Have you seen her with Jayden? She doesn't really like being a mother."

"I think she likes being a mother," I protested.

He looked at me. "Gianna, are we talking about the same Carissa Christianson-Cross?"

"Your only younger sister, isn't she?"

"Yes but I don't think she has much in the way of maternal instincts."

I shrugged. "I don't think so either. But I think she loves her son and cares deeply for him. She just doesn't know how to manage the little guy."

"And now there will be another baby that she doesn't know how to manage."

I sighed. "Can't you at least try to be happy for her? She is your sister after all."

* * *

"_Gianna, you can't possibly understand my family," he told me as we sat on the beach. "They're so complicated. They don't do anything just because they love you or they want to make you happy. Everything they do has a purpose."_

_I shrugged. "I still want to meet them, Ben. They're your family and they're a part of you. I want to know what they're like."_

"_Boring, insipid, and stupid, and that's just the beginning." _

"_Be serious, Ben," I said. "What was Christmas like when you were little?"_

"_We went to Paris most years. Occasionally, we came up here to Uppercross. But mostly, we went to Paris."_

"_What about your grandparents? Did they come? Or were your aunts and uncles and cousins there?"_

"_No," he said simply. "My mom had grown up so much from being little Addie Eliot in a small town in Texas. She didn't want her parents or siblings around. She didn't want people to know where she came from."_

"_So it was just your family? That sounds lonely."_

_Ben nodded. "It was lonely. But that's the way my family is."_

"_Okay, tell me about your sisters."_

"_You'd hate them," he replied without hesitation. _

"_Oh come on," I said. "I don't hate anyone. I couldn't hate anyone."_

_He laughed. "Eliot wants to be an actress and she's quite possibly the most self-absorbed person ever born."_

"_I doubt that."_

"_Gia, she once took over the bathroom and banned Carissa and I from it for the rest of the year."_

"_Sofe and Isa both tried stunts like that."_

"_Yeah, well, my parents backed Eliot up on it."_

_I snorted. "That would never fly in my parents' house."_

"_It wasn't a huge deal. My parents' house has four full bathrooms."_

"_My parent' house has two and a half baths."_

"_I know. But I love your parents' house. It's cute, sweet, and comfortable."_

_I smiled. "What is your parents' house like?"_

"_Big, spacious, and impersonal," he replied. "My parents have an interior designer who redoes the place every two or three years."_

"_That sounds expensive."_

"_It probably is. My parents don't really confide in me about their finances. They don't really confide much at all in us. They don't trust us."_

_I nodded. "I still want to meet them. They're your parents. They're a part of you. They're letting us use this house for the summer. They must be nice."_

_He smiled in a weird, wry way. "They don't know anything about you. They think you're some rich heiress like Lauren Madison. They don't know that you're working your way through college or any of that. And worse, they'd hate you and try to drive us apart if they did. They hate poverty."_

"_How can anyone hate poverty? And I don't live in poverty. I just refuse to take anything from my parents that I don't think they can afford." I was splitting the cost of college fifty-fifty with my parents. I was paying for books and housing on my own. But actual tuition, we split that. They couldn't afford to send me to the University of Michigan. So I got scholarships and jobs. I wasn't about to force my parents to do more than they could really afford to do. _

"_My parents don't like thinking about the idea that anyone doesn't live like they do. They look down on people who don't have their standard of life. I don't understand it."_

"_Okay," I said. "Tell me about Carissa."_

"_She's needy, attention-seeking, and a hypochondriac. And she loves chick flicks, apples, and romance novels. Her goal in life is to marry a rich man who can take care of her for the rest of her life. She loves fashion. Roses are her favorite flower. She loves pink things. And she really wants someone to care about her."_

"_You sound like you do care about her."_

"_She's my baby sister. I watched her grow up. I love her. But I'm not what she wants. I'm just her big brother. She wants our parents' approval and she wants a boyfriend. I'm not her father or someone she could date. I'm useless to her."_

* * *

I really felt bad for Ben. He'd been through a lot. And I hadn't really helped much this summer. I felt bad about that-really bad. Some humble pie might be in order. But I didn't see much of him after that Sunday night. I worked all week again. And then I went to a barbecue at the Harvilles' house on Friday night. Ben was there; we actually carpooled because we ran into each other as we were both walking out of our apartments and we decided it would be easier to drive together, less expensive too. And it was there that I realized a few things.

* * *

Ben Christianson was not, by nature, an assertive man. I had learned this about ten years ago. I had been the one to say "Hi, my name is Gianna" all those years ago in our first psychology class. Oh sure, he'd asked me out for the first time; I don't think I could have handled that. I'm not much of a feminist. And he'd been the one to actually say "Will you marry me?" six years ago. But we'd discussed marriage before that particular moment. He knew what I wanted.

But Ben was not terribly assertive. He was reserved and preferred a small group of close friends to a large crowd. In short, if we were ever going to be anything more than friends and neighbors, I was going to have to do or say something.

So after overhearing Jenna and Ben argue about true love, fidelity, broken hearts, popular culture, 80s love ballads, and Josh Cole, I knew two things:

Ben Christianson was undeniably still in love with me. AND

I needed to send him an email-NOW.

It was two in the morning and far too late to call. Driving home, we'd talked about possible names for my niece who would be coming home in a few days. He preferred Hannah; I preferred Francesca. Francesca is a family name; Hannah is not. I'm a family person and I like the idea of naming people after family members.

But now, I needed to email him. Six years without him had been long enough. I needed him back in my life.

* * *

A/N: The letter will be in the next chapter. I actually wrote it last night. But I like making people wait. So please review.


	16. Chapter 14

A/N: I don't own _Persuasion_.

* * *

To: "Benjamin J. Christianson"

From: "Gianna M. Napolitano"

Date: August 6

Subject: URGENT

Ben,

Okay, I'm just going to be honest here. I was a petty bitch at Uppercross-and probably even afterwards. I really thought I was over you. But I wasn't. I was weak, angry, petty, stupid, resentful, and a thousand other awful, negative things. But I have never stopped loving you. I tried to date other guys-but they were never you. No one else could ever know me, love me, fill me, and understand me like you. I trust you. And I want what we used to have back. I want to be use again. I heard you talking to Jenna earlier tonight. I've seen you and heard you-even when I haven't wanted to do so-these past few weeks. You still love me. (Or at least, I hope you do. I think you do. But maybe I'm still being prideful and self-centered.) But I think you still love me. And so, after six years, I'm offering you my heart-which is really yours; it's been yours for ages. It's always been yours. It is (and I am) even more your own than it was when you broke it six long years ago.

Forgive me. On my part, all is forgiven.

Benjamin, te quiero. Te adoro, siempre.

With all of my heart,

Gianna Maria Napolitano

* * *

And after I hit "send" (without proofreading-something I almost never did) all I could do was to wait for his response. And I am not by nature a patient woman. But in a lucky brief fit of sanity, I went to bed. I didn't want to wait for Ben's answer but I needed to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, I got up and checked my email. There was nothing from Ben. I sighed and decided to take out the trash; I hadn't done it since Sunday. When I got back, sitting in front of my door was a navy blue Michigan sweatshirt that looked exactly like the one that I had ruined seven years earlier. Inside of it, I found a note. "I think this is more suited to you than pearls. Plus, I already gave you pearls."

I smiled and took the sweatshirt inside. I took it as a good sign. But a better one would have been seeing Ben and actually being able to talk to him.

The weird thing about the sweatshirt was that it came from Steve and Barry's, a store that had lost their contract with the University of Michigan over a year ago. They no longer made Michigan apparel, which meant that Ben had bought this sweatshirt a while ago. He might have bought it all those years ago after the incident with the pearl necklace. Or maybe he bought it sometime between then and now. Whenever he bought it, it didn't matter. What mattered was the fact that he seemed to care about me. And he seemed to know what I had said in my email. And then the phone rang; it was my mother.

* * *

A few hours later brought a knock on the door. When I opened it, Ben was there. "I thought the sweatshirt would have brought you over," he said when I opened the door.

I shook my head. "It didn't, apparently."

"But after the email last night," he began.

"My mom called. I would have come over but my mom called and needed to talk about stuff. Karl and Sofe are bringing the baby home soon."

"Does she have a name yet?"

"Hannah," I replied. "Hannah Francesca Zimmer is her full name."

"That's a mouthful."

I shrugged. "I like it. It's very pretty and not as uber-Italian as our names are."

He laughed. "I like how Italian all of your names are. It's romantic and beautiful. And you were probably the only Gianna in your class."

"Try in the whole school. It's not really a common name."

"I like that. You're unique and so is your name. It suits you."

I laughed. "Come in. You've won me over."

"So you'll marry me?" he said coming into the apartment.

I shrugged. "I'm a bit wary of your marriage proposals. The last time you asked me to marry you, you backed out three weeks later."

"And then you told me to go to hell and chucked the ring at me."

I winced. "I'm sorry about that."

"No, no, don't apologize. I deserved it. I was an ass that day. I shouldn't have done that."

"Whatever," I said, plopping on the couch. "It's in the past. And like I said in my email, I want to start over. I think we have a future."

"I'd have to agree. But can you please refrain from cussing me out and throwing things at me in the future?"

"Benjamin Christianson, you make me sound like an abusive bitch."

He shrugged. "Sorry but if the shoe fits…"

I looked around for something to throw at him but found nothing. So I just sighed. "You just like picking on me."

"Yes, I derive pleasure from your pain."

"Then why would I ever want to be in a relationship with you?"

Ben adjusted his glasses and frowned. "Oh fine, go find someone else to love you and all of your idiosyncrasies."

"Are you suggesting that you love me?" I asked with a slight smile.

"It's a definite possibility," he replied with a smile.

"So what have you been doing with your life for the past six years?" I asked, playing with his long fingers. He could have been an amazing pianist but he really preferred the guitar. And the long fingers were good for that too.

"Working, studying, learning about the world, writing, eating, and sleeping," he replied stroking my own fingers, which were shorter than and not as beautiful as his.

"Sounds boring," I told him.

He smiled. "I loved teaching. That was great. And I enjoy writing. So it hasn't been all bad. And what have you been doing?"

"Medical school and my residency," I replied. "I occasionally spent time with friends or ate or slept. But mostly, medicine kept me really busy. I didn't have much of a life. Apparently, I'm a workaholic."

"You need me in your life," Ben replied. "I help you relax and have fun."

"You make me happy. That's what Jenna would say. She thinks I'm happier when you're around."

"It's possible," he said, stroking my arm. "I think that I bring out a part of you that you don't normally express."

"That's probable," I told him. "You always made me more of an extrovert."

"And that's funny because I'm not much of an extrovert on my own."

"But you're more extroverted than I am. You're more outgoing and friendlier than I am."

"But you do better with kids than I do."

I smiled. "I think I have some magnetic force field around my body that draws children to me."

"Probably true," he replied. "But someday you'll be a great mom. And for now you can be a great aunt and godmother."

"Karl and Sofe want me to be little Hannah's godmother."

"You should say yes."

"Isn't there some kind of 'three times a godmother, never a mother' ditty?"

He laughed. "Not to my knowledge; I think there's just three times a bridesmaid."

"Been there, done that," I replied.

"In how many weddings have you been a bridesmaid?"

"Sophia's, Jenna's, Katie's, and I'll be in Stella's next summer. So I'm three times a bridesmaid, soon to be four times."

"What do you do with the dresses?"

"Keep them," I replied. "I don't know what else to do with them."

"You could give them to Goodwill or Value World."

I shrugged. "It's a possibility. What time is it?"

"Five-thirty," he replied.

"Want to help me make dinner?" I asked.

"Why not?" he replied. "What are you making?"

"Pasta with homemade sauce, I think."

"That sounds great."

* * *

And so, we found ourselves back in our old comfortable flow. We started dating again, slowly, and relishing the feeling of a new, fresh relationship. I loved having someone who bought me flowers and he loved having someone who would listen to him read and talk. And we laughed. I stopped being such a workaholic. And Dr. Fleming (and many other people) thanked God and Ben.

* * *

In late-September, we made our first REAL public appearance together as a couple at my niece's baptism. Hannah was a darling; she had been about six months old when Sofe and Karl adopted her and she was just the cutest little thing ever. And my mom was thrilled to finally have a grandchild. And she hoped for many more. "I just think you girls all need to settle down and start families," she told me as I held Hannah at the post-baptism brunch.

"Talk to Stella," I told her. "She's actually engaged; I'm just dating."

"What are you two waiting for?" she asked. "You're twenty-eight years old, Gianna. You're not getting any younger."

"Thanks, Mom," I said as Ben came up behind me. "Thanks a lot."

"What's the matter?" Ben asked.

"I just think you two should get married and have a family," Mom said before I could get a word in edgewise. Oh gracious, there were days when I wondered if my mother had any tact at all. "She isn't getting any younger, you know. You want to have children while you're young."

He wrapped his arm around my waist. "We're taking things slowly, Mrs. Napolitano. We really blew it for a while. We need to make sure we get it right this time."

"Just don't take too much time. I want more grandchildren."

"Go talk to Stella," he told her.

She laughed and walked away.

"What was that?" he asked me.

"I already told her to go talk to Stella."

"She's already engaged."

I laughed. "I know. Hey, you want to hold the baby? My arms are getting tired."

"Shouldn't that be her godfather's job?" Hannah's godfather was a friend of Karl's from college named Hans Mueller, or something like that. And he wasn't much of a baby person.

"I don't see Hans anywhere," I told Ben. "And she's cute."

He laughed. "You know I'm a sucker for cute girls. Hand her over."

And so I did. Of course, Hannah loved him. Everyone loves Ben; he's adorable and sweet and funny. And he wears glasses, with which Hannah wanted to play-of course. I used to wonder why he always wore glasses when his family could afford to buy him contacts if he wanted. So I asked him if he was afraid of sticking his finger in his eyes; that had bothered me for a while when I was in high school. But he said no, he just liked the way he looked in glasses. And he looks hot-really gorgeous-in glasses.

* * *

"So you're finally dating him, huh?" Karl said to me a little while later.

"Yep," I replied. "I figured out what made me happy."

"And it wasn't a pretty blond boy?" my blond brother-in-law teased.

I laughed. "Nope, it turns out that I really like dark brown hair."

"Yeah, we all knew that many years ago."

"Oh shut up."

He smiled. "You're cute when you're angry."

"And you're married to my sister. Go bother someone else."

"Give me back my baby and I will." Ben had given Hannah to Sophia who had given her to my mother who had given her to me. My mother wants me to get married and have a baby; she can't stop hinting about it.

So I handed Hannah over to her father. And then I went in search of my boyfriend who was talking to Aidan and Nick. Somehow, I managed to drag him away from them when I reminded him that we had a four-hour drive back home and I had to work the next morning. "And so do you," I added.

He smiled. "Then get your jacket and let's get going. Is your bag in the car already?"

"Yep," I replied. "And I'm driving. I don't trust you with my car."

"Psh, I trust me."

"Yeah, well, you can drive your car but I'll drive mine."

"You know that I'll get to drive your car once we get married."

I sighed as we walked away from my sisters' significant others. "Yeah, well, we're not married yet. We're not even engaged."

"That's easily changed."

"Is that a marriage proposal?" I asked as I put on my favorite black trench coat and grabbed my purse.

"Not yet," he replied. "When I propose, it will be much more recognizable. You won't know what hit you. And it'll be ten times better than last time."

I laughed. "I'm looking forward to it."

* * *

He proposed right before Christmas. He'd just finished his first semester at the University of Michigan and his students had loved him. He was young and handsome and cool. And he really knew his stuff.

And he really knew how to knock a girl's socks off. The Friday before Christmas, I got an email after I got home from work telling me to get dressed up and "wait for the next clue."

So I put on my Little Black Dress, a gorgeous but simple dress that I'd bought a few years earlier but rarely wore. And I did my make-up and put my hair up. I put on my nicest shoes, which also happened to have the highest heels. And then there was a knock at the door. When I opened it, I simply found a blue Post-It note that said "Go to your car. The next clue is there."

I threw my cell phone in my purse and put on my coat. Then I ran downstairs and found Kyle standing in front of his car, which was parked right next to mine. "I'm your chauffer for the evening," he told me.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Come here," he said. When I got to him, he blindfolded me and then helped me into a car, which was probably his.

And then he got in the front seat and started driving. He talked to me, telling me about how his daughters and his new baby son, Dominic James, who had been born in mid-September. We went like this for about twenty minutes until he stopped the car. And then he let me out of the car. Without removing my blindfold, he helped me to my feet. "David is here and he's going to help me walk you inside."

"Are you going to shoot me?" I asked as David took my left arm.

"Nope," Kyle said. "We're just on a secret mission."

And then they led me into a building, which had a few steps before its front door. When we stopped, David took my purse from me and then Kyle helped me out of my coat. And then, they removed the blindfold. I gasped and I had to grab David to keep from falling over. We were in my uncle Sal's restaurant, in a private room that was decorated with candles, red gerbera daisies, and white Christmas lights. And Ben was there, wearing a black suit with a dark blue shirt and a silver tie. And he was on bended knee by a table.

"Oh my god," I whispered. "This is beyond anything I could have dreamt."

"Is it okay?" Ben asked.

I nodded. "It's very okay."

David released my arm and I walked towards Ben. And then David and Kyle slipped out of the room.

Ben was still there, with the black jewelry box in his hand. "Gianna Maria, you are the most amazing woman I have ever met and I love you more than you could ever imagine. You are my ideal woman, all I want. I know I screwed things up with you really badly once. But I'm here promising you forever. I won't back out. I need you. I love you. I want you-forever. If you say yes to me, I'll be the happiest man alive. Will you marry me?"

I nodded. "Yes, Ben, I will marry you."

He stood up and hugged me, then kissed me, and then hugged me again. And then he kissed me again. And then he took my left hand in his. "I think this should still fit," he said as he slid a ring onto it.

"It's the same ring!" I gasped. "It's the ring from last time."

"Yes it is," he replied. "Is that okay?"

"More than okay," I told him before kissing him.

"Do you mind telling everyone about this now?" he asked.

"Who is everyone?"

"Oh, you know," he replied shyly. "Your family, Carissa, Nolan, Kyle, Jenna, David, and Katie; they're all here."

"Where are they?" I asked, slightly stupidly as I realized that the room was set up for a large group, not just two people.

"Just a minute," he said and walked away from me. A few minutes later, he came back with everyone. We had a big dinner with family and friends and it was perfect, absolutely perfect. I was finally going to marry the man of my dreams.

* * *

A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I'll have the epilogue up soon-hopefully.


	17. Epilogue

A/N: I don't own _Persuasion_-for the last time.

* * *

So what happened after that? Well, in January David and Katie had a baby boy whom they named Thomas Michael. Stella and Nick got married in June. And Ben and I got married in December. His parents came to the wedding and never smiled. It was okay; Ben and I smiled enough for a hundred people.

I finished my residency about six months after we got married. And four months after that, Nicholas Benjamin Christianson was born on November 29. He was adorable with dark brown hair and eyes. And he was my son. The following spring, we bought a house near David and Katie's house-in the same Riverside subdivision that isn't by any rivers. We had four more children after Nicholas. Maria Elizabeth was about two and a half years younger than Nicholas. Then our twins, Zachary Anthony and Nathan Michael, came along. And our youngest was Sarah Teresa.

Marriage treats Ben and me well. It is good for us to be married to each other. And we have an amazing family. We've been married for ten years now. Nicholas is nine, Maria is six, Zack and Nate are four, and Sarah is about a year old. And we're good to go. Ben is still working as a professor at the University of Michigan. I'm still a doctor but I only work part-time these days. I work every morning of the week while my mom watches my kids. And then I get the rest of the day with my kids. And Mamma loves being Nona. It's like she died and went to heaven.

Life is good. And I'm glad I let him back into my life.

And if you're wondering what happened to Josh and Logan, well, Josh married Brooke the Target Girl and they have two daughters. Logan never became a doctor but he did become an EMT. And he married that nurse. I think they're happy; I really never see him anymore. I have Ben and I'm quite happy with him. We both grew in many ways in the six years we were away from each other and that was probably a good thing. We came back to each other as more mature individuals and better prepared to build a strong, lasting relationship. And I love him and that's what matters.

* * *

A/N: Please review. It's finally done.


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